7 Lessons for Parents Parenting thier Children - Part 2

Well take your Bible, turn back to Ephesians chapter 5. I'll say turn back to Ephesians chapter 5. We were in chapter 6 verses 1-4 earlier in our scripture reading. But we're going to start off a little later on in Ephesians 5. Then we'll be in 1 Corinthians 13 verses 1-3 and then we'll end up back at Ephesians 6 verses 1-4. Now I will mention several other portions of scripture and as always I encourage you to write those down and make those a part of your Bible study time. But just like last week I do ask you to make sure you stay in tune with what we have before us this morning.

Do your dead level best to be on your toes because I believe the Lord is really speaking and working in all of us. Now I think that most of you know that last week we started looking at seven lessons for parents who were working to parent their children in the Lord. Of course as Christian parents it is our duty to parent our children in the Lord, God's way, and we should want these things. And I believe that these seven lessons are much needed. I am convinced that these lessons will help all of us as we work to do what? To bring up our children in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord.

Now I assume that most of you know why I preach these kinds of messages. When we cover certain portions of scripture that deal with certain important issues I sometimes feel strongly impressed of the spirit that I need to take that teaching a little further and that is what we are doing here with these lessons. From Ephesians chapter 6 verses 1-4 we studied our great responsibilities as children and parents and these seven lessons are meant to help us in all of these things. Now last Sunday we covered the first three lessons and to me they are the most important. As a matter of fact I think all of these are in the proper order.

And lesson number one was saving faith is the key to unlocking the door. Saving faith is the key to unlocking the door to the kingdom of God. We looked at the fact that without true saving faith the door to the kingdom of God is locked to both parents and children. And we saw that unsaved parents and unsaved children cannot perceive, they cannot understand, they cannot have a true knowledge of the kingdom of God. They are shut out in every way not just physically. And my major point here was this. We can bring up our children in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord and we certainly should.

But if we do not come to saving faith our efforts will only produce an external Christian. Think about that. But if our children do not come to saving faith our efforts will only produce an external Christian. And I tried real hard to call us all to our responsibilities here. We are to bring them up in the instruction, the discipline of the Lord, yes. But all the while we are to evangelize them. We are to explain to them that they are sinners and they are in need of Christ. We share the gospel with them. And they are a part of the gospel because Jesus came to die for who? Sinners. And then we pray and we wait.

We wait on the spirit to bring life. And then I also called us all as a church to some responsibilities here. And I took this a little further last Wednesday night. We are to engage in this work together. And I called us all to begin to make a list of all of our little boys and girls and our teenagers and to pray for their salvation if they haven't already come to faith in Christ. And you start off by putting the names of those in your small group, their children and praying for them. We should all be engaged in this work. And look church, there is this ongoing debate.

There is this large discussion about why children can grow up in the church and they can graduate from high school and then they can seemingly graduate from God. And there are many opinions as to why children grow up in the church and they go to college or they go off into the workforce and they go the way of the world. Church this debate honestly can be cleared up if we go to the scriptures and let the scriptures explain these things. Now it might be hard for us to understand or excuse me, it might be hard for us to accept.

The reason so many are confused about the issue is because they do not go to the scriptures and let the scriptures tell us why this happens. And there are two facts that I want to give us here that will clear up this discussion really fast. Again it might be hard for you to accept this. First if our children come to true saving faith, they truly come to faith in Christ at the age of 9 or 12 or 19. If we bring them up in the discipline of the Lord as we should, they can go off to college, they can go into the workforce and into the world and they can live for God. And we should believe this with no problem.

We should if we believe and understand the doctrine of the perseverance of the saints. It's been a while since I mentioned our church statement of faith. There are some copies on the table behind you in the front entrance and in the welcome center. Our statement of faith is easy for you to understand and read. It's an expression of what we teach and what we believe. Of course some of these things are hard for us to understand. But I want to call your attention to letter E.

I know you don't have it in front of you, but the way of salvation is number four and then under the way of salvation is the way of salvation includes the following essential doctrines. Letter A, grace and regeneration, letter B, repentance and faith, letter C, justification, letter D, sanctification and then E, the perseverance or the preservation of the saints. Now listen to this short paragraph.

