Divorce and Remarriage - What does Jesus say? part 3

Amen. I enjoyed that worship as always. It's really good to see you. It's really good to be back in worship. I was thinking about that earlier. Just a couple of weeks ago we were fighting that blessing and that curse of livestream. All of my minister friends and church friends have the same stories that we do. So we're all the same, you know, but you know, livestream was a necessary evil. It was a good thing and I'm very, very thankful. I know that we're easing back into worshiping together. I know some of our people are just not quite there yet and that's okay.

We're all in this global pandemic in different places and we're praying that we can get back to normal. We're wanting to get back to normal and of course we're being real careful how we get back to normal in the life of the church. We don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but it is good to see you. Glad that you are here for worship. Now, like I said earlier, we're going to be in quite a few places in scripture. And what I mean by quite a few, usually I just have us in one place, maybe two places. Have that passage in Deuteronomy, Mark.

We'll get there a little later, but we're going to be right there in Matthew chapter five and Matthew chapter 19. I'm going to reference some scriptures there. And as always, I say, I would rather you follow me through the message and go back and study the passages on your own. I know sometimes if we're looking up and looking down, we don't follow with our ears and our minds in our hearts. But I felt like it was really necessary for us to grab quite a few of these scriptures for our message this morning. Now, I think most everyone knows here that we're back in our series through the Sermon on the Mount.

Really, it's been a few weeks since we've been in our regular series and it's been a good reason or two while we have missed. We took a break from Mother's Day. We looked at what I call the faithful but flawed family. That really encouraged me. A faithful and a flawed family because we're all flawed. We studied that wonderful family in first Samuel chapter one. We learned some very valuable lessons, not just from others, but for fathers, for all of us. Now, I would encourage you if you've not listened to that, if you've not gotten that, get into that. It might be one that we need to listen to and study more than once.

And then last week we had our first corporate worship service since we suspended public worship due to the COVID-19 crisis. And we studied what I call the call of the catastrophe. Now, that's probably an odd sounding title for you. But we looked at what Jesus thought about disaster and calamity and tragic events, those types of events that are beyond our control. And I think that the call of the catastrophe should really sober us up. That's what Jesus was doing there in Luke chapter 12 and Luke chapter 13. Things like this come along and they're under the sovereignty of God and the providence of God.

And they have a purpose in our lives and they should sober us up in many, many ways. Now, back in our series, back in our sermon on the Mount this morning. Now, at this point in our series, most of you know that we're really neck deep in the third lesson. We have six lessons that are before us. They are found in chapter 5 verses 21 to 48. And here in these verses, Jesus is giving us six illustrations, six lessons. And what he's doing is he's illustrating the teaching from previous scripture, verses 17 on down to verse 20. Really, especially verse 20.

We're in this third lesson, which focuses not just on marriage, not just on divorce, and not just on remarriage after divorce. It's really all tied together. Now, so far we've had two messages on this subject or this lesson from verse 31 and 32. Now, you might ask why in the world have I taken so much time with this particular subject? I've not done that with any of the other lessons so far. For one thing, we must take our time here because divorce and all of the problems and sin associated with divorce, it's just so prevalent in our day and our time. Let's just be honest here.

Divorce and remarriage and remarriage after divorce, it's all around us. Divorce and remarriage and remarriage after divorce is everywhere in our culture. It's all in our families. And listen, it's even very, very prevalent in the life of many churches today. And we've all been personally affected by these issues. Some of you have been hurt very, very bad. One of the blessings of livestream is people who are outside of our church sometimes will contact us. And through these first two messages, I had someone really that doesn't even live in the Brookhaven area contact me.

And they explained to me that for 40 years they lived with hurt and questions and all types of issues surrounding all that we're studying here. But we also must take our time here because the consequences are so grave. Missing God's standards on marriage and divorce and marriage after divorce produces more of the same in our families and in our churches and in our community. Missing God's standard here also produces a whole host of other sins. Yes, other sins. Blowing it with marriage and divorce and remarriage after divorce leads to a whole host of other sins. Sins compounded, really almost sin at infinitum.

