Divorce and Remarriage - What does Jesus say? part 1

Well, if you would take your Bible and turn back with me to Matthew chapter five, we were in our scripture reading earlier in Matthew chapter five, just two verses that would be verse 31 and verse 32. Now, truthfully, verses 31 and 32 are going to be more of a launching pad this morning. We're going to look at a few other scriptures and as always, I encourage you just to write those scriptures down, write them down and follow along with me through the message. And you can go back and look at those messages or those passages later as you study your own notes.

But, but a lot of what I'm going to give us this morning is some background information and it's very, very important. And it's, it's a lot more relatable to, to where we are. Then maybe you might know now hearing the verses, verses 31 to 32, Jesus is beginning this third lesson and the lessons are all about Jesus explaining the meaning of verse 20. I've gone back to verse 20 time and time again. I'll go back this morning, look back at verse 20. Jesus says, for I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and the Pharisees, you will never enter into the kingdom of heaven. Now what is Jesus doing?

He's saying your righteousness has to be different than that of the scribes and the Pharisees, the religious leaders of the day. Now we know the setting, they were there. There was this large crowd there at the sermon on the Mount. Jesus was correcting this entire Jewish religious system and the leaders that were there listening. Jesus was explaining that they had to possess that righteousness that was completely different than the righteousness that really had been passed down for generations. Jesus was pointing to the generations of the religious leaders. Just imagine the crowds are there.

Not only is he directing his attention to those religious leaders, but he's directing his attention to all of their forefathers. And he was pointing out their interpretation of the old Testament scriptures. He was pointing out their entire religious system. And he was saying to those religious leaders and all of their forefathers, it's all wrong. It's all wrong. Everything you've been doing for generations, it's all wrong. And then Jesus is pointing to the old Testament scriptures and he was offering to them a new standard that was vehemently opposed to that manmade standard that was before them in that day. We know what Jesus was doing.

He was explaining the true meaning of the old Testament scriptures to all of those who were listening there in the crowd. And he does this with these six lessons, really the entire sermon on the Mount. Now we know that Jesus started the lessons off with the first lesson that was anger and murder, murder and anger. We covered that rather thoroughly. And then the second lesson was lust and adultery, adultery and lust. And Jesus was showing that it was all about the inside of a man. It was not about the religious externals. Jesus was showing that a man is hopelessly sinful and he is in desperate need of a righteousness that is greater than him.

He is in need of God's righteousness. So now we just come to the third lesson we're progressing along and this is the subject of divorce and remarriage. That's the primary subjects divorce and remarriage. But look at the verses. Let's go back and read them. Jesus is referring to what they had been taught for generations. It was also said their traditions, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you, see there's the new standard. I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for on the ground of sexual immorality commits adultery and whoever marries a divorce woman commits adultery as well.

Now what we see here is not just the subject of divorce and remarriage, but we also see the subject of immorality and adultery. All of this in these two verses, but honestly we're going to cover a lot more territory than just the two verses. I've alluded to this. This is a big subject and there are a lot of ramifications here. It was a big issue and subject for the Jews in Jesus day. And it is for us in our day. And I will take more than one message to try to understand what Jesus is teaching and also to make sure we apply this teaching to us in our day. Now, before we progress, I want to make some application right here.

I want to ask you a very, very important question. And the question is how are you going to approach this subject? You might not have thought about it, but how are you going to approach the subject? You see, if we do not come to God's word in full submission to its authority over our lives, then we come to this subject flawed from the get go. We will be headed down the wrong road before really we even get going. That is if we do not submit to the authority of God's word, which must be over us. There are many confusing and conflicting beliefs about divorce and remarriage going on in the life of the church and in culture today.

This is one of our biggest problems. Now, the problem is never with God's word. No, God's word is sufficient to tell us what God says about these subjects in any, any subject. If there is a problem, it is always with man. If there's a problem, it is always with us. We understand that we must die. We have to come to a place where we must die of our preconceived notions. We die to our previous experiences. We must die to what maybe we've been taught previously, what we've been taught in our culture, what we've been taught, even in our own families. And listen, some of you might even have to die to what you've been taught from church leaders.

So listen closely. We may have a, we may have to completely die to what we personally believe, maybe what we've taught about the subject of divorce. I hope and pray that none of us are like the Jewish leaders in that day. Remember what I said earlier? Jesus is pointing them out and he's saying, you're wrong, you're wrong. Even your forefathers, you're all wrong. I hope and pray that the Lord doesn't have to look at us and say, you're wrong, you're wrong. And if he does, we must adjust ourselves to God's word. So with God's help, we can come. We can maybe come with this clean slate.

