Anger and Arguments - Words and Wrath

If you would take your Bible and turn back to Proverbs chapter 29, I say turn back because I did read verse 18 earlier, maybe you went ahead and turned there. I have heard some of you say sometimes you anticipate where I am going to go. We've had two messages, one out of chapter 28 and one in chapter 29 that dealt with the same theme. I think some of you might have been surprised at what we looked at. We looked at what I called insights into our political landscape. I've heard some good things from some of you on some of these matters. Some of you said that this was insightful. A couple of you said that this was helpful.

And I think in some of my discussion just sharing, I just explained that this did shed a little light. It shed a little light on what we see going on today. And you know what reminds me? There's nothing new under the sun, whether it be truth or even sin and evil. All of these things that we see going on in our culture have gone on before. Well tonight we are shifting. We're still in chapter 29, but we are shifting to some very practical and much needed teaching which centers around Christian behavior. Now if you've been here in Proverbs for a while, we have. You know that Proverbs is about wisdom for Christian living.

So this is all about Christian living, Christian behavior. I have said it before. This is the closest thing to a self-help book that we have. This is real practical. And what we're looking at tonight is centered around Christian behavior. And you know as we live the Christian life, we must behave the way the Lord wants us to behave. You know we can't act like folks in the world. We just can't. We can't act like our lost neighbors and friends, even our lost family members. We can't behave. We can't let our behavior be shaped by the world and the culture. I thought about it like this. You know we have children and we're raising our children.

We have standards of behavior for our children. You know we start even small and then as they get older we have those standards. And as they get older they'll come and they'll say, "Well my friends can do this." Or "My friends over here can do this. The Jones can do this." And we start saying, "No, everybody else might do it, but we won't. The Jones might do it, but the shepherds won't." You've heard that phrase before. You know if everybody jumped off a cliff you'd want to jump off a cliff too. What am I showing you? We have standards of behavior in our families. And we have to have standards of behavior as Christians.

Now I want you to think about an observation with me, okay? This is an incomplete observation. You could probably add to it. But think about this observation with me. In our day and in our time everyone seems to have very strong opinions and they are very vocal about those opinions. In our day people are very quick to react. Many are very vocal and they can be even very polarizing in their opinions and in their positions. Isn't that the case? I give you an institutional example. I have a friend of mine who works for a particular educational institution.

And you know when all of this Black Lives Matter stuff started sweeping the land, they were slow in putting out a response or a position. They were slow in coming out with a statement about how they as an educational institution see the Black Lives Matter movement. And I'm telling you there were students who had been involved in that educational institution blasting them day after day after day. Why? Because they didn't come out with a position. They didn't come out with a statement. And those young people had positions and opinions and they were very, very loud.

I give you another institutional example but it does fit individuals in a way in which we can relate. I'm going to tell you a story about a church. I was in a meeting a few weeks ago with some ministers and there was a church or two there that were telling us, fellow ministers, how they had people in their congregations who felt very strongly about some changes in our culture. We live in the state of Mississippi. We're looking at a Mississippi state flag change and they were talking about how people in the church had very strong opinions about the flag and the Confederate statues.

And it was obvious that it spilled out into the pews and it was dominating the conversation and it was very heated. You see what I mean? Very strong opinions, very strong feelings, very quick to react, very vocal and really very polarizing. I believe that it is safe to say that really this behavior has become the norm. It's normal today to be very vocal about how you feel in our day. It's normal for people to be very quick to react and it's very normal for people to be very vocal, very polarizing about how they feel. We might not like it but it has become the norm. A couple of places that you might relate to. News outlets.

How do we see news outlets in social media today? Do they fit that description that we've just looked at? I think about politicians today. Do they fit that description that we just looked at? What about famous personalities or celebrities? Lots of these sports figures have become more and more vocal. They have become more and more polarizing. They have become very, very reactive. Even evangelical leaders, churches and little more personal, even people we know, people we know have become like this, even family and friends.

Again, it seems that the accepted norm in our day is to have strong opinions, to be quick, to be loud in expressing those opinions. It's even accepted by many to be very volatile and vocally even violent in these positions. It's safe to say it's just the attitude and the behavior. It's the climate in which we live. But you know as Christians we must ask if this kind of behavior is truly Christian. It's all about behavior. Is this the kind of behavior that we should have in our lives? Now we're going to look at four proverbs tonight and I believe this will help us. Four points of instruction. A lot of times I call these individual lessons.