One of the commentators that I read and studied this week kind of compared it to scrambled eggs. I mean, it can just get like scrambled eggs where you can't unscramble it all. And that's not a far-fetched illustration. Now in our previous two messages, we really did cover a lot, I know. We learned that the average Jew in Jesus' day faced a horrible view of marriage and divorce really on every corner. From the pagan world, the influence of the Romans and the Greeks just breathing down their neck. And then in their religious world. And then even from their religious leaders.

See, the Jews were just walled in on every side with bad views and bad teaching on marriage and divorce and remarriage after divorce. But we also learned a lot from Jesus' approach in the Gospel of Matthew later on in chapter 19, verses 3-9. Again, Jesus was confronting the Jewish leaders and their great sins with these subjects. In Matthew 19, Jesus corrected them by going back to God's original design and plan for marriage in the first place. He reminded them that it was God who created both Adam and Eve, male and female. He reminded them that God performed that first marriage ceremony and the two became one.

Listen, young people, God would fail math because He took one and added one and made one. But then we saw where Jesus reminded them that God's plan for marriage was that the two should never ever separate. But the Jews in that day, they had the world screaming in their ear that divorce and remarriage and just the continuation of all of this was no big deal. You know, they didn't have social media in that day, but if they did, social media would be screaming that message. They didn't have television and movies, but if they did in that day, all of that would be screaming that in their ears.

They didn't have music like we have today, but if they did, they would have music like we have today, just screaming that message and so on. The Jews in that day had the church, literally the church telling them that divorce and remarriage was okay. It was just a common practice within the Jewish religion. In the synagogues, they had bad teaching, even in the temple there in Jerusalem, they would have had bad teaching because it came from the leaders. They had these religious leaders exemplifying this sin in every way in their own lives. Those leading in the synagogues and in the temples were leading out in this sin.

Historians and scholars tell us that most of the religious leaders in Jesus' day were divorcing and remarrying for any reason at all. And listen, they did this really for generations. Now, imagine the scene there in that day. I've called you to do this many times. Remember, we see at the beginning of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus has this great crowd there. Jesus had his disciples. I believe they're there on the front row. The scholar called it like their ordination service. So he had his disciples there with other true believers. But the vast crowd were the Jews and the Jewish leaders. And I know there were some Gentiles scattered in.

Maybe the Gentiles were on the back row for fear of the Jews. Jesus had two purposes with two primary groups who were there. With the 12 disciples and those other true followers, Jesus was explaining to them the true Christian life. And in dealing with the subjects of marriage and divorce and marriage after divorce, Jesus was giving them God's standard as opposed to everything that they had been taught and seen. And then with the scribes and the Pharisees, really all of the Jewish leaders, Jesus was super correctional and super confrontational.

He was showing them that they had reduced God's standards to accommodate their desires and their sins. He was also showing them that their sins had led to a whole host of other sins. Sin and more sin and more sin. So notice what we did in two messages. We really went around the block in Matthew 5 and Matthew 19. We started with divorce and remarriage in Jesus' day. We went all the way back to Genesis and God's original design and plan just like Jesus did. And now we're back to Jesus' teaching and His application to the Jews in that day. And like I said earlier, we'll be primarily in Matthew 5 and then also in Matthew 19.

And I'll go ahead and give you the title of the message and you'll see how we'll break all this down. We're just continuing with that same title that we have had all along. It's just a part three. But you'll see how we're going to break all this down. This is what I'm calling the exception in divorce. And this comes out of chapter 5 and chapter 19. And then we have the sin in divorce. This will help us get our minds around what Jesus is teaching here. And I'll go ahead and tell you, I'm not going to be exhaustive. And I'll speak more about that as we continue. So let's notice what I call our first major truth in our outline.

This is the exception in the divorce. We have this in chapter 5 and chapter 19. So if we look into the verses, we have this word "accept" in more than one place. And then we have some other language that really falls in the same vein of thought. Let me go back to the verses and you'll see what I'm showing you. Matthew 5, verse 31 and 32.