You know, I guess I have it in my mind, the image of the old chalkboard. Some of you are old enough to remember a chalkboard. We know what a dry erase board is. So we really can come with our lives cluttered up with preconceived ideas and what we've been taught. And we need the Lord to wipe our boards clean so that we can receive what his word says about these subjects. Now, before I continue, I want to show you my approach, my approach with the verses and with these subjects. With this morning's message in the next couple of weeks, I'm going to borrow my approach from Jesus.

Now, some of you might know Jesus taught more extensively on this subject in Matthew 19, starting in verse one on down to verse 12. He teaches on divorce and remarriage. Really, he goes a lot further than he does here in Matthew chapter five. In Matthew 19, we have a similar situation compared to Matthew five. Jesus had a great crowd there. Also, they were following him. We see that in 19 chapter 19, verses one and two. Jesus had the religious leaders there also in the crowd. And in verse three, it says that the Pharisees came to trap Jesus. They came to trap Jesus and they used the subject of divorce.

Now, in Matthew 531, Jesus started with divorce in their day. And then in Matthew 19, four, Jesus went back in his teaching all the way to Genesis with the first marriage. And then he makes application to the Jews in their day. Really and truly, if you look at Matthew five and then Matthew 19, really Jesus goes on a long journey. He starts with them. He goes all the way back to Genesis with Adam and Eve and comes right back to the Jews in that day. So this morning, I will start with our day, our time, our culture, you and I. I will start with us. I will only make a few thought provoking observations, but that will get us started with us.

I will then go back to Jesus Day and how the Jewish leaders approach marriage. Truthfully, this is a lot. This is more relevant than you know. In the next week, I will go all the way back to Genesis to that first marriage and I will come back and end up in Matthew five, Matthew 19 and make application for us. And this will be a long journey, just like Jesus took those Jews on a long journey in Matthew 19. Now, a good portion of the message this morning, I think I've mentioned this will be background material. So just sit back and follow along. I want us to get this in our minds and hearts.

And again, if I give you a scripture, you write that down and you will see that this is this relates to us far more than you know. But first, our day, I said earlier, I'm going to start with us. Our day divorce in our day. Let me ask you a question. How prevalent is divorce in our day? Now, I'm not a betting man, but I would be willing to bet you that every one of you have been affected by divorce in some way. I mean, in your family, you have parents who've been divorced or are a sibling. They've been divorced. Maybe you've been divorced. Maybe you've been a terrible victim of a divorce that you never ever wanted.

Some of you may not have divorce in your immediate family, but you do in your extended family or maybe in your spouse's family. Now, think about it with me. But let's get a little more personal. Count for yourself how many divorces have taken place in your immediate family or in your spouse's family. Is it one or two or three or four? I hope it's not more. If we extend this observation past our immediate family, the numbers get even higher. Think about it with me. Maybe make a mental list. Now, we will return to our day. There is a lot I will say about how we relate to this subject in our day.

And in the life of the church, I simply wanted us to see and think about divorce on a personal level. We cannot look at divorce in remarriage in Jesus' day and in the rest of the scriptures unless we are willing to apply it to our lives. So first in our day, we have all been affected by divorce, some of you in very difficult, harmful ways. Divorce is very prevalent in our culture, in our families, and even in the life of the church. And like I said, we will come back to that. Well, number two, second in Jesus' day, I want us to look at divorce in Jesus' day, the day in which Jesus is speaking to this great crowd.

You see, divorce was very, very prevalent in that day. Divorce was surprisingly common even among the Jewish leaders of the day. Now, this is a complicated matter and there are many, many reasons why divorce was so common. There were many influences which made divorce common in Jesus' day. Now, I will briefly explain those influences and this will do us a lot more good than you know. This is more than just a history lesson. First of all, there was this Greek view of marriage which had influenced the Jews in Jesus' day. Now, I believe most of you know that Israel was occupied by the Romans in Jesus' day.

But the Romans, as well as other nations, had been profoundly influenced by Greek culture. Although the Romans had conquered the Greeks, Greek thought and Greek culture made a lasting impact on the Romans. It was the Romans who carried their version of Greek culture to Israel, really to all of the nations that they conquered. And that list was long. Now, the Greeks had a very, very low view of marriage and they had a very low view of women. On top of that, the Greeks had almost no problem with sexual relationships outside of marriage. Truthfully, this was an expected thing, yes, an expected thing in Greek culture.

