Obstacles to the Family part 2

Take your Bible this morning, turn with me to the book of Titus, the little book of Titus. Really and truly I want you to turn to two different places. Turn to the book of Proverbs, Proverbs 31. Proverbs 31, Mark Proverbs 31. We're going to come to Proverbs 31 later and then turn to the little book of Titus. If you're not familiar with where Titus is located, it's 1 and 2 Timothy, Titus. And if you get to Philemon or Hebrews or James, you should know where James is. We spent quite a bit of time in the book of James. Go back to the left and you will find a little epistle of Titus.

Now we've been in our series on the family since October the 30th. We have looked at some foundational teaching dealing with the roles of husbands and wives and we have learned that there are clearly delineated roles which come from the Scriptures. Isn't it wonderful? We have clear roles from the Scriptures pertaining to the husbands, the wives, and their roles and how they should function. Now after three messages, we started off in Genesis then we moved over into Ephesians chapter five, we transitioned into what I have been calling obstacles to the family.

We tackled our first obstacle the last two Sunday mornings and that is a Christian spouse living with a non-Christian spouse. I presented this obstacle in the form of a question, how do I deal with a lost spouse? How do I deal with a lost spouse? Now these messages have been very practical. I think that it's been speaking in a very practical way. These messages have met many needs. I've enjoyed listening to some of you share with me some of the needs that these messages have met.

I know they're practical because some of the ways you've related the messages back to me and again I encourage you, I strongly encourage you to make sure that you listen to every message. We can get you the messages in an audio format, we can also get you the notes to the messages. Some of you have asked me for both and I can freely and easily share those with you. These are very important messages, foundational messages and if you miss one, if you miss two, you miss so much that the Lord wants to teach us. Now before we get into our passages this morning, I want to direct our attention to the beginning of the book of Titus.

Like I said, we're going to be in Proverbs later but we're going to start off in Titus. But look at chapter 1 verse 1. Paul says a bondservant of God, really in the original language that means slave, one who relates to a master, a slave, a bondservant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ. Notice that Paul identifies himself as an apostle. Now the apostles were primarily the 12 disciples and they were commissioned and they were chosen by Christ as apostles. Now those of us who are very Bible literate, we do understand that Judas was not. He was commissioned and chosen but he was a sellout and a liar and a thief from the beginning.

And then we know that they did choose later on in Acts Matthias to replace him and then we know that the Lord Jesus selected Paul in a unique way. So those men were apostles, chosen by Christ and commissioned by Christ. They were first hand witnesses of the resurrection of Jesus and their job was to preach the Gospel, to establish the churches and to teach sound doctrine. And they were what Bible commentators and theologians call the early church, the first century church fathers. Now why do I take the time to examine this little portion of verse 1? One word, authority.

You know that all through these messages I've been going back to that word authority all the way back to the beginning with that first family in Genesis, they were to operate Adam and Eve under the authority of God and the Word of God. And Paul had the authority as an apostle appointed by Christ to write to Titus whom he had left behind on the island of Crete to straighten out the problems that were there in the churches. Look over into verse 5 of chapter 1. Paul's writing to Titus, "For this reason I left you in Crete that you might set in order what remains." So Paul as an apostle, a church father, appoints Titus as an elder to do what?

In the churches there on Crete to straighten out the problems, to teach the scriptures and to guide the churches under his authority and he was under Christ's authority. Remember Paul was an appointed apostle to the church and because what he wrote was inspired by God according to 2 Timothy chapter 3 verse 16, his writings, they have the same authority over us. Let me illustrate that this way. I was listening to a preacher this week. I don't know if I heard this this week or the last couple of weeks but I've been listening to Jeff Noblett, pastor of Grace Life Church there in Muscle Shoals, Alabama.

I've been listening to him preach on elders in their church. They're getting ready to appoint elders and I've enjoyed listening to their approach. And I don't remember exactly what message or specifically what context he was speaking about but he was talking about the authority of the apostles. He said, "I am an elder in this church and I have authority in this church because Christ has given it to me but there is not another man that can come into the door of this church and exercise authority over us." But he went on to say if Paul physically were to walk in the door of this church, he would have the authority as an apostle to exercise authority in this church.