It was also said, "Whoever divorces His wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce." Verse 32, "But I say," Jesus talking to the crowds, "I say that everyone who divorces His wife except on the ground of sexual immorality." And then over in chapter 19, verse 8, "Because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives." And then on down, "And I say to you in verse 9, 'Whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality.'" Whether you know it or not, these verses, in all that is taught here, can be very confusing for some.

And we need to see that any type of misunderstanding here can lead to all types of erroneous thinking when it comes to divorce. So we must make sure that we understand what Jesus is doing here. Now I want us to examine this in two ways. First from the Old Testament and then from Jesus' perspective. You might not know it. Jesus is going back to the Old Testament here as well. First, this Old Testament exemption. Here in Matthew 19, verse 8, Jesus is referencing Old Testament passages, and these Jews knew these passages quite well. Specifically, He was referencing Deuteronomy chapter 24, verses 1-4.

Now truthfully, these passages were at the heart of the Jewish misunderstanding about divorce. But really, that's not an accurate statement. I need to turn that around. Honestly, the heart of their problem was their sinful hearts. They just abused these passages to excuse their sin. See, I've said this to you over and over and over. They reduced the meaning of the Old Testament Scriptures. Specifically, they reduced the meaning of verse 4 in Deuteronomy 24 to excuse their sinful behavior. But we need to ask ourselves what's going on here in Deuteronomy. So I will ask you to turn to those passages. Just four verses here in chapter 24.

Let's look at those verses together. "When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes, because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes, it becomes another man's wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce, and puts it in her hands, and sends her out of his house, or in the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then the former husband who sent her away may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled.

For it is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin upon the land of the Lord, for God is giving you an inheritance." Now there's a lot going on here, but we need to see the actual point of the verses. The actual point is not divorce. Moses is definitely not commanding divorce like the Jews said Moses was doing in Matthew chapter 19 verse 7. The point here in Deuteronomy is that Moses is giving a command in regards to remarriage.

Moses is saying that if a divorced woman marries, and that second husband divorces her or he dies, the first husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her back again as his wife, because she is defiled according to verse 4. And that is the main point of the verses. But within the passages, we do see an exemption for divorce. Go back and look at verse 1. Notice what we see here.

"When a man takes a wife and he marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes, because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce." You see this word indecency, it is a key word here, but you need to understand it to interpret the whole thing here. King James uses the word uncleanness here. Now Bible scholars tell us this is not speaking of adultery. That is why the English translations do not use the word adultery.

If this were adultery, then a different word would be used in the original language, and the penalty here would be death, because according to Leviticus 20 verse 10, the punishment for adultery is death, not divorce. This indecency or this uncleanness here speaks to some kind of sexual lewdness or sexual looseness or some type of sexual activity that does fall short of the actual act of adultery. So the result is divorce, but not stony. We see in the rest of verse 1, we see the proper procedure under the Old Testament law. The process of divorcement was to be certified by a written and legal document.

There was this lengthy process, which would give the parties involved time for reflection and possible repentance. If the divorce was to continue, then we see the purpose of Deuteronomy 24 verses 1 to 4. Moses is saying that if a divorced woman remarries and that second husband divorces her or he dies, the first husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again for his wife. She is defiled. That was the purpose of the verses. Now at this point I want us to see what we have here. I know it's a lie. Moses does give an exemption for divorce. He permits it. He does not command divorce like the Jewish leaders assert so often.

Divorce was not God's will from the beginning. We examined God's design and God's plan from Genesis last week, did we not? And listen, that is why background and really chasing down all of these Bible passages and references, that's why that's so important. God through Moses made a concession. He permitted divorce because of man's sinfulness, and that's exactly what Jesus said. Jesus points out their hard-heartedness. Divorce was never God's desire. God made a concession because of man's sin and man's hard-heartedness. But let's continue. We're still dealing with this first made the truth, this exception for divorce.