Scholars tell us this was a part of ordinary life. Simply, men took pleasure in prostitutes and concubines, all while being married. Basically, they had wives for the purpose of children in keeping their households. Now, if that seems bad, it really does get worse. The Greeks demanded that a respectable woman live a life in almost total seclusion. Respectable women would never appear out in public alone, nor would they ever have a meal with a man other than her husband. She would have no part of social life. A Greek man would demand complete social and moral purity for his wife, but for himself, he expected and demanded the opposite.

He expected the freedom to engage in any immoral practice. Again, the Greek men married women for children and to keep the home. But they found sexual pleasures anywhere and everywhere that they wanted. This was just an accepted part of their society. So it is safe to say that ancient Greece was filled with brothels and prostitutes and concubines and sexual immorality of every kind. Even the religions were filled with sexual immorality. Now, think about it. Some of you know this example. In Corinth, they had the temple of Aphrodite, and they had over a thousand sacred, they considered holy temple prostitutes.

Simply, their entire social system was based on sexual relationships outside of marriage. This was seen as normal. This was seen as acceptable. And on top of that, their view of divorce was even worse. They had no legal process for divorce. To divorce a wife, all a man had to do was get two or three witnesses and put her out. This was legal and this was accepted in Greek culture. But second, there was the Roman view of marriage. In the Roman view of marriage, it had influenced the Jews in Jesus' day as well. Now, in the beginning, Roman religion and culture was founded on the home. To the ancient Roman, the home was everything.

As a matter of fact, scholars tell us that the standard for marriage was so high that in the first 500 years, there was not a single recorded case of divorce. That's a pretty high and wonderful statistic. But then the Romans met the Greeks. Yes, the Romans met the Greeks. Even though Rome conquered Greece, scholars tell us that it was really the other way around. Rome conquered Greece with their military, but Greece conquered Rome with their morals. Historians tell us that by the second century before Christ, Greek morals had begun to infiltrate all of Roman society.

As their culture digressed morally, marriage had become nothing but a necessity. Does that sound familiar? A means to an end. Simply, the Romans had become just like the Greeks. Marriage was for children, but sexual pleasures were sought anywhere and everywhere. And it was simply a part of the culture. So in summary, what I want us to see, at the time of Jesus, Israel was occupied by Rome and had been for years. Rome had brought with them their Roman culture, which was really Greek culture repackaged in many ways. When Rome conquered a nation, they brought with them Romans. And so Israel had a healthy population of Romans.

They brought with them Roman rule, Roman ideas, Roman thought, Roman religions, and Roman morality. Everything Roman came with them when they conquered a land, especially their morals. So what we need to see is the Jews had a pagan culture right on their doorsteps, everywhere all around. The Jews, they saw sexual immorality and a low, warped view of marriage in every corner of society in their day. Women were mere property. Yes, property in every way. They were either sexual property or marriage property, and divorce was no big deal. But third, there was another influence.

There was the Jewish leaders in their view of marriage and their influence on Jews, the Jews and their religion. Now, in theory, no people had a higher view of marriage than the Jews. For the Jews' marriage was a holy duty, which was meant for most every Jewish man. And really in the eyes of a Jew, for a Jewish man not to marry and have children, it was to break a commandment of God, which was to be fruitful and multiply. In their eyes, for a man not to marry and have children, they lessened the image of God in the world. That was an idea the Jews hated divorce. They hated it. They knew what God said in Malachi 2.16.

Simply, God said that he hated divorce in Malachi 2.16. But the Jewish leaders had a problem in Jesus' day, and this had been a problem for generations, really since the Babylonian captivity. Their ideals did not match their practice. You need to get that. Their ideals did not match their practice. They said they hated divorce, but their practice did not reflect that high ideal. Bible scholars tell us that the Jews had two problems which led to this disconnect. You see the disconnect? They had two problems that brought them to this disconnect. Two faulty views. First, in their eyes, women were simply property. Yes.

In their eyes, women were viewed as property. A girl was really at the total disposal of their father. And then as a wife, she was at the total disposal of her husband. Under the Old Testament law, she had almost no legal rights for protection. In every way, a woman could not divorce her husband, but a man could divorce his wife for almost any reason. We will get to those reasons here in a few minutes. But the second problem, Jewish leaders had abused the meaning of the Old Testament law concerning divorce. Yes. They had reduced the Old Testament scriptures to permit a man to get a divorce very, very easy.

