Encouragement to Young Men

Well what a joy to be back. I greet you in the name of our Lord Jesus and deeply deeply appreciate you guys. About 40 years ago or so you know the Lord impressed on my heart deeply that so many of our churches including my church were mildly biblical at best in the both our doctrine and in our practice. Whether it's membership standards or what conversion is there were just so many things that were not very sound. There's good and sincere people who were involved but we had just kind of drifted away in so many of our Baptist churches from again sound doctrine and sound practice.

And so we begin to journey at my church of reforming our church to try to be just biblically sound. And trust me there were many dangerous toils and snares over the next two to three decades of living out. It was a large church. We lost probably about 600 active attenders and God's let us replace those and some of those were good folks that just couldn't wrap their minds around doing anything other than what they were used to doing. Even when you would show them scripturally things like children raising their hand at Vacation Bible School and that's all we expect to call them saved. Our children are too valuable just to leave it at that.

We've got to spend more time than that with them so just basic things and as we were in this journey I begin to be convicted that you know we need to be helpful to other churches who may want to do these same kind of reforms. And because we begin getting phone calls and emails and contacts well back then we didn't have emails but anyway contacts. And so Anchored in Truth Ministries began from folks like you who said can you help us we're on the same journey you're on and just show us what you've learned and I like to say we can help you prevent and avoid a lot of mistakes in this reformed life.

And you know if you study church history it's cycle after cycle of the evangelical Bible believing church is kind of drifting away and then somebody will reform and bring them back and drifting away and come back and I think we're in that now brother Chris sort of a reuniting and guys like y'all came along and greatly encouraged us greatly encouraged us to say no we just we're not ever going to be perfect we don't think we're better than anybody but we want to be thoroughly biblical.

You know that's the way badness began if you go back 500 years in the Protestant Reformation the badness were the stepchildren of the Reformation they they wanted to be thoroughly biblical not just partially and so they started new churches in a world European world where everything was church state if you denied the church you were in you denied your nationality basically.

And so the early badness really were the thorough reformers they want to change the church and everything and so we're kind of in a long line of our early badness wanting to do that and again we've gone from this thing of a few decades ago being just helpful to small groups who are planting churches or starting churches or reforming churches to where today we depend on you guys I mean your partnership with our missions work your mission journey should go on we depend on you and I want to charge you I don't know how much Chris pushes you in this direction but I want to push you in this direction you have an obligation to now be a model to help still others you have a you've come down the track a long way and God's blessing this work so I want you to get a vision of Lord how can we live a decent level of true church life so that others who are where we were years ago can look at us and be encouraged okay so that that's a part of why you do what you do so that you might reproduce it somewhere else as I've said often in mission work don't try to do a lot of missions until you're living it out right at home first one of the things we found on the mission field years ago was a whole lot of folks around the world were following the American church model and the first thing we had to do in the mission field is is undermine that to get them to a true church model because the American church was so weak so God bless you for your help and your encouragement you strengthen us so much you just don't know how much Chris and Christy just could not do a better job as a pastor and first lady of the church and I so am grateful and then the way y'all take care of your guests it's just normal Christianity but it's so far above the average like dr.