So second, notice the exception from Jesus. Jesus reveals to us his exemption in two places. We've read it numerous times. Matthew 5 verse 32 and then in chapter 19 verse 9. Let me read it again. Matthew 5, 32. "But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except on the ground of sexual immorality." And then over in Matthew 19 verse 9. "And I say to you whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality." Now we have two key words here. The word divorce and the word sexual immorality, some translations use the word unchastity. Now this word divorce means to let loose. It means to let go free. It speaks of a separation.

It speaks of a desertion. This does not refer to the breaking of an engagement or the breaking of a Jewish betrothal period. That's not what it means. The background of Deuteronomy 24 does not permit that type of interpretation. And also the Jews here saw this plainly as dissolving a marriage union, a divorce. But then also this phrase sexual immorality, the New American uses the word unchastity. The King James uses the word fornication. Now the reason the English translations use a variety of words here is because the original meaning of the word is broad, very broad. This speaks to a wide variety of sexual activity.

And in the context of marriage, we know that any sexual activity outside of that marriage union is seen as adultery. That's what we've learned in the Sermon on the Mount. Now at this point notice what we have here. Jesus is saying the exact same thing that Moses said in Deuteronomy chapter 24. The exact same thing. If he were not then either Moses would be wrong or Jesus would be wrong. And that's not the case. Jesus is not giving more approval for divorce than Moses did. Nor is Moses giving more approval for divorce than Jesus did. The Old Testament concession has not changed. Jesus just repeats it here for the Jews.

Jesus' exemption for divorce was the same exemption that Moses gave in every way. Now I know we've covered a lot, but notice in summary what we've seen here. This Old Testament exemption and the exemption given from Jesus. The biblical exemption for divorce. There's only one and it is sexual immorality which ultimately constitutes adultery which is what we've learned in the Sermon on the Mount. Moses permitted those Old Testament Jews to divorce if they found some sexual indecency in their wife. Jesus repeated the same concession in Matthew 5 and also in Matthew 19. He repeats the exact same thing. It's very clear and it's very plain.

Now in application there's really a lot that we need to learn here but there are three things that I want us to see that I really believe we need to learn and apply to our own lives here. First of all, there is an exception. We must see that. There is a concession. You see there are some. You know they're well-meaning but they just can't bring themselves to allow the Bible to say that there is a concession or a permit for divorce. But it's here. We cannot force the Bible to say something that it does not say. We cannot try to raise a standard higher than God raises it. Listen, that's a sin against the authority of God's Word, you see.

And look, no matter where we fall here, if we alter what God's Word says, we do the very same thing that the Jews did. What did they do? They reduced it down to accommodate their sin. We can't raise it up to try to make the standard higher than God gives. So there is this exception. But then second, the only concession is sexual immorality. Adultery, the way Jesus sees it and has explained it in the Sermon on the Mount. And listen, it does not matter what a state law may say. It does not matter how you feel about a marriage. It does not matter what you were taught from your parents or even what you were taught in the life of the church.

The only exemption that we can find in the Scripture is sexual immorality. That's it. But then third, an application. We must remember God's design and plan for marriage. Notice Jesus' habit. He goes back and forth to what they were dealing with in their day all the way back to Genesis. We must remember God's design and plan for marriage. It was a permanent union. No matter our sinfulness, no matter our hard-heartedness, no matter what's going on in the culture, no matter the permission of the concession, God's design, God's plan is for one man, one woman joined for life. That's God's plan. That is the most important thing for us to know.

That is our goal. That is our standard. What should our response be? We're to work hard. We're to work our fingers to the bone in our families and in our churches. Why? To keep that standard, to hold that standard high. And even when marriages are on the rocks, to try to bring them back to that standard. There are some that would just pull this concession out so easily and throw it around. And I do not believe that is God's heart. We must even in the most extreme circumstances try to move everyone back to what God's design and God's plan. So what do we see? This is the biblical exemption, a permission for divorce. Let's move on.