Now, remember what the Jews, the Jewish leaders were. They were masters at reductionism. We learned that all through these lessons that the Jews, the Jewish leaders, had reduced the original meaning of the Old Testament scriptures. And so for the Jews, all the man had to do was to provide a written document of divorce to his wife, along with a couple of witnesses, and that was it. That was what Jesus was talking about. Go back to verse 31. "It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.'" Jesus was pointing out what they did.

Now, the root of this entire problem was found in their abuse of Deuteronomy chapter 24, verse 1. Notice what the law says. "When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of the house." See, there's the divorce, but there's an abuse here. You see, the Jewish leaders had misinterpreted this phrase, "some indecency," and they had done this for generations. When it came to interpreting the Jewish law, they had really two schools of thought.

Now, I won't get into the names of those schools of thought. I will be brief here, but you will see their error. One view held a strict, severe interpretation of the Scripture. One view held to a liberal, broad-minded view of interpretation of the Scripture. The strict interpretation of the phrase, "some indecency," it meant immorality or sexual sin, that was it. But the liberal, broad-minded interpretation of this phrase, it really meant anything. Under this interpretation, a man could divorce his wife really for even ruining a meal. A man could divorce his wife if she went out in public without her head being covered.

He could divorce his wife if she talked to a man in the market, if she spoke disrespectfully to his family, and more. Scholars tell us there were all types of trivial reasons why a man would divorce his wife. Now, a question. Which interpretation do you think the religious leaders were teaching in Jesus' day? Which interpretation have been the standard for the Jews for generations, even since the days of the Babylonian captivity? Well, you've guessed it. You've guessed it. They had the broad-minded liberal interpretation. So in their eyes, they could say something like this, "Hey, listen, you burned the meatloaf three weeks in a row.

You're out." They could literally say something like this, "You were rude to my parents at our birthday get together, so you're gone." Now, I know that sounds like a joke, but that is exactly what they were doing. And Bible scholars tell us that that's what they were doing. So in summary, what do we see here? The Jews were idealists in every way when it came to marriage. Oh, they would say, "God hates divorce, and so do we. God hates divorce. We hate divorce." They could quote Malachi 2.16 backwards and forwards. But in practice, they would divorce their wife for the most trivial of matters.

Remember, they had reduced the meaning of the Old Testament Scriptures. They had reduced Deuteronomy 24.1. They reduced the Scriptures to meet a standard that they wanted. And they wanted a standard that placated them in their sin and in their evil, sinful desires. And let me tell you, that went on in that day, and it goes on in our day. People reduced the meaning of God's Word to whitewash their sin. They wanted God that will accommodate them. Now, at this point, I want us to see two things.

Jesus, in those first two Christians, what they were up against, the Christians in that day, the disciples, those who were the early followers, remember the context, remember what was happening in Matthew 5. Jesus was beginning His earthly ministry. He's preaching the sermon to the Jews. There were the disciples there. And listen, they were all up against two great influences concerning marriage, concerning divorce, and concerning remarriage. I just envision it like the walls of the Grand Canyon. They were walled in on two sides. First, the influence of the Romans and the Greeks. You see? The influence of the world.

Now, you tell me, what was the world telling these Jews? What was the world telling these early disciples? What was the world telling the 12 that Jesus had singled out? What was the world telling the New Testament church? Roman thought and Greek thought in the world was saying, "You just treat divorce and remarriage and all that good stuff. Just treat it like we do." I'll give you a good example of what took place in the life of the Corinthian church. They were influenced by the world. When it came to morality and immorality and marriage and so much, they had let the world into the church.

So what we see is they had the world in their view of divorce and marriage and remarriage. All that was crowding in on them. And then second, they had the influence of the Jewish religious system, the religious leaders. Now, you tell me, what was the Jewish religious system telling these Jews? What was the Jewish religious system telling these early disciples, the those 12 in that first New Testament church? Oh, they had a trivial view of marriage. They had a trivial view of divorce and remarriage. Now, an application I want to ask you. Isn't it the same today? I told you this was very relevant. I told you this applied to us in our day.

We have the world telling us what marriage should be. We have the world telling us what divorce should look like. We have the world telling us what remarriage after divorce should be like. We have the world telling us what's right and wrong when it comes to marriage and divorce and remarriage. And then we also, we must see that we have the church as we know it, not emphasizing what marriage should be. Yes, the church has been woefully behind exalting what God's word says about marriage, what God's word says about divorce, and what God's word says about remarriage after divorce. You see, it's just same for us in our day.