We believe that God will preserve his redeemed throughout life and to the end, John 831, so that none who had been born of God can ever be lost, that their preserving relationship to Christ is the supreme characteristic which distinguishes them as true believers from those who merely profess to believe. First John 2.19, that a special providence of God watches over the welfare of their souls, Romans 8.28, and that they are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation, from regeneration and justification through sanctification unto final glorification. Philippians 1 verse 6. Now how does this apply to our children?

We believe in the preservation or the perseverance of the saints. We might say, "Yup, pastor, I believe we cannot lose our salvation." That's right, but there's another side to that doctrinal position. This also means that in life the true believer perseveres in their relationship with God and that is because first and foremost God perseveres in his relationship with his redeemed. So that means that our son, our daughter, they can come to saving faith at 8.12 or 17 and we can bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord and they can go to college and they can persevere in their faith.

Our Christian sons, they can go off into the workforce and they can persevere in their faith. Why? Because God perseveres in them. And you know, if we don't believe this, how could we ever send a missionary off to a foreign land? It's easy for us to think about that and apply that to the missionary, but yes, this applies to our sons and our daughters. Now look, parents, moms and dads, what I'm about to give you right here is crucial. It is vital to understand and to help you practice being the parent you need to be. We should, yes, protect our children and our teenagers from sin. Yes. But we cannot hide them. We cannot isolate them from sin.

We cannot build up a wall between them and sin. We must teach them what sin is and how to deal with sin. Of course, we have to do this according to their age and their maturity, their ability, of course. And look at what God did when God placed Adam and Eve in the garden. God pointed out the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And I'm going to put all that he did in my words. He said something like this, "Adam and Eve, look, look at the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Look at that fruit." He says, "Do not eat that fruit. You can eat any fruit in the garden. I'll provide it enough for you, but do not eat that fruit.

And if you do eat that fruit, you will surely die." And notice that God did not build a wall around the tree of the knowledge of good and evil to isolate Adam and Eve from the tree. Notice that God did not build a wall around Adam and Eve to isolate them from the tree. He pointed to sin and he pointed out sin. He commanded them not to sin and he told them what would happen if they did sin. Basically, God equipped them to deal with sin properly. So the first fact here is this. We must believe in the perseverance of the saints in raising our children. Now why do I speak about sin like that? We have to equip them to know how to deal with sin.

That is part of the persevering, the persevering in the Lord. And then second, those children who are brought up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord that graduate from God and they leave the faith, actually they were never in the faith to begin with. Key verse here is this. And there are others that will support this position, 1 John 2.19. They went out from us, but they were not of us. For if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out that it might become plain, that it might become plain that they were not of us. Now let me explain that verse a little. John saying that they went out from us.

Who's the us? The believers. But they, those that went out, they were not of us. In other words, they were with us, but not of us. For if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. And notice, but they went out that it might become plain, obvious that they really were not part of us to begin with. This simply means that not everyone who is a part of the church assembly is necessarily a true member of the family of God. When someone comes to saving faith, there are results. Their faith is permanent. It is lasting. Yes, they may struggle in their faith, but they will not struggle with their faith.

They may struggle in their faith, but they persevere in their faith. So when those who are a part of the church, even our sons and daughters, when they leave, 1 John 2.19 tells us why they leave. And John tells us so that it may be plain to us. And this can be really so hard for many to accept. I get that. Understand that. Some parents say something like this, "I remember when my son professed Christ, he was so sincere. Oh, he was so serious in his faith." You might say something like this, "I remember how my daughter read her Bible every day, how she helped in the church, and she was such a fine Christian.

But look, moms and dads, the right words, the right profession, the right outward behavior for a period of time, all done with sincerity and seeming seriousness. It is not proof of true Christian faith. Persevering in the faith is proof of true Christian faith and the fruit of the Spirit being made manifest in the life as they persevere. So the second fact is this, we must understand that when our children abandon the faith, or if they abandon the faith, they were never truly in the faith to begin with. Now, why do I teach all that? This is a part of understanding, the first lesson. Saving faith is key. Otherwise, they are not in the kingdom.

