A Wonderful Wife part 3 - The Proverbs 31 Woman

Let's take our Bibles. Let's turn to Proverbs chapter 31. Proverbs chapter 31, we're going to be in verses 23 to 31. And I'm going to reference a couple of other verses earlier in this chapter that we have covered. And I think everybody knows that tonight we're going to finish up the chapter and we're going to finish up the book. All right. I was curious today and I went back and I looked at some of my information. We have been in Proverbs off and on because we do take some breaks. We've been in Proverbs off and on since August the 7th of 2019. And that was before we moved.

And some of you were at the old facility and you remember when we started and some of you are a little newer. But we've been here for quite a while. And I just thought about three areas of life where Proverbs has been very impactful. Three areas where I guess it relates to us. It has been very practical. I've said this two or three times. If you're looking for a self-help book, Proverbs is the closest thing you're going to find. Okay. It's just practical information. If you're having trouble with children, get into the Proverbs. I mean, there's a whole host of regular life that this applies to. And I've had a lot of affirmation.

I've had lots of affirmation from you. I'll give you an example. Quite a few weeks ago, I was teaching through some of those verses maybe in Chapter 28 or 29. And I really just I didn't know if it was connecting. I don't know. It was about arguing with the fool, dealing with the fool. And I had somebody march up to me right after the service and said, that's exactly what I dealt with today. Thank you. And they said, I handled it right. But you affirm that. And I said, well, okay. And I have been affirmed a lot through this time that we've been together. But I also thought about how it applies to our future.

There are going to be some times when we'll come back to some things in Proverbs in the future. And I could go on with that, but I just thought that that might speak to us. It's real practical. You have been very affirming. I appreciate that. And we will touch on some of this in the future. Now, tonight we're going to finish up this time when we have been examining Proverbs, Chapter 31. This is the Proverbs 31 woman. We know her well. I have called her the marvelous mother and we looked at verses 1 to 9, the marvelous mother. And then I have called her the marvelous or the wonderful wife, the wonderful wife.

And that's seen in verses 10 to 31. I know that I picked up those titles somewhere in some of my study. So I can't say that those titles, the marvelous mother, the wonderful wife came from me. And you might run across that in some of your own study. Now, I have really sought to work hard to elevate this chapter. I really worked hard to try to esteem this chapter in the put it in a very significant place in our hearts and in our lives and in our minds. I've used a couple of illustrations to help us here. I have called this chapter the Mount Rushmore of biblical teaching for women. Some of you know what Mount Rushmore is.

It is one of our most famous monuments in our land. It's a tribute to our nation and it is a tribute to our democracy. And the monument Mount Rushmore honors three presidents, Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt and Lincoln. It's in a particular order. They're not in a particular order that maybe you would think go back and look at that piece of information. And it's there to honor them in their great contribution to our nation. And it is seen by many as and I ran across this statement in study a shrine for our or to our democracy. Many esteem a place like Mount Rushmore is even sacred or kind of this hallowed ground.

I think you know what I mean by that. I've also called this chapter the Mona Lisa of biblical teaching for women. The Mona Lisa is considered the most valuable, the most famous portrait in the world. The painting is famous because of who painted it. Very well known figure in history, Leonardo da Vinci for many reasons. But it is also famous because of the style of the painting and the mysterious really unknown subject of the painting. Art critics, experts and many others consider the Mona Lisa to be the most beautiful painting or portrait in the world. Now that could be up to debate for you. And that's what we have here.

Proverbs 31 from beginning to end. Proverbs 31 is a monument to the biblical wife and the biblical mother. Proverbs 31 is a beautiful portrait of what a biblical wife and mother should be. And it should be esteemed in our lives. And all of God's people should come to this monument to biblical womanhood regularly. All of us have got as God's people should regularly gaze at the beauty of this wonderful wife and marvelous mother. I have tried to use our imagination. You know, imagine with me what it would be like to have Bathsheba, which we believe this did come from Bathsheba, obviously from the Lord is Solomon. Pin these words.