Now, as I pause in our message, I want to call our attention to our approach. Remember our approach? Now I say pause because we're pausing right here. We're going to pick up right where we left off next week. This morning, I want us to see that we really just gotten started in the right direction. We must understand the backdrop of all that Jesus is teaching. He is contradicting the teaching of the religious leaders of the day. He is contradicting the worldly culture. He's contradicting both. And both were pressing in on all of them. And both are pressing in on us at the same point. We're in the same boat. But what should be our approach?

Our approach should be exactly how Jesus approached the subject. I ran across something that the Bible commentator William Barclay said, and it just really nails Jesus' purpose and Jesus' approach here. And I'm going to borrow what he says, and I'm going to add to it and apply to us in our day from what he says. And I'm quoting, "When Jesus said this," this teaching, "He was not speaking as some theoretical idealist. He was speaking as a practical reformer. He was seeking to deal with a situation in which the structure of the family was collapsing and in which national morals were becoming ever more lax." Sounds like our day, doesn't it?

This is what is happening all around us in our culture. And in our families, and really even in the life of the church. The structure of the family is collapsing, and national morals are becoming more and more lax. And listen, we need Jesus' approach. And what was Jesus' approach? Approach. He was a practical reformer. So as we begin to conclude, I want us to see that we must seek to be reformers. We must seek to practically reform our view of marriage, our view of divorce, our view of marriage after divorce, according to what? According to the authority of God's Word. Not what the world says, and not even what the religious system says.

It must be according to God's Word. Now let me warn you here. This is where some people get really offended, and what they do without knowing it, they take their Bible and they just pitch it. They say, "I don't want to adjust to what God's Word says." Some might say, "Pastor, you got a little personal with anger and murder." "Oh, you really did get personal with lust and adultery, but now you're really getting personal." And we cannot do that. We cannot do that.

We must seek to be reformers, and we must seek to practically reform our view of marriage, our view of divorce, our view of marriage after divorce, according to the authority of God's Word. We must work to bring our view of these subjects back to what God says, no matter the cost. Now I want to end with some motivations. I have a list of motivations. I've really been dealing with them and meditating on them all week. I jotted these down in my own study, in my own reading, in my own prayer. This comes out of the verses, comes out of some different materials. This just really comes out of my heart as I was studying this week.

And I will use these motivations really as we continue. Our first motivation for this work, remember, being a practical reformer here, what is our first motivation for God, for the glory of God? We should desire to be obedient to God because we love God. We should desire to be obedient to God because we love His Word, and we know that He is right. No matter where we fall in the mix here, we should desire to be obedient to God because we love God, and ultimately we want glory, the glory of God in our life, and in our convictions, and what we believe and what we say about these subjects. So first, our desire must be for the glory of God.

And then second, for our own families. We're dealing with God's plan here now. We're dealing with God's plan for the family when it comes to marriage, and divorce, and remarriage. And we should desire this for the health of our own family. God is the one who's given us the family. God laid out the blueprint, and we must adjust ourself to God's blueprint. And so we should want this for the health of our own families. But then our third motivation for our own children and their future, for our own children and their children and their children's children.

You see, our children and their children's children are affected by what we teach and what we do. And so we should desire to adjust ourselves, or adjust our families, to what God's word says for our own children and their children's children. And then fourth, for the good of the church. You see, God desires to have healthy families. Families who will adjust themselves to God's word in the life of the church. We must have healthy families, men who love their wives, wives who love their husbands, men and women who love their children. And they desire to have a family built on the authority of God's word.

And they are rooted in the life of the church and their leaders in every way. We must desire to have this for the good of the church. And then our fifth motivation is for society. You see, the lost world needs to see Christ in us. And the lost world needs to see God's word being fleshed out in every area of our life, especially matters of marriage and children and husbands and wives and divorce and remarriage. Listen, this is for society so that we can go out and be what? We learned this earlier in chapter five so that we can be salt and light. So what are we looking at this morning? We really just gotten started. The tide of the message.

Divorce and remarriage. And that what we see, verse 31 was also said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her an adulterer. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. So we're looking at divorce and remarriage, but we're looking at what Jesus says. That's the title of the message divorce and remarriage. What did Jesus say? Truthfully, this is a lot. There is a lot here that we must learn.

And listen, as we discover what Jesus says and what God's word says, again, we must seek to submit ourselves to God's word. No matter what, no matter what, because we want that for the glory of God, for what's best for our families, for what's best for our children and their children's children, and for the good of the church, and also for society. Let's pray and we'll commit what we've learned and what's been put before us to the Lord. And we'll just look forward to the Lord just unfolding everything he wants to teach us as we continue to study this subject. So let's pray.