They can be seen as individual lessons. But we have four individual lessons that help us in this type of behavior. It is really easy to follow, very practical. And as always, I'm just going to read the verses as we go. So you see what I'm calling number one, don't argue with a fool. Don't argue with a fool. Look at verse nine. If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs and there is no quiet. Now I think it's obvious here that we have a conflict. The New American Standard, it calls this a controversy. While the English Standard says argument, the New American calls it a controversy but we have a conflict.

We have a controversy. We have an argument. You can use any of those words. But notice who is in the conflict. Look at the verse. A wise man and a fool. Those are the two main characters there. We've seen the wise man and the fool all through the book of proverbs. And notice that Solomon does not list the behavior of the wise man, just the fool. In the text it says the fool rages, he laughs and he's only loud. It seems that Solomon is revealing that this fool is incapable of a civil discussion, maybe even a civil debate. It seems that he is unable to talk and to reason with the wise man. Instead, what does the fool do?

He blows up in a rage at the implied discussion from the wise man. I do think it's implied. The fool, he busts out even in laughter at the implied reason and debate that is offered from the wise man. When the wise man is quiet, reasonable and civil, the fool seems to grow louder and louder in a possible attempt to drown out even the conversation of the wise man. This reminds us, it reminds me of countless proverbs that describe the behavior of the fool. There are too many to list. But I did jot a few down. Listen to how this all fits together. In chapter 27 verse 3 it says a fool's, it talks about a fool's provocative behavior.

It is heavier than a stone as they provoke people to anger. In chapter 17 verse 12 it says that it is better to meet a she-bear, a female bear who's been robbed of her cubs than what? Than to come into contact with a fool and he is folly. In chapter 23 verse 9 it says a fool despises words of wisdom. In chapter 26 verse 10 it says a man who hires a fool is like an archer who wounds everybody. And then in chapter 13 verse 20 it says the companion of fools will suffer harm, suffer harm. And then chapter 14 verse 7 says leave the presence of a fool.

So in looking, just a handful of verses and verse 9, it is obvious that nothing comes from engaging the fool in life. That's sad, isn't it? Nothing good comes from engaging the fool in life. And when it comes to arguing with a fool, nothing positive comes from it. The fool is proud and he only sees good in his opinion and in his ways. And when a wise man tries to convince him of wisdom, of sound judgment, he is either argumentative and wrathful and or laughing and mocking. Now I thought about the word sarcasm. Seems like there's a little bit there. Simply you cannot win an argument with a fool. You can't.

Now in a desire to apply this verse, how many of us have people in our lives like this? Now this is a pattern of behavior now. This isn't a one time event. We all have bad days. Everybody has a bad day. But here's my question. How many of us know people this is a pattern of their life. They do not listen to reason. They will not pay attention to wise discourse. When they are pressed, they react in either wrathful arguments or scornful laughter. You see the two? And listen, we can struggle to know how to react to this person, especially if they're close to us. We can react in one of two ways. We can react one, we want to argue with them.

We feel like we've got to set them straight. We got to get in the trenches and we raise our voice a little. We don't want to sin, but we want to show them and help them, maybe even prove them wrong. So we can feel like we've got to argue with them. But then the second way we can react, we can feel guilty if we do not interact with them, especially if there's someone that's close to us. We can feel very guilty. But what's the lesson here? It doesn't matter how you feel, don't argue with a fool. The person who refuses to listen to wisdom and the reason and the guidance, they react by fighting and scoffing.

They're a fool and don't have anything to do with them. Now I'm going to give us some examples a little later on. I want us to continue. So number one, don't argue with a fool. I think that's very, very obvious or simple. So number two, don't explode like a fool. Look at verse 11. A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. Now with the verse we just studied, verse 9, we have contrasting behavior, right? We have the implied behavior of the wise man contrasted with the obvious behavior of the fool. Well here in verse 11, the contrasting behavior is a little clearer. It's spelled out or both sides.

So let's quickly look at the behavior here. First, the explosion of the fool. Go back to the verse. A fool gives full vent to his spirit. I call this an explosion because that's what we have. The New American says a fool always loses his temper. He always loses his temper. In the English Standard, a fool gives full vent to his spirit or from his spirit. Solomon is giving us a picture of one who is undisciplined, a picture of one who lacks self-control. He allows his anger to break out without considering the consequences of his actions. If we glance at a few other proverbs, it seems he is prone to losing his temper at the slightest provoke.