Vance Avenue you just say so many of our churches are sub normal if we just start acting normal people think we're abnormal and you just you just do everything in abundance you know Paul wrote to the Philippians and says I have everything in abundance the way you've supported me and taking care of me well Pam and I feel that this way we walk in and and in our hotel rooms this big old bag of just goodies and foods and looks like homemade preserves and jelly is that Betty that did that Becky I got that wrong so Becky wherever you are God bless you oh there you are what a blessing man just wonderful in the ties I'm just so many wonderful things and that's the way the church at Philippi took care of Paul that's biblical not that we need special treatment but you don't want to come in to preach to be stressed about anything because there's enough warfare already so you're just such a blessing and I just praise the Lord for you all right I got to get on and get in a hurry brother Chris has given me a sign but to preach maybe to the family or to the men so I've recently gone through Titus - and I can't there a long time because these are issues our culture is dealing with it at great depths we don't even know what a man and a woman is anymore much less what the role of men and women are so I got down here and I got to chapter 2 of Titus verse 6 let me just read the flow of the text and they won't camp out there we get in verse 1 of chapter 2 but as for you speak the things which are fitting for sound doctrine older men those are the first folks he calls into his schoolhouse of instruction older men are to be temperate dignified sensible sound in faith and love and perseverance older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior not malicious gossip nor enslaved to much wine teaching what is good so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands love their children to be sensible pure workers at home kind being subject to their own husbands so that the Word of God will not be dishonored and in the balance of that context here's verse 6 that's where I'm gonna cap likewise urge the young men to be sensible so I want to talk about young men be sensible all right now when you see this word sensible you see a word that Paul is quite fond of the idea of being sensible is biblically sensible not not sensible from a worldly wisdom's perspective in other words it means to be sound in mind to be sane to be sober now the opposite of this is if you're not thinking biblically that is biblically sensible if you're not using the scripture to define how you're to approach life and view life then you're being insane you've lost your sanity it's as if somebody could come up to you as a child of God and here you are treating your wife or approaching your employer in an unbiblical way somebody could look at you and bear loving and say are you insane this is not sound thinking and young men in particular have to be kind of shepherded and guided to begin to discipline themselves to have a sensible or sane sound view of life brother Chris we have to shepherd the young men more than the older men are we should have to I told brother Chris the other day said I know the journey you're on because in my church I had to raise up my own senior adults I mean I've been there 44 years and when I first got there there was some sweet and good senior adults but they hadn't been taught well they hadn't been under sound preaching most than I had many of them come to me and say pastor we agreed to think you're teaching but back when we were in our 30s and 40s and 50s even some of us in our 60s we didn't hear preaching like this we didn't hear these instructions so we're just way behind and my heart went out to them so now I've got folks who are in my senior adult division who were in their 20s and 30s when I started and so they are their own track quite well but nevertheless young men need a special shepherding and charge to maintain sensibility biblical wisdom in the approach to life now to show you how much he likes this word sensible in Titus 2 2 he says older men are to be sensible then in Titus 2 5 older women are to be sensible and then in Titus 2 12 he tells just generally all to live sensibly and then in our text he says I want the young men to be sensible now I want you to think on something right quick and that is how in the Old Testament we have basic precepts of the way God's ordered life but in the New Testament you have the perfection of those precepts you have the maturation they come to their full place if you will for example in the Old Testament you have God's people Israel but that was just a type of the New Testament local church that's the pinnacle that's the goal that's the perfection of God's people in the Old Testament you have the husband and wife relationship wife submit your husbands still true in the New Testament husbands lead your wife's head be head of your wife's still true in the New Testament but it's been perfected it's brought to completion now wife's don't just submit to their husbands instead of submitting out of a cold course duty to law now they submit out of love the Bible says love your husbands you have a new capacity because you've had the new birth and then the same way husbands you're not just head of your wives in New Testament truth you're ahead of your wife to love her the way Christ loved the church so God takes those precepts and he brings them to maturity so when he tells young men to be sensible we want to point out that means it grasping and glorying in and purposing to live out the constructs of God as