Imagine what it would be like to have Bathsheba in our homes, whispering in our ears and our cars because I believe this this teaching is just full of this particular woman. And you know, sometimes we take teaching like this and we we deal with it in a different way. I think I mentioned this last week. I have had some people in the life of the church make comments like, well, this would be Proverbs 32. In other words, it's outside of the scripture. And then sometimes I've heard some of you ladies say, well, this is Proverbs 31. And it's been abbreviated me and one of them in earlier.

We're talking about P 31 P 32 biblical or unbiblical that helps it stick in our minds. And if we know it, we'll know what's biblical and what is it is what is not. So hopefully that part of the teaching has helped it stick into your mind. Now, let me real quickly share with you what we've studied. This is not going to be on the screens. So you can just listen. We started off with her wonderful marriage in verses 10 to 12, her wonderful marriage in verses 10 to 12. And then we looked at her wonderful work ethic in verses 13 and 19. We really looked at her wonderful work ethic two weeks and we're going to look at it again two weeks.

And there's a reason why it's in here so much. Then we looked at her wonderful compassion last week out of verse 20. And then we looked at her what I call her wonderful resilience in verses 21 to 22. And we're just picking up where we left off. We're just picking up where we left off. We have the same title. It's just the Proverbs 31 woman, a wonderful wife, part three. Now we're going to examine several more characteristics about this wonderful wife. I'll go ahead and tell you we're going to look at five tonight, but some of them are going to be a lot shorter. So don't panic. We're going to get out on time.

And we won't be too terribly fast, but we're going to wrap this up tonight. So I want us to see I'm calling it number five because we're just continuing with the same outline. I'm calling this number five, her wonderful influence, her wonderful influence. Now we've not read the verses. We're going to read them as we progress. Look at number or verse 23. Look at verse 23. Her husband is known at the gates and he sits among the elders of the land. In verse 23, she's not mentioned, but yet she is. She's not in the verse, but yet she is. Here we see that her husband is a fixture in the community.

You might not know this, but the city gates, that was a place where town leaders met for civil business and even religious business. And a lot of business would have been conducted at the city gates. If you go look at how Boaz redeemed Ruth, he ultimately took that transaction. It was legal and spiritual to the city gates, to the elders. And here we see that her husband is at the city gates meeting with the elders of the leaders of the town. And again, she's not there, but yet she is. It seems that her influence is there behind the scenes. We saw this before in verse 12, that the wonderful wife did her husband good. I said it numerous times.

It was all gain and no shame. She brought nothing but gain, no shame to her husband. And that is what we have here. Verse 11 says this husband trusts his wife. He trusts her with the credit card. He trusts her when she is around men, maybe in the marketplace. Again, no shame, only gain. Here in verse 23, there's another layer. Her influence goes beyond trust with money and goes beyond trust with men. It goes beyond trust even in the home. Here we see that the wonderful wife takes such good care of the home and the children that her husband can devote himself to life outside of the home with no worries or concerns about the home.

Her husband can be involved in public affairs because his wonderful wife has the home in such order because she has made home life so solid. Simply, this wonderful wife made a great, great contribution to her husband's influence and position in the community. Her domestic success, let me use that term again. Her domestic success made his advancement and success outside of the home possible. That's what we see in the verse. Now, some questions here in application. Ladies, are you so home centered? Are you home centered in such a way so that your husband can advance himself?

Are you home centered in such a way where your husband can advance himself in his career? Do you work hard with the children and with the home life, even with money in the home, so that your husband can be all that he wants to be in his job and in the community? I'm going to come back to that. Men, do you want your wife to keep the home and the children so you can advance your career and make money for yourself? Or do you want your wife to do better at home for you and for selfish reasons? Do you want all of these things to better your family and your children? See, is it for selfish reasons or not? What's the motive behind it all?

And we must ask ourselves these questions. I have given you examples before. I speak about examples. I try to do that. It helps us understand. I can remember one time a man called, and he called me, and he was seeking some pastoral advice about a promotion at work. And he began to talk about his current job and the promotion and how things would change. And I would just listen and I would ask questions. And I would purposefully bring that conversation back to a certain place. I would let him continue to talk, and I would bring it back to a place. And I checked him all along the way, even without him knowing.