We see that in chapter 12, verse 16. It seems he is on edge, on the edge of blowing his top because he is quick to fight and quick to come to blows. We see this in chapter 20, verse 3. So this man or woman, it could be either one, this woman is a hothead. This person is the one that loses their temper. But second, I want us to see the restraint of the wise. So we've seen the explosion of the fool, now the restraint of the wise. A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. Now, I use the word restraint because that's what we see here. The wise man exercises self-control.

He exercises discipline when provoked or agitated or tempted to do what? To act out in anger. He is cautious and aware of the consequences of his behavior. Therefore, he avoids acting out in his anger. So this is the wise man or the wise woman who exercises restraint so as not to blow their top. They hold themselves back from anger that turns into rage, that turns into blowing out an explosion which turns into sin. Now, looking at what we have here in the verse and really all through the Proverbs, it's simple. The fool is hotheaded. We understand the term hotheaded. He loses his temper. He or she loses their temper. They explode.

Yep, the wise person holds himself back. They have self-control, discipline. They keep themselves from this sin of exploding and spewing out their temper. I like how some commentators would always refer to the consequences. The consequences loom in their thinking. I'm seeking to apply what we've seen here with verse 11. We must see that Christians, as Christians, we can't lose our tempers. We cannot be hotheads. We must have self-control and we must have discipline and we must think about the consequences, the consequences. And I'm thinking the personal relational consequences and I must ask, do we know people like this?

Do we know people like this? I'm not talking about a one-time event. Everybody has a bad day. I know. We know. I'm talking about a pattern of behavior. And do we know people like this or are we even like this at times? You know, we might control our temper in public, but yet when we get home, it's different. Sometimes those that we love the most and that are closest to us can push our buttons. Are we prone to lose our temper with our children, even with our spouse? I know people, maybe they're prone to lose their temper at work or maybe with friends or maybe with neighbors. So I want us to see that we've had two lessons here in these verses.

They're very similar. They kind of go together in a way. The more I read them yesterday and today, mostly today, I just saw how they kind of went together. Don't argue with the fool. Don't explode like the fool. Don't argue with the foolish man or a woman. And don't explode. Don't have a bad temper like the fool. But then we're going to transition a little in verses 20 and 22. It's a shift. And these verses to me are similar as well. So number three, I want us to see the fool and his words. Look at verse 20, the fool in his words. Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? Question. There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Here in verse 20, we have no contrast. We have no comparison. We have one question and we really have one lesson. It's real simple. But here we have a subject that is a major subject all throughout the proverbs. The words of a man. The speech of a man. The tongue of a man or a woman. All through the proverbs we see teaching on the power of words, whether they're good or bad. Good words and bad words have power. Words from the tongue of a man or a woman, they're going to either bring death and destruction or they're going to bring life or healing. Some of us really need to get that. Words either bring life and healing or death and destruction.

Now in the question, we have a man, we have a woman who is quick with words. You see, go back to the question. Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? So they're quick with their speech. They're quick with their lips. All through the proverbs we see that being fast, being hasty, being quick, it is usually, it is almost always associated with sin. I need to say that again. All throughout the proverbs it is usually associated with sin when we see a man or a woman who is fast or quick or hasty. A few references here. See in verse 11, we saw that a quick temper is bad. In chapter 20 verse 15, we see that quick promises are bad.

In chapter 25 verse 7 and 8, we see that quick judgments are bad. In chapter 21 verse 5, we see that quick decisions are bad. And then in chapter 19 verse 2, we see that quick actions are bad. And then we see that quick riches, they are bad in chapter 13 verse 11. That's a very incomplete list. Well here, here in verse 20, Solomon says that a man who is fast or quick with words is worse than a fool. Did you catch that? Worse than a fool. One commentator says it like this. In opening his mouth fast, he puts himself in the same category as the man who is wise in his own eyes. You get that?

The proverbs talks about the man who is wise in his own eyes all the time. So in quickly opening up his mouth, he's automatically putting himself in the category of the man who is wise in his own eyes and in his own understanding. So the lesson is simple. The one who is quick, the man, the woman who is quick to speak, they are a lot like a fool, but yet they are worse than a fool. It seems that he is compelled by his own pride. They are compelled by their pride, their desire to be heard, so they quickly open their mouth so as to be heard. Now in thinking of this, applying this, are we prone to this type of behavior?