they find their perfection in New Testament truth and live them out that way all right so these are exhortations to young men but they're also exhortations to all of us and just to add another note to that concept of everything finding its perfection in New Testament truth and in Christ remember second Corinthians 5 17 says therefore if anyone is in Christ he's a new creation there was the structure and order of the old covenant but in Christ everything's brand new and we we have the same principles but they are at a higher plane and lived out at a higher level Revelation 21 5 Jesus said behold I'm making all things new now it's interesting in the New Testament because all things were new a lot of the early Christians thought that means we throw a lot of the old things away and Paul would have to argue and say no no no you don't throw them away they're just perfected now remember when Paul was writing to the Corinthians there are a lot of the Corinthian folks who thought you can't get married you've got to stay single to serve God Christ with all your heart he said no no no no you're going too far keep marriage but now you're married just for the Lord and you live it out in the Lord's strength and by the Lord's wisdom so in the Old Testament law we never found perfect righteousness we've never found the righteousness of God there but we come to Christ and we find it in him so in Christ we exceed the original design that God had for Adam and Eve and in Christ we find what Moses could not give us through the law you see in Christ we're not just restored back to the perfection of Eden we're placed into a higher kingdom the kingdom of our God and of his Christ so we're not just regaining Eden we're gaining a greater kingdom so in Christian truth we take the basic precepts and we go further and just real quickly and I'm gonna have to stay with my notes because I've got way too much to cover this morning but to show you how much God speaks about this idea of being sensible that is being biblically minded if not you're being insane in your thinking Proverbs 14 8 the wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way that means to understand things in view of God's wisdom Proverbs 14 15 the naive believes everything but the sensible man considers his steps that is he looks at his steps in view of God's wisdom Proverbs 14 18 the naive inherit foolishness but the sensible are crammed with knowledge that means the knowledge of God and his wisdom Proverbs 15 5 a fool rejects his father's discipline but he who regards reproof is sensible and that's a good charge to young men are you reprovable are you correctable do you love looking to and receiving the correction of the older men the wiser men of the church in Matthew 24 45 he who then is the faithful and sensible slave who miss master will put in charge of his household in other words the young man who understands how to approach his wife with life with biblical wisdom he will rise above his peers we'll talk a little more about that in just a moment so let me go to Roman number one here and we'll talk about first of all Roman one young men be sensible by balancing strength with self-control by balancing strength with self-control why is it that we put all of our warriors or rather I should say why is it all of our warriors and our armed forces are almost always young men because they're strong they're strong but God wants young men with their vigor their strength their passion to balance that with godly self-control and young men need help there and they need the older men of the church to help guide them and to understand that for example in Proverbs 14 29 the Bible says one who is slow to anger has great understanding but one who has quick tempered exalts foolishness so a young man may have passion and vigor and drive and initiative and strength and that's good but he's got to learn there's time to keep that under control that I don't run pass and trample and I'm not brutish running over others I remember the an illustration from South Africa we ministered there for many many years and they had a terrible problem that happened that had never happened before that the elephant herd had begun trampling some of the villages and elephants are very intelligent animals and they just don't do stuff like that they stay to themselves they just don't do that and so the people the natives were getting enraged and wanted just to annihilate the elephant herd and the biologists the wildlife biologist came in and looked at it and said it for a while and they said oh we found out what happened that's not the elephant herd that's doing that several of the young bulls have separated from the herd and they're running ruckus over everything and they're out of control and they worked with helicopters to get them back with the herd and the older bulls of the herd got those younger ones in line and they stopped having that problem so there's nothing wrong with the young bulls having the vigor and the strength and the power but they needed the self-control of the maturation of the older bulls in the in the herd and I don't mean to compare you to elephants but the church brother Chris needs older men to help the younger men we appreciate your strength in your vigor but there's times for self-control and for discipline and that brings up the concept of what we call meatness that's the idea of meatness in the Bible there is a weakness has a power and a self-control or a gentleness to it and these in God's wisdom are to work hand in hand in second Corinthians 10 1 & 2 Paul talks about the meatness and gentleness of