Let's notice our second major truth in our outline. We see the sin in divorce. This is what I'm calling the sin in divorce. And again, this comes out of Matthew 5 and Matthew 19. Now, there are two things before we really get going here that I want to share with you. First of all, I will not spend as much time here. And then also, I'm not going to cover all that we have here before us this morning. I'm going to really cover the heart of it. But we need to remember the context here. Again, we need to know what's going on in that day. Jesus was confronting the Jewish leaders in their sin. We've already discussed it.

They had taken a very liberal approach to Deuteronomy chapter 24 verse 1. Remember in their day, there was the conservative view and there was the liberal view. They had gone down the liberal view to allow for any type of reason to factor into divorce. They had created all these reasons for the divorce other than sexual immorality. And by allowing divorce below the original intention of the law, they had caused a terrible disease to contaminate the people of God. The sin of divorce outside what God allowed and consequences of that sin and more sin and more sin. That was a disease.

Their problem was sin that turned into more sin that was perpetuated in their families and in their religion. And also in their culture, I envisioned it like this. It was this big bucket of marbles of sin and it was just dumped out and going everywhere. Now there are two ways I want us to see this sin of divorce. First, divorce outside the exemption. We see here in the verses, divorce outside this exemption. Now we just learned that there is an exemption for divorce. A divorce which is not sin. It might not be God's plan and God's original design, but it is there. But it's a permission. Well, we need to see the opposite.

Now to help you do that, I'm going to ignore a portion of the scripture. Look back at Matthew 5 verse 32. Jesus says, "But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife..." Stop there, don't go to the exemption, skip over it. "...but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife makes her commit adultery." What am I saying by that? Outside of the exemption. We can do the same thing with Matthew 19. "Also I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, moving away from the exemption and marries another commits adultery." You see, in both cases we see the sin of divorce outside of the biblical reason that's given.

Remember the exemption is for sexual morality. So we see that divorce outside of what God's word says is sin. Again, I'm not being exhausted. But then second, remarriage outside of the exemption that's given. In reading the verses, Jesus is making an assumption. Remarriage for men, but especially for women. You see, women in Jesus' day had almost no way of providing for themselves or for their children outside of marriage. For a woman, to make it, most certainly she had to be married. But also we see this assumption for the man as well. The point here is that marriage outside of this exemption is sin, but two things.

Again, I'm not being exhausted. Many of you know that Paul dealt with divorce in 1 Corinthians 7, and that needs to be covered as well. But second, there is a debate here about remarriage. There is a big debate about remarriage or biblical remarriage if it is biblical after divorce. And that needs to be covered as well. But what do we see here? Remarriage outside of this exemption is a sin. So in summary, what do we have here? The sin in and from divorce. You see, the sin of an unbiblical divorce, which really has become like a pandemic in our culture, and it definitely was in the culture in Jesus' day.

Historians tell us it was of that proportion in that time. And the sin of remarriage from this unbiblical divorce, it was inevitable in the people. Again, there is more here. We see that this sin is just perpetuated in their families, in their religion, and even in the culture. Now, at this point in application, what do we need to see here? There are two things that I think is very relevant for us. First of all, that any divorce outside of a biblical exemption is most definitely sin. You see, any divorce outside of the biblical exemption is sin.

No matter what culture says, no matter convenience, no matter what you were taught in your home, even no matter what was taught in the life of the church, any divorce outside of the biblical exemption is sin. And then second is when that sin is committed, it leads to other sin. Listen, one sin of a biblical divorce leads to more sin. It is inevitable. It is perpetuated in so many ways. It is sin. It is like that bucket of marbles. It just goes out everywhere. But then there is this debate. There is this debate surrounding the question of remarriage even after a biblical divorce.

Some say that any remarriage after divorce, no matter what is sin, while others say that remarriage after a biblical divorce is permitted. They say if you are biblically released from that marriage, then you are released to remarry. And again, we will revisit this as we conclude these messages next week. So what do we see here? The sin of divorce that leads to sin and more sin and even more sin. Now, as I begin to conclude, I want to conclude our message this morning in two ways. First of all, I want us to see that there is more. I think I have already said that several times. We have not turned over every rock here.