And it always came back to one or two reasons why he wanted to take the promotion. It would help his family. It would help his family. It would help his children. It would be better for his family. And then ultimately he would say, and he could be more faithful to the life of the church. You see, this is her influence. And I'm giving you an example of a man, but this shows us the motive behind it all. We need to ask questions here. Well, let's move on. I want us to see number six. We see her wonderful work ethic. I have it continued because he is continuing. Solomon is continuing with this wonderful work ethic. Look at verse 24.

She makes linen garments and sells them. She delivers sashes to the merchant. And you might say more on the work ethic. We dealt with the work ethic twice, I know. But we need to see that all of these domestic duties are important. And we need to see that all of these domestic duties and this work ethic really does matter. Now, why did not just skip over it? Why didn't I just move on because we've covered this work ethic already? We need to see that God inspired Solomon to write these verses. God wants us to see her work ethic over and over and over and over for a purpose.

Now, I'm going to go back real quickly and summarize all that we've seen with her work ethic. Listen close. She is working hard to provide clothes and food for her family. We saw that in verses 13 to 14. She is up before daylight working in verse 15. She works hard in business outside of the home, but that business is for the home in verse 16. She works late into the night in verse 18. She works to provide for her family during the winter season. Remember, that was a difficult time. That was in verse 20 and 22. She works hard to sell her goods in the market. We see that in verse 18 and in verse 24. Simply, this woman is a hard worker.

She is strong, verse 17 says, and she uses her strength well. Now, I thought about some other insights, and I will go through this rather quickly. First, her heart in her work was home centered. It wasn't selfishness. It was for the home. Second, her work benefited her husband. It benefited her husband and her children and her home. And then third, her work made her husband be better, a better man, a better husband. We've seen better even in the community. Her work helped her family and her home financially. She contributed financially, and her work contributed to her godliness. And we're going to deal with her godliness as we continue.

There's no way around it. Everything she did made her more godly and her family more godly. Now, an application. We just need to see that God hates laziness. We've dealt with laziness all through the Proverbs. The fool was lazy, but yet the wise man worked hard. God hates laziness, and he does not like idleness. We're going to deal with idleness here in a minute. Whether it's in men or women, whether it's with the husband or the wife. But the wonderful wife was not at home watching the soap operas while her husband was out working. The wonderful wife was using her spare time to help the family, not to hurt the family.

The wonderful wife expected her husband to excel outside of the home because she excelled inside the home. And everything was for the good of the family. Ladies, do you expect your husband to be your helpmate? I can't tell you how many times I've counseled families, couples, and I've seen this out of order here. Lots of times ladies will expect their husband to be their helpmate. Do you expect him to be some kind of a second mother? He can never fulfill your role, and you can never fulfill his. And men, do you expect your wife to be domestic so you can be out playing? Do you want your wife to work and to contribute so that you can do less?

I can't tell you how many times I have seen that. Men really don't want to work, but yet they want their wife to work. Now, do we have times for vacation? Yes. Do we need a day off? Yes. Is it okay to have recreation in our life? Yes. We need to always approach this kind of stuff with balance. Because ultimately there's always somebody that will get out of balance here. And listen, they'll take this and it'll be all about love, never about love. So what do we see? This wonderful work ethic in this wonderful wife, the marvelous mother. Number seven, I want us to see her wonderful character. Verse 25 on down to verse 27.

"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." And then verse 27, "She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." There's that idleness that I mentioned earlier. Here we see three verses and everything here speaks to her character. There are several things that Solomon points out here, and they really just come right out of the verses. First, this is what I'm calling her inward clothing. First, we see her inward clothing, verse 25.

"Strength and dignity are her clothing." And we've already seen that this wonderful wife, this marvelous mother is strong. But here in verse 25, this is at physical strength. This is strength of character, inner strength. Now, just like clothes cover the body, clothes decorate the body, this woman is clothed with emotional and spiritual strength. She laughs at the times to come. That just means that she trusts God and she trusts her husband. She trusts her husband and she trusts God. There's no panic in her. She is strong emotionally and spiritually.