Christ and then he says I am meek when face to face with you but I'm bold when absent so the point Paul's making is there's a time to be gentle and there's time to be bold now sometimes a man's got to be a man there's a time for that but mean this has the concept of you you have a sword and you can be very dangerous with it that's good but you know how to keep it sheathed until it's a righteous cause to use it young men need help there they need to know how to balance their strength with self-control and there's a powerful promise here the young hit man who walks in this sensibility this meekness knowing his strength but it's under righteous self-control he will far surpass the average man of the age that's why the Bible says who then is the faithful and sensible slave whom his master will put in charge of his household he will gain an advantage and then the beatitude the meek shall inherit the earth in other words they're gonna get ahead they will possess more they will own more they will rule more and I can't to you young men if you'll be sensible about godly meekness keep your strength under control according to biblical truths you will far surpass your peers in the workforce God will see that you're exalted because our companies and our our business owners are looking for men like this because I'm telling you our young people today have lost these truths all right all right not only just balancing strength with self-control is the one way to be sensible secondly be sensible about the nature and the need of work it's a very practical sermon is it not but that Chris told me to preach on something like this so I'm obeying my pastor this morning all right the nature and the need of work just last month I read where a record number of men ages 24 to 55 were not in the workforce it's an unusually high number and a very high number of them are on disability but it's interesting also that suicide rates for these young men is at an all-time high but biblical sensibility means you understand that God ordained the construct of work and then in Christian truth he perfected it you no longer just work and obey you work for your employer like working unto the Lord see it's brought to higher level see how he takes the basic truths of lives and in Christ they're brought to a higher level because we have the heart change and brother Chris if our folks hadn't had the heart change they don't get it we can't beat it into him we can't make enough rules we can't do enough discipline it takes the gospel and the Spirit of God changing your heart to where something in you when you hear these truths says amen that's where we need to be so young men need to embrace the truth of finding work it's good for them Oh Lester roll off you ever heard of left to roll off the old independent Baptist preacher from Corpus Christi Texas I used to look when I was first converted I'd listen to him on the radio and Lester was old school of old school of old school and he had these these reformed I guess you would call it schools and facilities and the judges would send him the worst cases I mean the the most troublesome young men and women some of them had tried to commit murder etc etc and Lester would put them in the fields working all day long and he had a better success rate of straightening people's lives out than all the justice system because they learned the dignity and the self-respect of work I remember kind of it was humorous to me but old Lester would say we don't need no sleeping pills here he said because they come in from the fields their own farm tranquilizers he said they said they they go right like they they have a worship service in the morning they go work in the fields come in and eat lunch have another worship service work in the fields and come in and have another one and it was just a simple principle so not only do young men need to understand the nature and the the goodness of work they need to understand it because it doesn't just need to be so for the provision of their wife and their family and their children but it's good for them to build dignity and self-respect this is wisdom this is sensibility so the Bible is very very practical in these things young men need to be sensible about balancing their strength with self-control the idea of meekness young men need to be sensible about the nature and the need of work here's an important one and young men need to be taught to be sensible about the nature and need of their wives the nature and need of their wives contrary to what this insane world is teaching and by the way sometimes I call our local church the oasis of sanity because we live in a world gone crazy but you come into the church and we still believe the basic things that have always been true about mankind so it's it's the oasis of sanity but one of the things that young men need to be reminded of is your wife isn't a mini version of you God made her very different and long live the difference praise the Lord for the difference this whole concept that well you know women are just like me and no they're not they're not equal at all there's no equality there what man can can conceive a child what man can just say just a tight child for nine months what man can birth the child what man can nurture a child like a mama she a woman has superior gifts in this all important glorious and wondrous essential part of humanity the very existence of the human race depends upon the woman and church we should glory in that not call that a problem or an obstacle or difficulty that's a glorious thing and it takes a while using for young men to begin to