Again, none of us are perfect. We all have bad days. We're talking about a pattern. We're talking about a pattern of behavior. Are we prone to this behavior? In conversation, do we want others to hurry up and be quiet so that we can talk? Do we bombard people with our desire to just tell everybody what's on our mind when a question or a situation arises? Do we jump at a chance to share our opinion? And if so, we may be. We may be governed by pride. We could be governed by nothing but conceit. We may be energized to speak quickly because of pride and ego. And if that's the case, we could be worse than a fool.

And you know, a lot of times this is subtle. It's not to you, but it's not to others. So we've got to think about our motivation when we want to speak. What is our motivation? Now sometimes we are excited. Yes, it's not out of pride. We are excited. Maybe it's a subject that we relate to and we just can't wait to open up our mouth. But yet it could come out of pride. It could come out of conceit. And I think many of us know people that fit this description. And then number four, I want us to see the fool and his wrath. Look at verse 22, the fool and his wrath. A man of wrath starts up strife and one given to anger causes much transgression.

Now here we do not see the word fool. We don't see it in the verse. But this behavior from this person or persons is definitely foolish. I don't think I'm twisting the scripture by putting it in this category. Now one could read this verse as two people or one person acting in a similar but yet in slightly different ways. Let me say that again. Some could see this as two different people, but yet some could see this as one person acting in two similar but yet different ways. So if you see this as two people or if you see it as one person, either way really is fine. The point is identifying the behavior.

And so what needs to be seen here is the behavior and the consequences of the behavior. So quickly, let's look at the behavior. First we have the wrathful man. Look back at the verse. A man of wrath starts up strife. The new American says angry man. So he's wrathful, he's angry, she is wrathful, she is angry. It's all the same I know, but we need to see these different words. But notice what Solomon is saying here. He is saying the wrathful, the angry man, stirs up strife. They cause trouble. I really like how one commentator described this here and I'm quoting word for word.

It takes two to make a quarrel, the hotheaded, but yet the hotheaded generates heat enough and more to spare. Let me say that again. We need to get it. Yes, it takes two to make a quarrel, but the hothead generates heat enough and more to spare. It takes only one to stir up a hornet's nest. And then he goes on to say that this individual right here in verse 22 is the one who takes a sensible discussion and they make it all about a war of words. So here we see the wrathful, the angry. They stir up strife. They stir up contention. They stir up fusses and fights. Then second we have the angry man. Look at the verse.

A man of wrath stirs up strife and one given to anger causes much transgression. The New American Standard uses hotheaded man. So he is hot tempered. She is hot tempered. This is one given to anger. It's all the same. Now notice what Solomon is saying. He or she says that the hot tempered one causes sin. They stir up sin and they provoke more sin. I do like the New American Standard. It says that he abounds in transgression. So here we see that this man, this woman is prone to anger and they abound in sin and they seem to promote or produce more sin. So the lesson is simple here. It is twofold or two sided and I think it is easy to see.

The wrathful, the angry, they stir up trouble. They provoke continual contention and then they abound in sin. Their sin seems to stir up and cause more sin. Now an application I think we must ask. Have we seen people who are wrathful and they stir up trouble? Do we know people who are hot tempered, wrathful, they just stir up strife everywhere they go? Do we know people who are hot tempered and they seem to just abound in sin and more sin? Now on a personal note, have you been one that stirs up strife and sin? Have you been one to abound in sin and even more sin? Sometimes this person is extremely opinionated but yet that is an excuse.

Sometimes this person is seen as passionate but yet that is an excuse. Sometimes this person is described as being zealous but that can be an excuse. You see it doesn't matter what excuse we use, we must see what it really is. There are people who are wrathful and they provoke fights and contention and strife and then they are angry and they seem to be in sin and promote more sin. Now I want to pause here. Pause as in finishing up the verses and I want us to think about how we started off the message. It seems that the accepted norm in our day is to have very strong opinions. Very strong opinions.

It seems normal today to be quick, very quick, very loud in expressing those opinions. I mean it's even accepted by many to be volatile and to be vocally violent. You ever thought about that? It seems to be accepted by many to be volatile and vocally violent as they are holding on to and expressing those polarizing positions. It is safe to say that it's just the accepted attitude and behavior of the day in which we live. It seems like this is just normal. My question is this. Are not so many today simply argumentative just like this fool in verse 9?