She would say something just like this, "No matter what comes, the joy of the Lord is my strength." I'll never forget years ago when I was first converted to Christ, my home church pastor, I heard his wife, Miss Vicki, giving a testimony, and she was talking about the great joy that she had in trusting her husband. And she was expressing some of the very same inward clothing here that we see here. But then notice she is clothed with more than strength. She's clothed with dignity. She is clothed with dignity. She possesses dignity. This word, dignity, speaks about honor and even splendor. It's almost like an ornament.

It's almost like a decoration if you look at the original language. I thought about an example that we could relate to. It's Christmas. We decorate our homes with Christmas decoration. And a Christmas decoration could be in a particular place of honor. It could be expensive. It could have been something that was passed down from your mother or your grandmother. And see, it is honored and it is meant to decorate. Well, that's the way it is with a marvelous mother. She's clothed. Her life is decorated with emotional and spiritual strength. She is clothed with dignity and honor. She just has a way about her. We see honor in her.

We see dignity in her. Not hawniness, not pride, no. But there is a way with her. Then second, her outward speech. Verse 26. She opens her mouth with wisdom. And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Now think with me here. Here we see that this wonderful wife is a gossip. She opens her mouth to slander folks. When she talks, she puts others down and she points out their faults. She criticizes her husband and she berates the kids. When she talks to her mother on the telephone and talks to others on the phone like her friends, she's always criticizing her husband for everything and complaining about her life. No. That's not her. Listen.

She opens her mouth to speak God's wisdom. And the wisdom of God and his word applied in the life. She opens her mouth with kindness and mercy and godliness. And then third, we see her homeward priority. I'm going to go back and read all of the verses. Verse 25. Strength and dignity are her clothing. She laughs at the times to come. There's joy. No panic. She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. In verse 27, she looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Here we see her heart where it's fixed. It's fixed on the home. She works hard to manage the home. She's not idle.

She's not lazy. She works hard at that which she loves. She loves her husband. She loves her children. She loves her home. And she's home soonened. One writer, commentator said it like this, and I'm quoting, "She keeps in close touch with the affairs of her household and does not waste time or energy in shallow, unproductive activity." Really, we see a lot of good stuff here. Three sides, three aspects to her character. She is adorned. And then we see how she talks and her priority. We see what her life is adorned with, how she talks. She's not clothed with skimpy clothes. And her mouth does not spew gossip or criticism.

She does not blow her husband's money while he's off at work. The house is not a wreck and the kids are not wild and out of control. There's order in the home and the husband and the children in the home does not suffer. What do we see? There's so much here. Now, a couple of questions and application. Ladies, how is your life adorned? What is your inward clothing? You see? What about your speech when you speak to people, when you speak about people, when you speak in private or public? What is your life decorated with? How do you speak? And where is your priority? Is your priority about your home, your husband, your children? You see?

This is her character. This is who she is. I've said this numerous times, reputation is what others say, but character is what God says about you. So what do we see? Her wonderful character. And then number five, or excuse me, number eight, I want us to see her wonderful family life, verse 28 and 29. "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." Let me back up, excuse me, verse 28. "Her children rise up and call her blessed or blessed. Her husband also any praises her. Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." Really, in a way, for the first time, we hear from the husband and we hear from the children.

We hear how they feel about their wife and how they feel about their mother or how he feels about his wife. In many ways, these two verses describe the entire family and the family life. This is a good indicator of the health, the spiritual well-being of the family and the family life. First, look at her children, verse 28. "Her children rise up and call her blessed." We have seen that she has earned the respect of her husband, haven't we? Even the respect of the community. She has a great reputation, but here it's different. By this point, she has earned the honor and the praise and the respect of her children. I thought about it like this.

Maybe, this is just my imagination, maybe they've grown up to the point where they can understand these things. Maybe they are adults now and they understand the value of the godly mother that they've had all along. But no matter the age, these children step up and they praise their mother for who she's been and for what she is. They praise her for all that she's done. And then second, her husband. Again, verse 28. "Her husband also, and he praises her." We have seen already that her husband trusts her. We know that he respects her. Again, my imagination.