And then we cover two more lessons. I'll briefly touch on these. Lesson number two, being a Spirit-filled parent is what I call the key ingredient. Now my major point here was this, as parents, we cannot evangelize our children and bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord unless we are Spirit-saturated, unless we are Spirit-controlled parents. And if we are not Spirit-controlled, we will parent in our own strength and even in our own way. Listen again to Ephesians 5.18. I'm going to read this in the Amplified. I love it.

It says, "Do not get drunk with wine, for that is wickedness." And then in parentheses, it says, "Corruption and stupidity." I like that. Getting drunk with wine is stupidity. But he goes on to say, "But be filled with the Holy Spirit," and I like how the Amplified says it, "and constantly guided by him." That's what being filled means. And look, moms and dads, do not confuse your hard work, your self-effort, and your wonderful plan at parenting your children with being Spirit-filled. Do not confuse your children being straight as an arrow with being Spirit-filled because all of those things can be done in the flesh. They can be.

And then lesson number three, knowing and understanding and submitting to God's Word, that is enough. My major point here was this. We can fall into the trap of not believing that God's Word is enough to equip us for this wonderful task of parenting our children. And some of you have fallen into that trap here. You may not have really realized it yet. The trap of not believing that God's Word is enough to equip you for the task of parenting your children. Listen again to 2 Timothy 3, verses 16 to 17. I'm going to read this in the Amplified.

"All scripture is God-breathed, given by divine inspiration, and is profitable for instruction, for conviction of sin, for correction of error in restoration to obedience, for training in righteousness, learning to live in conformity to God's will, both publicly and privately, behaving honorably with spiritual integrity and moral courage." Verse 17, "So that the man of God, the woman of God, the parent of God may be complete and proficient, outfitted and thoroughly equipped for every good work of parenting." Parents, I want to give you a little exercise here before we move on. Don't let this intimidate you. I really ask you to do it.

Search for and find and put together all of the verses in the Old Testament and New Testament that have to do with parenting. You can do it. Google will help you. Some of you have Bible programs that have search engines. You can search how many times the word "love" is used in the Bible and it will just tell you. But do that. Search for and find out all of the verses, Old Testament and New Testament, that have to do with parenting, maybe copy and paste them and put them on a document and use that for the basis of your parenting. Now some of them you might need a little help to understand how it applies. Let me give you a little tip here.

It's not as many as you may think. It's not as many as you may think. As a matter of fact, the New Testament, it's just a few. So let's continue with these other lessons, lessons 4 to 7. So lesson number 4, mutual submission. I call this the overlooked part of parenting. Mutual submission, this is the overlooked part of parenting. Now many of you will remember that we looked at mutual submission back when we were studying the roles and responsibilities of wives and husbands.

Back on May the 14th when I preached the message, lessons on the roles of wives and husbands, I called this the surprise of mutual submission because many of you have never heard of mutual submission in marriage. And you know that message and that part of the message stirred up a conversation with me and my wife. My wife made the comment that she had only heard someone speak of mutual submission in marriage one time and it was from a questionable minister. She began to say that she just discounted because she didn't think he had it right. And lo and behold, he did have it right.

Now let me refresh our memory here and then we'll read a few verses. In Ephesians 5 verses 18 to 21 Paul taught that one of the results of being filled with the Spirit is mutual submission. His command to be filled with the Spirit is seen at the second part of verse 18 and the results of being filled are in verses 19 to 21. But the problem so many make here is not seeing that the teaching of verse 21 is a part of those passages that deal with the roles and responsibilities of wives and husbands. In the original language this verb submit is found in verse 21 but there is no verb in verse 22.

In chapter 5 verse 22 all the way down to chapter 6 verses 1 to 9 it is assumed from verse 21. That is why language scholars connect verse 21 to this teaching in verse 22 and following. So here in verse 21 Paul gives the general principle of mutual submission. Remember this is the general principle of mutual submission and this principle should be applied to wives and husbands verses 22 to 33 to parents and children chapter 6 verses 1 to 4 and then we're going to see starting next week slaves to masters verses 5 to 9. Now let's look at these verses. Ephesians 5 verses 18 to 21.