grasp the difference the way God made women to be nurturers and caregivers what a mercy ministries what a beautiful strength and dignity and gift God's given women let's exalt in that and let's glory in that I I kind of tongue-in-cheek told my church if I go in the hospital I haven't been there much praise the Lord but I don't want a male nurse I want a lady you know ladies come they care you just feel the compassion and the concern for you know guy come in there just bring me right I'm jakes out you know God made women special and he made them different one of the things that a sub point here would be a woman's primary need is security if a young man is sensible he'll understand that he'll purpose to discern that a lot of times when your wife is irritable are difficult there's something she's fearful of there's an insecurity you need to help her find security in might be the best way to say that one of the ways that just illustrates how different we are Pam and I were in South Africa years ago and we were traveling about I don't know six or seven hour trip to the remote rural areas with our only tribal villages and they had told us make sure you get through there before dark you just don't need to be out there dark not for the wild animals but some of the villagers were not as accommodating as they were years ago and the guy who was driving us had an old pickup truck bless us hard and we had our suitcases in the back and there was more valuables in our suitcase and probably a whole village of people had in those days and and so we would be easy picking if you will being out there at night and his little truck the man that was driving us overheated and he got a two liter bottle and he ran off he said I got to go in the village up here and it was good probably 30 40 minutes for dark he said I've got to go get some water to put my truck and I thought oh me and so he takes off and the Sun keeps setting and all of a sudden these young men from the village start surrounding the truck and literally one of them had an axe head an axe the end of an axe the iron part of course and he was sharpening it and I began to get quite fearful but what I did not do is look at Pam and say okay Pam you got the five on this side I'll take the six on that side we'll find our way out of it I didn't ever came to my mind that we would tag team I lock I got out locked both doors and I stood in the midst of those guys and thought they could take me but at least it won't have to get through me to get to my wife and they just surrounded me they acted quite freely but I thought at any moment they could do anything they wanted get all of our stuff and probably never be accountable for it finally the driver showed up right as it was getting dark we jumped in we took off and everything was fine but what is my point God made women to be protected they need that security and young men need to best step back and think through and it's kind of hard guys because we think away and they don't think our way but to think through where does my wife need security and how can I meet that need the older men should be better and they should help the younger women at that are the younger men at that husbands love your wife just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her you know what that is that's security and Christ gave himself up for his bride that he gave that's security Jeremiah 31 3 the Lord appeared to him from afar saying I have loved you with an everlasting love I like to say there that everlasting love means there's never a time when I didn't love you I've loved you for all eternity past I loved you in time and I love you for all eternity future one way you know God will never quit loving you as he never started loving you he's always loved you you know what that is that's security that's what he does for his bride I give them eternal life John 10 20 through 30 and my father who's given me is great at all no one's able to snatch them out of my father's hand and I and the father one that's security for his bride I will never desert you nor will I ever forsake you Hebrews 13 5 that's security Hebrews 14 3 I go to prepare a place for you I will come again to receive you to myself that where I am there you may be also that security so notice how Christ goes to the integrate and make sure his bride his church knows you're secure so young men be sensible and knowing the nature and the need of your wife that she needs security secondly and I'll just briefly mention this a woman has a deep need for thoughtfulness which is connected to romance well I'm still learning some of this and guys you're on the journey with me but young men need young men need to to really be prodded to you've got to be thoughtful as to how your wife is thinking and how you can romance her it is so foundational to the need and the makeup and so date your wife and be intentional here well number four young men need to be intentional to be sensible about the nature and need of children of children several sub points here a love them now in the context of Titus to especially when he speaks to the the women to learn to love their children the idea of the air is to like children like the idea of children that God created it to work this way I know they're messy and they're difficult but this world lies to you and tells you that your work in the world or your career is the most important thing that's a lie you know we're finding out in survey after survey research after research all these ladies who put career first I'm not saying that's always sin I'm just saying if your heart is putting that first