While he is at the city gate conducting that business and when other men are there and they are discussing his wife, he definitely honors and he respects her. But here it seems that he chimes in with his children and he praises his wife. But then third, look at her honor. So we see first from her children, then from her husband, and then third, her honor. Verse 29, "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." Here we see the marvelous mother, the wonderful wife is honored and she is compared to many, but she is exalted. Here it seems that her husband says something like this.

"Sure, there are many good wives and mothers out there, but you are better than them all." I don't have this in my notes, but men, do we ever compliment our wives like this? Ladies, do you conduct business and are you the type of lady and wife and godly mother where your husband could say something like this? So what do we see? This is really reflective of her family life. We see the heart of her family as they discuss their mother. Maybe the children are older. Maybe they are grown and they have their own families, but both children and husband praise their mother. They exalt her higher than all others, no matter what.

And you know, really, this goes for ladies and men. This goes for mothers and dads. And here's a question of application. What would your children and what would your spouse say about you? This is all home centered. Men, what would your wife say about you? What would you say about your wife? Our children get older. What will our children say about us? When they're five, six, eight, nine, ten, there are certain things they can see and say, but when they're adults, this reminds me of a minister who passed away. I wasn't there, but I heard the story. This man was a Baptist minister.

He passed away and, you know, they had a big funeral and family were there, was there, and all types of, you know, church folks were there, and people who had known the minister for years were there. And you know, they had the big funeral, and then after the funeral, you know, everybody went to the fellowship hall and they fed the family. And I wasn't there, but I have a friend that was there.

And after everything was said and done, they were sitting at the table, and my friend said that his daughter spoke up, didn't introduce the comment one bit, just spoke up and said, "I wished I would have known that man." I said, "You could have heard a pin drop." Because, see, she was saying, "I didn't know the man they were talking about in the service." So what do our children say about us? When they're grown, it's too late. You got what you got. You see? Wives, what do our husbands say about you? Men, what do our wives say about us? You see? It's a wonderful family, and we see their testimonies. Do we not? Let me continue on.

The last truth here that we're going to look at, her wonderful spiritual life, verses 30 and 31. "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates." There's a shift here. I do believe this is Solomon, but the writer adds to what the husband and the children have said about the mother and the wife. And here we have a summary of her spiritual life. We have a summary. But you know, I thought about it like this. What do you put on a tombstone? It's called an epitaph, a summary of one's life. I was at a funeral one time.

A funeral took you to the graveside. And you know when you're at a graveside, you get to walk by all of the different tombstones. And there was a tombstone there, and it had a little picture. It had a deer and a deer stand, and it had a little saying something like, "Papaw's deer hunting in heaven." There's a lot of things that were wrong with that. An epitaph. But you know, we put on the tombstone, what? A summary of one's life. Well, here, that's what we have. We have a summary of our life. First, I believe this is Solomon. He describes her most valuable characteristic, godliness. Look at the verse.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." He does not praise her charm. He does not praise her beauty. That can be sinful and prideful. He says her best characteristic is godliness. I never forget years ago, years ago in ministry, I got in a situation where I was dealing with a divorce, and you had this one family that was divorcing, and you had this other family that was divorcing, and they were connected. They were connected. Ultimately, one married the other. You get what I'm saying?

And I counseled, and I helped, and I corrected, and I rebuked, and I never forget one of the men was talking about how godly this woman was, how godly this woman was, how God, talking about her beauty and her charm, she came from the right family and had the right money, but all of that was sinful, because at the heart of it, her greatest characteristic wasn't godliness. And people were fooled by all of that other stuff. But then second, he describes her most valuable proof, this most valuable proof of her godliness. Look at the verse.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Here's the proof of her godliness. "Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates." He gives the proof or the evidence to back up all of these claims. The fruit of her hands, her works, all that she's done, all that she has built in her family is proof. This is truly a godly woman because the proof of her life. Now I question, does this woman need an epitaph at her funeral? No. She does not need a tombstone. She doesn't need it because her works speak for her. All that she has built speaks for her.