Here's the negative command, "Do not get drunk with wine for that is debauchery." Just a positive command, "But be filled with or controlled by the Spirit." And here are the results addressing one another in Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs and then the next result singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart and then here's the next result giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and then the last result submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Now at this point I want to show you how this general principle of mutual submission applies to parenting.

Wives, you are to submit to your husbands in all things just like you submit to the Lord in all things. But that does not mean that you are brainless and spineless doormats. Wives, this does not mean that you are to be silent, subservient, servants. No. Husbands, you are to love and lead your wife as Christ loves and leads His church all for the purpose of sanctifying her and presenting her as spotless. But it does not stop there, the teaching. The general principle of mutual submission applies to husbands. Husbands, you are expected to submit to your wife as your helper. She is the help made in the aid that God has given you.

So you are to submit to your wife as your aid and as your helper. Now what does that mean for parenting? I'm going to get there in just a minute. But hold on to that question. What does this mean for parenting? Well there's a little more. Children, we learned that you are to obey your parents in all things as unto the Lord. And this type of submission and obedience pleases the Lord, Colossians 6.23. And dads, you are not to provoke your children to anger. You are to nurture your children and to bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord. That means that you are to lead.

You are to nurture your children physically, emotionally, and spiritually. But it does not stop there. The general principle of mutual submission applies to this relationship as well. Dads, you are expected to submit to your children in a loving, caring way. They are growing, maturing individuals in their own right. Your children have feelings. They have desires. They have needs on their own. They also have brains on their own. And in certain circumstances, yes, you should submit to them. Now what does that look like? Dads, you could be wrong about when you parent, and you sometimes are.

And if your 10-year-old or your 16-year-old points out that you are wrong, will you submit to that child or that teenager? Yeah, see how it applies? Dads, if you are 15-year-old or 17-year-old, point it out that you were provoking them to anger and your wife agrees. Would you submit to your teenager, and would you submit to your wife? And would you humble yourself and say, "You know, I need to correct that." Dads, when you sin and you blow it, because you will. I didn't say if. When you sin and when you blow it, do you repent to your children? Do you repent to your wife? Do you repent, therefore submitting to them in that repentance?

And look, church, I call this the overlooked part of parenting because so many are ignorant of this part of parenting, or they just ignore this. And they overlook it, and they miss it. And this is vital because if you do not have mutual submission, it really turns everything upside down. And look, some of you dads, you are so hard-nosed about being the leader. I mean, you cannot submit to your wife. You say, "I'm not going to submit to my wife, and I'm not going to submit to my children for anything." You are hard-nosed. You're always right. I mean, you're the man of the house, and you like to puff out your chest.

You want your wife to submit to you without question, and you want your children to submit to you without question as well. You know what you are if you are like that? You're a mini-dictator. You're not a dictator over a country. You're a dictator over your household. And if you are a mini-dictator, you are crushing your wife, you're crushing your children, and you're provoking your children to anger, and your wife too. If this is you, listen close. Your children can grow up, and they can leave your home. They can get away from your dictatorship, but your wife cannot.

Oh, she can, and she may, but if she holds true to the covenant that she made to God, she cannot. So forth, mutual submission. I call this the overlooked part of parenting. And then lesson number five, we should love our children. Lesson number five, we should love our children. Now when I say that we should love our children, you may think, "Well, pastor, that is obvious. That's a no-brainer." You may even think something like this, "I do love my children," and I'm sure you do. But no matter how well we do love our children, there are always some things that we can do better here, and I think you'll see that if you're honest.

But we may be surprised at how many professing Christians, and we may even be surprised how many true Christians do not love their children as they should. Let me explain what I mean here. Now think with me about this statement. The bedrock of God's relationship to us is love. The bedrock of our relationship to God is love. The bedrock of our relationship to others is love. Let me state that again. The bedrock of God's relationship to us, our relationship to God, and our relationship to others is love. First John 4.16 says, "God is love." That means by His very nature God is love.

We learned that when we did our study on the attributes of God. But John goes on to say, "And whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in Him." And in 1 John 4.19, John says, "We love because He first loved us." Simply, love is the bedrock of God's relationship to us, and as believers, love is the bedrock of our relationship to God, and as believers, love is the bedrock of our relationship to others. Now I want to get into some specifics. So just follow me. First, our lives should be dominated by love for God. We see this in what is called the first and the greatest commandment.