that is sin you may do some of that but if your heart's putting it first that's sin but and all the ladies who put that first when they get their 40s and especially their 50s and 60s so they're most unhappy demographic in the whole society they some of them never got married some of them didn't have children too late they long for companionship they long for family they long for grandkids and most of them don't have this because they believe the feminists lie and we know better so like children I'm getting back to the guys here like your children take responsible responsibility for them spend that time with them that's the way a child knows that you love them years and years ago the church agreed to build me a study at my house I just found that having a study at the church was death to me because when I was at the church I was always responding to questions and inquiries and and ministry needs of some kind and I wasn't able to to really lead and study like I needed to so they built me a study at my home but I kind of made a rule in my heart that anytime my children wanted me I would put my books down and receive them so my kids knew where I was and I think Pam was pretty good to keep them out of there when I was studying but it was numerous times a week one of my little girls would run in there and jump in my lap and I just put everything down and spent time I wanted them to know I like you and you're a priority to me and young men are hopefully initiators and they're driven and they're strong and they're full of vinegar and but they also need to know when put the brakes on make sure those babies know they're first in your life so love them secondly not only be sensitive about the nature needs of your children by loving them but by disciplining them because you love them Proverbs 13 24 reminds us he who withholds his rod hates his son but he loves him disciplines him diligently let me say a couple of things about discipline your children that I struggled to learn and maybe did a pretty good job by God's grace is when I would spank my children and you probably can't do that any public setting anymore but I would always make sure that I held them and I prayed with them also and when I would pray with them after spanking them I always would confess that daddy is a sinner too and daddy needs a Savior too and I'm only spanking you because my Lord has commanded me to raise you this way and to raise you in the discipline instruction the Lord but they need to know that you're under authority also I think that tenderized my my girl's hearts as I would pray those prayers and let's make it our goal that for every one pat on the behind we give them ten pants on the back of encouragement and confirmation for the things they do right the things they do well and one final point under this sub pointing that would be never allow your child to disrespect their mom that's something men need to always be aware of just do not allow that to happen you know generally speaking if a child breaks the rules then whatever parents present should correct that but if a child questions the authority of the parents to make the rules then daddy steps in I said you're out of line so young men be sensible about the nature needs of your children so you love them you discipline them and then thirdly be a good example for them a good example of them now I got three sub points here right quick another's a lot of notes and usually in a sermon like this you don't need just to remember everything you get what God's kind of saying to you one or two points that really speak to you but be a good example for them number one by putting them third third they need to know very well God is first in daddy's life mom is second and your third don't make any apology about that I remember hearing the testimony of a black man who was a preacher and he had a son who was quite an athlete and he tells the testimony that I set my son down and said son I'm gonna be at most of your games most of your events God's gifted you but there are some times when I won't be there because God's called me to preach and I have ministry responsibilities too I'll be at most of them but I won't be at all he said that taught my son I love you but God's first that didn't mean he was going to collect all of his son's activities but he said in balance that's the way things are going to be well secondly be a good example for them by not only just putting them third but be but by being faithful to God's church you must belong to a church your children need to know I belong somewhere where I'm accountable to church elders and accountable to a church body I'm not just freelancing out here that is so important for your children to see that to see their daddy you think they can conquer the world comes in and willingly and joyously places himself under the authority of local church elders that is rich that helps your children to know man church is important and God is important so belong to a church tied to that church minister to your brothers and sisters through the small groups of that church let your children see you humbly receive the preaching of the word make sure that that you go home often like we teach in home life discipleship and you bring home and tell with you to your children man daddy needed to repent here today God taught me something today you know what that does that means you your children think wow my daddy takes seriously the preaching of the Word of God and I need to take it seriously too that's being a good example for them in church life one thing that happened in mine in Pam's life it was one