Her works are proof of who she truly is. And notice what we see right here. Her spiritual life, charm, and beauty are not the most valuable characteristic. It's godliness, and her works prove that reality. She needs no one to prop her up. She needs no one to make an excuse. I've been at funerals where people cover up and prop up. It doesn't add up. She doesn't need that. She's the marvelous mother and the wonderful wife, and her lifetime work proves to be the case. So for you and for me, what will be our epitaph? Ladies, dealing with ladies, what will be your epitaph? Will it be your lifetime work?

When we have your funeral, or you're at your funeral, and your children are there, family are there, what will they say? Will it be about your children, about your home, about your husband, you see? Listen, ladies, let me tell you what it all should be about. When you boil it all down, ladies, this is what it should be about for you. You should be pouring your life into your husband and your children. You should be home-centered, pouring your life into your home, and then ultimately we know where we are. We're in the age of the church. We should be pouring our life into the church.

And one day your children will be grown, and they leave the nest, and then you'll be able to do more in the life of the church. It should be all about the church. And so what will they say at the end of our life? Will people have to make up excuses? Will they have to prop us up? Will they tell little white lies at your funeral? Or will your works and the way you've lived speak volumes? Now, move away from the verses as I begin to conclude. I want us to see that we really need to study this chapter more. We need to study it more often.

I'm going to be honest with you, as a preacher, a minister, a pastor, your pastor, through these weeks of study I've seen, "Well, we need to revisit this more." There will be times when you'll hear this more. This will be reworked. It will be condensed. Even places will be expanded. We just need to get this, corporately and also privately. But think about our Mona Lisa. Experts have studied the Mona Lisa for generations. They know the type of wood that it's painted on. They know the types of paints that were used. They know the layers of paints. They know the background of the painting.

They know the clothes of the subject, even the details in the painting, such as her hands. They have studied her hair in the subtle yet distinctive smile of this woman. Experts know this painting in really an unbelievable way. But you know, the experts even know about all the copies that exist. There are at least a dozen excellent replicas of the Mona Lisa that are known to exist. And one, one is believed to have been painted during the time when Leonardo da Vinci was painting the Mona Lisa in his studio. And they believe there is one known copy of one of his students that he painted while Leonardo da Vinci was painting the real thing.

Now, what's my point? We must know this teaching like the experts know the Mona Lisa. We must even know when we come across cheap copies. People come into the life of the church and they're cheap copies. Even the good copies. Men, ladies, we should all know this. All women should know it. Everybody in the life of the church should know this teaching. We must know every detail about this wonderful, wonderful wife and this marvelous mother. Now, I really want to close tonight by some things, with some things that I shared when we started. I went back and looked at some of my introductory material.

And there's really a lot more that I would have liked to have shared, but because of time, I just condensed it to a couple. First of all, we can't be a wise fool. That's contradictory, I know. Remember I talked about Solomon being the wisest fool that ever lived? He was the wisest man that ever lived, but how did he live his life? Ultimately, he became a fool. He contradicted much of his own teaching. He fell for all the women. He fell for all types of immorality. And at the end of his life, he said it's all vanity. He was a wise fool, a foolish wise man.

Let's don't be like Solomon after we hear what God's word says, after we study it, don't go out and make the same mistakes. Let's be doers of what we have learned. And then the second thing is this. Don't let this head start get past you. Let me explain what I mean. I've given you a head start here. I've not gone over a lot of this because you need to. We didn't go verse by verse through Proverbs. I pushed you towards lots of other teaching. I encouraged you to study and learn on your own. I encouraged you to develop your own way. And what I'm showing you is this, is I've given you a head start here.

I've given you a taste of what this book is like. Don't let it get past you. This text messaging a friend of mine last night and this morning, and he was talking about his own personal method of studying the book of Proverbs. And then third, work hard to grow in wisdom. How do you work hard to grow in wisdom by studying God's word and letting God the Holy Spirit apply it in your life? You will not have godly wisdom outside of God's word. And then fourth, develop your own plan. Develop your own way. Develop your own way of studying this book. You've got to come up with a way where you come through it on a regular basis.

I taught with a friend of mine earlier in the week, excuse me, last week, who said about every two or three months he goes through the Proverbs. Every two or three months he goes through. Develop your own plan so that we can gain so much wisdom, not just from Proverbs 31, but from the book itself.