There was a religious leader one day that came to Jesus and asked Him which of the commandments was and is the greatest. Jesus replied, and I'm quoting the verse, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength." Mark 12.30. And this means that our first and our greatest obligation in our relationship to God should be that we love God with the totality of our entire being. Then second, our lives should be dominated by a love for others. We see this in what is called the second greatest commandment.

Jesus' second reply to this questioning religious leader comes right after the first. Let me read the first and the second. Jesus says, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength." And the second is like this, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these," Mark 12.30 and 31. This means that our second greatest obligation in our relationship to God should be to love our neighbors as ourselves. Basically, we are to love God more than we love ourselves, and we are to love others just as we love ourselves.

And then third, our lives should be dominated by a love for one another. We see this in what Jesus called a new commandment that he gave his disciples in John 13.34-35. Jesus explained these things by saying, "A new commandment I give you, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another." Verse 35, "By this all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another." This means that as believers who are empowered by the Holy Spirit to do so, we should love our brothers and sisters in the faith with the same love that Christ has for us.

William McDonald says that this is the true mark of a Christian. He goes on to say that the true badge of Christian discipleship is that we love our brothers and our sisters in Christ. And then fourth, our lives should be dominated even by a love for our enemies. We see this standard for love in the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus said in Matthew 5.44, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Here Jesus takes love to another level. He says that we are to love God more than ourselves. We are to love others as ourselves.

And then on top of that, he says that we are to love our enemies and even those who persecute us and notice this does not come out of our emotions. This is an act of the will. Now take a step back from those things and notice what I have given us. This is the true Christian faith in its entirety. Love for God and love for others is the true Christian faith in its entirety. Jesus said that all of the law of the prophets depend on these two or hang on those two. Love for God and love for others. And just like I said before, love is the bedrock of all of these things.

And church moms and dads, we can love this way only if we are truly born again Christian and only if we are controlled by the spirit. As a matter of fact, Galatians 5.22 says that the fruit of the spirit is first love. The fruit of the spirit in our life is first love. And my question here is this. Do you have this kind of love in you and coming out of you? Do you have this kind of love in you and coming out of you? If you are saturated and controlled by the spirit, you will have a God-sized love for God and for others manifesting itself in your life. You will have the fruit of love in your life and coming out of your life.

And with all of that said, I take up the command that Paul gave the Corinthians in regards to how you parent your children. First Corinthians 16.4 says, "Let all that you do be done in love." And I added that by saying this, dads, moms, especially you dads, let all that you do in your relationship to your children be done in love. Let all that you do and how you parent your children be done in love. My parents, we need a little healthy evaluation here. A few probing questions may help you, nudge you, push you. Do you have this kind of loving relationship with your children, with your teenagers, with your sons and your daughters? Do you?

Are you at a place where you really don't want to be around them? Is all that you are doing in your parenting, is it coming out of this kind of love that you have for your children? Think about that. There is all that you are doing in your parenting coming out of a love for self. Do your parent out of a love for self. And I'm going to get to some things that will help you see if you are. Now here is where I want you to turn to First Corinthians chapter 13. Many of you know this chapter. This is the great love chapter. I'm not going to read all of it. But it's rather short. Let's read the verses, just verses 1-3.

Paul says to the Corinthian church, the Corinthian Christians, he says, "If I," of course he's the great apostle, "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but I have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all that I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing." Now right here in these familiar verses, I want to take some liberty. I want to offer up to you my Pastor Chris Parenting Paraphrase Version.

Now if that bothers you, I apologize, but I think this will help us more than you know. If I speak to my children with the words of great men and even with the words of angels, but I do not love my children, then I am a noisy gong and a clanging cymbal. I am just an annoying loud noise to my children. If I have the gifts to teach God's Word with great and effective power, if I have the ability to interpret the most difficult things in the Scriptures with great clarity and knowledge, even if I have a great faith to do great things for God, but I have no love for my children and my teenagers, I am nothing.