of the most penetrating things that's ever happened to us concerning our children we had been going through a long season of turmoil in the church and people were leaving and highly critical it was so difficult during our early reforms and but somehow we we stayed in the boat and didn't run or duck or dodge we just kept pressing on in the ministry and our oldest daughter Katie Lee turned 16 it was a sophomore and she was enough small Christian school and we were doing something of a Christian courtship approach to boy girl relationship not just the way the world dates and all of her friends were just going out on dates all the time and we didn't do it that way and so she began to be ostracized and made fun of and one day she was sitting at the lunchroom table by herself because her girlfriends wouldn't sit with her and a very godly teacher she had was noticing what was going on and the teacher actually called Pam and told her this story we didn't know about it to the teacher called and and the teacher went up to Katie Lee sitting by herself and said Katie Lee I see you're sitting by yourself and I know what's happening I know you're being treated wrong by these other girls but Katie Lee you seem to be doing okay with it you don't seem to be that concerned about it and she said I've watched my daddy suffer for doing what's right so I can too brother Chris I had no idea she she was getting that I had no concept and it shows you again when we commit to do what's right there's just a domino effect of good that affects so many others so be a good example for them by being faithful in God's church and honoring the Lord and then thirdly not only by putting them third and being faithful in God's church but be a good example to them by modeling good character modeling good character things like loyalty and perseverance and self-discipline and kindness and forgiveness and thoughtfulness and honesty and a work ethic delayed gratification doesn't this this generation need to understand the the wondrous blessing of delayed gratification you work and you store and you save and blessings come down the way my dad was probably not a believer but I am thankful for some good things that God did in his life I remember when I was a little boy he came out of the drugstore I was sick and he had been in there to get some medicine and he came to the car and he sat there for a moment he just sat there and he looked and he just thought and I was looking and thought what's he doing and he pulled out his billfold and he said you know these are brand new one dollar bills and they're bad to stick together he said I'm pretty sure she gave me two dollars back instead of one dollar back I think I owe them a dollar back and he took that dollar and he walked in and gave it to him and came back out and I know this day he wanted me to see that he wanted to know son you be honest and I've never forgotten that because that was my dad that was big so be careful to show them good character young men need to be sensible about the nature and the needs of children then lastly give them I'm sorry next to last give them instruction just so I'll just mention this you know Deuteronomy 6 says the things that which I'm commanding you today now that's pastor Moses talking to the nation of Israel and he says I'm going to give you the Word of God then you shall teach them diligently to your sons she'll talk of them when you sit in your house when you walk by the way when you lie down when you rise up in an informal natural way bring the Word of God home and talk about it in your home don't make it real force don't make it formal just make it real that instruction is so powerful and then a fourth sub point under the nature and needs of children is shield them from manly stresses shield them from manly stresses this instills security your wife also of course you do that sometimes by handling some trials and some burdens alone sometimes a man needs to suffer nobly without splashing it on everyone else don't bring every trouble home that's causing you anxiety if you're coming apart at home because of things you're facing out in the world it can traumatize a child not to mention build deep insecurity in your wife it's stressful for them exude confidence in God and that all will be good because God will work it out for our good sometimes loving your wife and loving your children means you handle some things without letting it become a stress to them shield them from manly stresses and one of the ways I like to illustrate this is when Jesus took care of his children he went to the cross alone we didn't face that stress matter of fact it's amazing when you look at the New Testament text there's almost no details of his death and dying just a few brief facts and that's over and we know nothing about what happened after his death and the suffering and the difficult you know why he was taking care of his bride he was taking care of his children he was suffering nobly and shielding us from it what a powerful picture that is for us well number six a young man needs to be sensible about sensible about the need for authority and a mentor if you're a young man you just don't know it all and be honest about it look for godly older men in the church that you can watch and learn from Proverbs 22 28 says do not move the ancient boundary which your fathers have said and that's a broad application to a physical boundary but it does mean this what the ancient fathers have established respect that you do respect the older men in your church I remember as a young man flying out to Los Angeles and talking to dr.