We have not covered fully the subject of divorce and remarriage and what Jesus says. We have got to go all the way into Paul's writings. And I know that I have probably stirred up a lot of questions. I know I have probably stirred up more questions than many of you than I have answered. I believe we can't answer many of the questions that you do have. I say many because this can be very, very hard. This can be very, very complex. Marriage, divorce, remarriage after divorce. It can be very difficult.

And even though we may answer some of your questions in the end, it does not take away the pain and the hurt and much of the sin never will go away. Again, I think back to the person who contacted me a couple of weeks ago. They explained that they had been dealing with the pain and the ramifications of these sins for 40 years. They might have some questions answered, but not all of them are answered and the pain never seems to go away. So next week we will go on into some of Paul's teachings in 1 Corinthians 7 in Romans 7. I'm going to give you some of the principles and examples and really try to tie all of this together.

And to be honest with you, I'm going to come to a place where I ask you to bring some of your questions to me with this particular subject, these messages, because these questions definitely need to be answered. Now, second in concluding, I want to remind you of our approach with all of this. Remember our approach from back at part 1? Bible scholar William Barclay, he really captures, I believe, what should be our approach in these issues. And I'm quoting what William Barclay said.

He says, "When Jesus said this," now all of this, Matthew 5 and all of it really, "When Jesus said this," and I'm quoting, "He was not speaking as some theoretical idealist. He was speaking as a practical reformer." I like that. A practical reformer, he was seeking to deal with a situation in which the structure of the family was collapsing and in which national morals were becoming ever more lax. It sounds like he's writing about our day. So what we must do is we must become practical reformers. We can't be theoretical idealists. No, it's got to work out biblically in our lives and in our families and in the life of the church.

And listen, no matter what, no matter the cost, and even no matter the repentance, we must adjust ourselves to what God's Word says here. Now, remember our motivations. I'll be very quick here. This will help us be practical reformers here, these motivations. The first motivation, we should do this for the glory of God. Listen, we love God. We should love God and love His Word, love His standard. No matter what the standard of God's Word says, no matter how bitter the pill may be, we must be willing to, in our love for God, adjust ourselves to what God's Word says.

And our ultimate motivation should be for the glory of God in our lives and in our convictions and in our views, and even how we deal with the sin and ramification. See, our ultimate desire should be for the glory of God. And then our second motivation is for the good of our own families. Listen, folks, God's plan and God's design is what's good for the family. It doesn't matter what everybody else says. Remember, Jesus went all the way back to Genesis to remind those Jews that it was God that created man. It was God that created woman.

It was God that performed that first marriage ceremony, and it was God that said, "Let no man separate them." So what we must see is God's plan is what's best for our own families. And then our third motivation is for our children and their future. For our children and our children's children. You see, what we do here affects our children and their children's children. And then the fourth motivation is for the good of the church. It's for the good of the church. We must have solid biblical families, not perfect families. I'm so thankful for our study in 1 Samuel chapter 1, that faithful and wonderful, fall family.

But we must see that this is for the good of the church. We must have solid families who deal with these issues biblically. And then our fifth motivation is for the good of society. Because see, when the church embraces what God's word says about the family and about marriage and about divorce and about remarriage after divorce, when God's people embrace what God says about these matters and we go out into our culture and into our world, we will impact the society. So what's the title of the message? Divorce and Remarriage. What Does Jesus Say? This has been a lot. We've covered a lot so far. I've given you a lot this morning.

And next week I'll give you more, and we'll try to wrap all of this up. And I pray and hope that the Lord will do a work in all of us. And it'll be a continuing work, a difficult work, even a bittersweet work for some. So let's pray. Let's commit what we've studied this morning to our Lord. Let's ask Him to seal it into our minds and into our hearts. And then we'll sing a closing song in worship. So let's pray.