If I make great sacrifices for the church, for others, and even for my family, even if I sacrifice my body like one of the great martyrs of the faith, but I have no love for my children and my family, I gain nothing. So the fourth lesson, mutual submission, is the overlooked part of parenting, and then fifth, we must love our children. And you need that more than you know. I conclude by asking, "Are you loving your children as you should?" Now these last two lessons will be much shorter, and they will finish out the lessons I think well. Again, I said earlier, I think these are in the right order.

Now the sixth lesson is very practical, and the seventh is very spiritual. So lesson number six, they, this would be your children. They are not your project, and they are not your trophy. They are not your project, and they are not your trophy. Now here's where I want us to turn back to Ephesians here in a moment, Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4, and we're going to read those verses here in a minute. But just a few weeks ago, we divided verse 4 in what I call the responsibilities of parents to children. Now it was primarily to fathers, but to mothers as well. And in this message we saw that Paul gave two commands to fathers.

The first it was and is negative, and the second it is positive. So let's read the verse. Fathers and mothers, primarily fathers, Paul says, do not provoke your children to anger or wrath, but bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord. We know the verse. Now here, my observation in the verse is quite simple. Paul instructs fathers and mothers, but primarily fathers. The father is what I call the main character here with the mother right behind. But at the center of these instructions are the children. You see? Fathers do not provoke your children. Fathers make sure you bring up and you nurture your children.

Are they the object of the discipline and the instruction of the Lord? Paul saying fathers, make sure you bring up and nurture your children. So the ones who are at the center of these instructions are children, boys, girls, younger children, younger boys, older boys, teenagers. Do you see it? Now here's my point. Your children are not your project. Your boys and your girls are not your trophy. They are not your ministry project or your ministry trophy, moms and dads.

Your children are little boys and little girls, even older children, and they are one of a kind individuals created by God, and it is your responsibility to bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord in such a way that they become just like you want them to be. You are to bring them up in the instruction and the discipline of the Lord so that they become a second version of who you are, even a better version of who you are. You are to bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord so that they will become all the things that you always wanted to be and hope to be.

Are you to bring them up according to what you learn at a conference? Are you to bring them up to become the person that you see in a book? Are you to bring them up according to what some expert says they should be? No. And look, parents do this all the time. Parents do it with sports pretty bad. You know, you got a dad who always wanted to be good at sports, wanted to play baseball, wanted to play football, and you let his son show a little bit of athletic ability, and oh, he will be living out his dreams through that little boy. He will be getting a scholarship to LSU or Alabama or Auburn tomorrow. But they are not your trophy.

And if they have no athletic ability and you try to do that to them, you will crush them. I see parents try to do this with academics. I mean, they want their sons, they want their daughters to make all A's, all A's, all A's, all A's, and you know they might not have that ability. I got in trouble one time when I said I wanted my children to do the best they could in school. It didn't matter if it was all A's, I want them to do their best. And if a B is their best, that was enough. I almost got lynched. It's like parents say, "Don't say that to my kids." But parents do this.

They do this with academics, and sometimes they crush their children. They do this with education. They want them to become a lawyer or a doctor or a schoolteacher. They want them to become a pharmacist. They want them to become something that they never could be. And they do that with a career and they end up crushing their child. Sometimes parents do this with Christianity. Yeah, and this is the worst. Moms and dads try to make their sons and their daughters little trophy Christians. They are their religious project. And look, moms and dads, your sons and your daughters are unique individuals created by God.

And it is your responsibility to bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord in such a way that they become who God wants them to be, not what you want them to be and not what others want them to be. You really might want them to be the president of the ditch digging company, but they might just be a ditch digger. You may even want them to stay home and take care of you when you get old, but God might call them to go to a foreign land. See, I say this from time to time. They're not yours. They're God's. And just like you can interfere with God in evangelism, you can interfere with God in how you raise them up.

And of course, they cannot become who God wants them to be unless they come to saving faith. That's why that starts. That's why that's lesson number one. And look, in my opinion, moms and dads, one of the greatest sins you can commit against your children is when you do this with the Christian faith. You make your children your religious project, your trophy. Oh, you make them do Bible drill, but you don't make them do Bible drill to put God's word in their mind. You make them do Bible drill so you'll be proud when they stand up there and get the ribbon. Oh, you want them to know scripture.