John McArthur who's very gracious to give me some time because I was suffering and I was struggling I needed an older man to tell me the reforms we were doing in our church were okay because everybody else was telling me they were not okay everyone else was saying you're on the wrong track you're messing things up and but he was such encouragement such it gave me an affirmation and and strengthened me in those things had a little event that happened in my church years ago we were actually brother Chris was a true church conference and that you know how we just all foot fellowship and hang out together and there's a group of four or five older men probably in their 40s to 60s older pastors fellowshiping together and then all of a sudden this guy he's about 18 or 19 pops up jump right in the middle of it starts talking sort of taking over the conversation and I've never seen this happen before but another older man walked up who wasn't in the group but walked up put his hand on that young man's shoulder and said you're out of place you don't just run up to the older men and start talking you wait till you're invited what happened to those principles I'd never seen that before but I thought you know he's right he's right there needs to be a respect for authority and a looking to mentors in the church and especially a church like yours who faced battles and gone through difficulties and men have proven their faithfulness and the church like mine I have some some elders have been with me 40 plus years they have flat earned the respect and something that now this happens as a church ages I understand that but we do not tolerate young men who are not humble and teachable and we sure don't tolerate young men who don't provide for their families we were moving a man from membership a young man just recently who would not provide for his wife and children we discipline him before the church now we worked with them and we helped him and we tried and we counseled and but he would just fall out again drugs here and this and that young men need to learn to be sensible and a part of that course is taking care of your family all right be sensible number seven about your free time free time now if you're like Jeff Noblin about every one of these hits you somewhere you have hobbies you have recreation you're in a basketball league in a softball league now we got a pickleball league you're fishing you're hunting you do video games you're golfing young men sometimes have to be shepherd and taught you're not a single guy anymore you got to be sensible about how many of these extra-curricular things can be in your life no wonder your wife feels insecure she don't know what you're gonna be doing next she needs some structure and some discipline that you're not chasing everything out there you know marriage really makes you grow up I remember when I got married and I was in graduate school I literally gave up everything I was doing for about eight years I'm a big outdoorsman I love hunting and fishing and I just grew up that way and it's great therapy for me today often teased my church and say one of my best sermons are written on a bush hog just out there I get that motor cranked up and you know it kind of drowns out everything else I just think on what I've been studying that week and get some of best insights it's just true but um we got to have some things like that but we've got to be sensible about how much extra-curricular can be in our lives and that's where the older men of the church can sit down a younger man not in discipline not in harsh correction but just shepherding and saying you know son look look at this look this you've probably got too much going on here well number eight last one in this very very practical sermon that's all application be sensible about honoring your wife I love the truth of the fact that we are one flesh so everything you are and everything you achieve she's a part of it she's a part of everything even though she's not actually physically present doing those things probably 31 23 talks about this excellent example of a wife and it has this statement 31 23 5 verse 31 her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land here's what that text is pointing out a great degree of his success is due to his wife being the kind of wife she is she's a key to his public success and a young man needs to be taught to be sensible to appreciate that and honor her for that Proverbs 31 20 29 continues and says her children rise up and bless her her husband also and he praises her saying many daughters have done nobly but you excel them all he publicly honors her and commends her for the essential role she played in his success so guys learn to give your wife I mean for a guy it might be as simple as just most evenings he's got a good meal prepared you know do you ladies know that if you really want to please your husband just look at him as a 10 year old boy what and you I mean just coming in and the thoughtfulness to have a good meal together the home is the secure place there's peacefulness that restores his soul in ways you can't imagine and he'll go out and have a confidence and an ability to achieve like he would not have if he's got to come home and worry about what's happening in my house and so you're responsible for his successes to a very great degree and a young man needs to be sensible to honor his wife for those investments she makes in him colossus 319 says husband love your wife's and do not be in bitter against them literally it means stop being bitter stop being angry or irritated because she's not perfect this is a choice and it is a sin women are fragile and delicate and a heavy-headed authoritarian approach will never work focus on what she's doing well and make sure she knows you communicate to others her value to you this will kindle God's work in her heart to do even more to bless you and assist you well those are some of my exhortations to you from the simple phrase from Titus 2 6 young men be sensible be sensible let's pray together all right father I pray you'll begin with Jeff [BLANK_AUDIO]