They refuse to listen to reason, even civil discourse and debate all while arguing and fighting and laughing and scoffing, you see? Are not so many today just like this fool in verse 11? They are nothing but hotheads who explode on everyone about everything, anything that would oppose them. Is that just the norm today? And my question is this. Are not so many today so quick to speak like the fool in verse 20? I mean quickly they open their mouths in pride and ego and they speak without thinking? They are about stirring up strife and trouble, stirring up more strife and trouble. And are not so many abounding in sin and more sin?

And do they not seem to produce more sin like we see in verse 22? They do not bring peace but they bring strife. They do not bring repentance from sin but they bring about more sin. You see these verses are the norm today. But you know, listen folks, as Christians we cannot act like this. We can't act like this as Christians. Verse 9, verse 11, verse 20, verse 22, these are very relevant lessons. If you really think about it, I've been aiming this at the world, have I not? I've been aiming this at our culture but we must see that as Christians we can't act like the world. As Christians we can't act like this in the world.

And if you think about it we see it very regularly from people that say they belong to the church. You can't be that man or that woman on Facebook. Christians want to act like this. You can't be that man or that woman on Twitter or any other social media platform. You can't be that man or that woman at work or in the neighborhood. You can't be like this in the world. The world might be like this but we can't be like this. I think about a specific issue, specific situation. I watched a particular man who professes to be a Christian just become increasingly like this about political issues on Facebook and it just gained steam.

It got worse and worse and I just thought just let it go. It really was fleshing out these verses. But there are two more places we need to see where this applies. Two more. We can't act like this in our families either. You know with our parents, with our siblings, with our cousins. We all have them in laws and outlaws in our family. We can't act like this as Christians in our family when we don't get our way. You know when somebody else in the family gets grandmother's house maybe the inheritance doesn't work out like you want. Maybe you wanted the back 40 and somebody else got the back 40.

I mean you don't have a relationship with your mom and your dad like you used to and a sibling does or I mean there's just a whole host of things that can come up into our families that can make us act like this. And we can't act like this in our families. And you know what sometimes in the middle of a family is one of these fools who won't be quiet. Remember the first lesson? We can't argue with a fool in our family and we can't be like this in our family. But one more place of application. We can't act like this in the church. People act like this in the church. This is the body of Christ people. First Corinthians chapter 12.

If we are born again we are grafted into the body of Christ and we're part of the universal body yes but we're part of the local body and we're part of a local body. I mean we're the body we're the hands and the feet and the eyes and the mouth and the arms and the legs and you know if God's put us together as the body we can't act like this. That would be like picking up a knife and looking at each other all the while we're just carving on each other. Imagine picking up a knife and carving on our own body. That's what this kind of behavior is. And we can't act like this in the church.

I remember years ago my home church, it's a particular individual held a position in the church. A respected position. I don't staff. You know these committees not against a committee. If you have a committee full of godly people it should be a godly committee. You can take pagan, lost, mean people and you can give them any title that you want to give them and they're still going to be mean. You know I watched a particular man act just like this.

Railroad everybody, argue with everybody, promote more conflict and more fights, fight everybody against the pastor, always quick to open his mouth, had all the opinions, knew just how things should go. Just like this in the church. This is the kind of behavior that does what? Hurts people over here, runs staff off over here, makes people leave over there. Sad to say I've got a friend of mine who just left the church, he just backed away and resigned because of behavior just like this. You see? So I want us to see, look, we can't act like this in the world. We can't act like this in our families and we sure can't act like this in the church.

Now what do we look at? I call it anger and arguments, words and wrath. Don't argue with a fool. Don't explode. Don't have a temper like a fool. The fool in his words, don't be quick to open your mouth like a fool. You'll be worse than a fool and the fool in his wrath. Don't start fights and conflicts and therefore promote more sin. Now what we've looked at is very practical and it's very identifiable. Now as I close, I want to say this, be careful. Be careful not to point first. Be careful that you look at yourself first. We all have bad days. Don't let one of these things be a pattern. Be careful. Make sure you look at yourself first.

Make sure you look at your family first and then you will begin to see others a little bit different, maybe even a little more gracious. Let's pray and we'll close out looking at our scripture, mention a few needs and then we'll dismiss. So let's pray.