You want them to quote that scripture, but you really do that for you because when they quote scripture in the little boys class, the moms and dads come and brag on you. I've seen parents, they're just so proud that their little sons and little girls understand doctrine and theology. And look, they want them to understand that doctrine and theology so people can brag on them. I've seen moms and dads just force their children to dress a certain way. Now we should dress godly. Let me finish. We should dress godly. But I've seen moms and dads force their children to dress a certain way and exasperate them all day long.

And they do that so that others will brag on what their little boys and girls look like. And I have seen moms and dads try to create these little trophies where their sons and their daughters live in such a way and they just sit back and they glow and they do all of that for self. That will exasperate your son, your daughter to anger and they will hate you for it and they might even run from the faith because of you if they're not truly converted. So forth, the mutual submission is the overlooked part of parenting. Fifth, we must love our children. Sixth, your children are not your project or your trophy.

And then lesson number seven, our children were created for God's glory, not ours. Our children were created for God's glory, not ours. From time to time I have said that our families and our children are not our own. I said it earlier. Simply it all belongs to God. The spouse we have. She came from God. She came from God. The family we have, it all comes from God. The children we have, they come from God. All of these things are gifts from God and they belong to God and we are responsible for these things. They're just long to us.

And as fathers and mothers, God has purposely given us the children we have that we should bring them up for God, instilling in them that they were created by God and for the glory of God. Paul tells us how we should do this in 1 Corinthians 10.31. He says whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. That means that the way we parent should bring glory to God and that we should instill in our children that they were created by God and that they were to live a life for the glory of God. How they live should bring glory to God and the life they live should be lived for the glory of God.

I was looking at Spurgeon's Catechism this week. Some of you know what a catechism is. I'm not against a catechism. I think they're great. It's a great way to teach your children. A catechism is simply verbal instruction used most of the time with children, question and answers. But no matter what catechism you look at, most all the time the first question is the same. Question number one reads in Spurgeon's Catechism, "What is the chief end of man?" What is the chief end of man? That simply means what is man's purpose? Is number one job at the top of the list? The answer is this. Man's chief end is to glorify God.

First Corinthians 10.31, "And to enjoy him forever." That would be in heaven. Psalm 73.25-26. Now moms and dads, especially you dads, and all that we do is parents and parenting for the Lord. The most important thing we can do is instill in our sons and our daughters that they were created to glorify God, not just in how they live, but in the purpose of their entire life. The three most important things we could pray for our children are these. First, that they would come to saving faith. Second, that they would marry the spouse that God has for them. Oh, there's another sermon.

God might have a spouse for your son or your daughter that you might not choose. And then third, that they would discover and live God's purpose for their life, therefore bringing glory to God in their life and with their life. Folks, I was a hopeless, wandering ship on the water without a sail until number one, God saved me, and then God showed me what my purpose in life was. And when God showed me what my purpose in life was, oh, I shifted from second gear to fifth. So, seven lessons for parents, parenting their children in the Lord. Now I have one more thing to say before we close. One, teenagers, I've been talking a lot about you.

If you're not converted to Christ, come to Christ. Come to Christ. Now some of you have come to Christ, whether you're a child or a teenager, some of you have come to Christ. Now some of you teenagers, you're waffling. Listen to me real quick. You're waffling. You're not running hard after Christ. You need to run hard after Christ and holiness and God to living, and you should be on your knees every day, multiple times a day saying, "God, what did you create me for?

You tell me what you created me for and I'll do it." You are created to live a life in such a way that brings glory to God, and ultimately your purpose in life should be to glorify God from the beginning to the end. Now as I close, I want to clue you in on something. And all that we have studied from Ephesians verse 21 to verse 22 to 23 and Ephesians 6, all that we've studied in these seven lessons, fathers and mothers, you have all that you need to parent well. Yes. If you do these things in a local church that sees these things biblically, we do.

If you do these things among brothers and sisters in Christ who are doing the same thing, that's what we're all striving to do. And if you do these things with a pastor and with elders and other church leaders who teach the word, who pastor you well, and we do these things. So what I'm showing you is this, as I close, you are right where God wants you to be, right where God wants you to be. So let's roll up our sleeves and get busy and busier doing this work. Let's pray.