And I like that because what we must see is Paul is walking down the aisles of our church as an apostle commissioned by Christ through his writings to help us address these matters in the life of the church. Now this takes me again back to our first Peter passage. Remember this passage in first Peter chapter 5 verses 1, 2, and 3. Peter who is one of the apostles, he's exercising his authority as an apostle and he also operated as an elder and he's writing to elders and what does he say? "So I exhort the elders among you." Titus was an elder. Paul was speaking to him. Peter is speaking to other elders plural and what does he say?

"As a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ." Now why that language? That speaks of his apostleship. The apostles witnessed, they were first hand witnesses to Christ. But what does he say? "Just to shepherd the flock of God that is among you exercising oversight." Just like Paul instructed Titus to iron out, to straighten out, to correct problems that he saw there in those churches in Crete, we as elders, and I speak for myself and Brother Keith, we see that this teaching concerning the family is needed. Yes, even in our fellowship, yes, even in your life and in my life and in our lives.

So we are operating under the authority of the word of God and the apostles that God has given us and Brother Keith and I are operating under the authority that has been given to us as elders in this church. Now this morning we are going to examine our second obstacle that is pertaining to the specific roles of husbands and wives within the marriage. And I will present this obstacle in the form of a question, just like our first obstacle. And the question is, what are the roles for husbands and wives? What are the roles for husbands and wives? Now before we dive into the message, I want to help us in this introduction.

There are several, quite a few influences that have impacted the proper roles for husbands and wives. There are many influences, quite a few influences, several influences that have impacted the proper roles for husbands and wives, yes, even in the church. The first influence is the feminist movement. Many of us are familiar with the feminist movement. We would probably do you some good to go home and do a little research on the feminist movement just to see how evil it is. And the feminist movement wants more than equal pay for women. The feminist movement is anti-bible, anti-God, anti-family, and listen, men, it is anti-man.

It is infiltrated every corner of our culture and it has even come into the church as well. I do not have time to dive headlong into what the feminist movement has done and how it has impacted our churches, but it has. Second, there is the desire of families to want more. Let's face it, we live in an increasingly materialistic culture. The houses our parents and grandparents worked 30 years to attain, many want in just four or five years of marriage. These influences have led many families to jettison biblical roles for the husband and wife and to adopt worldly pragmatic roles which have been extremely destructive to the family.

So this morning we are still holding on to our lengthy message title. I know we are looking at the family, our fundamental foundation, obstacles to the family, and this is a part two because part one was we were looking at dealing with the lost spouse and in part two we are looking at what are the roles for the husband and for the wife. You see the truths that we are going to explore. These are going to be straight out of the book of Titus. We are going to look at some other verses and again like I said earlier, we will look at Proverbs 31. We are going to look at wives, they must love their families.

We are going to look at wives, must be of quality character. Then we will look at wives must be home centered and then wives must be subject to their husbands. Let's look at our verses in Titus. I am going to start reading in verse three and we will go on down to verse five. Colossae says, "Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious dovesips nor enslaved too much wine, teaching what is good." Now notice it starts to change that they may encourage the young women and then notice this instruction, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands that the word of God may not be dishonored.

Now if you are familiar with these teachings, these passages, you will know there is a lot of teaching concerning older men, older women, younger women and younger men. But this morning we are going to focus on the wives and then later we will focus on the men. So let's dive into these verses. Let's notice truth number one, wives must love their families. Go back to the scriptures. The end of verse four, encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children. Now one might hear this teaching or this command from Paul and might say, "Well pastor, that's pretty obvious. That's very elementary.

We should know that by now." Now we must remember the context. Remember that this writing is taking place, this correction is taking place in first century Greek culture and many marriages in first century Greek culture were not built on a mutual love. Many husbands had wives for domestic duties, for bearing children and for physical or sexual needs. The physical needs were optional if you study first century Greek culture because many husbands had concubines and other outlets to meet their physical needs. So this command to love was gigantic. It was enormous for many wives who were coming from this cultural setting.

Really and truly many of them would have heard this writing and said, "You mean to tell me I've got to love my husband when he is completely disjointed and separated from me?" So we've got to have a little bit of an understanding about the cultural context. Now let's make two observations here. First, there must be a love for their husbands. We see that plainly in the verse. All the translations that we study read the same thing. Here Paul is stating that young wives are to love their husbands unconditionally. This is based on God's will and not on her feelings or the husband's worthiness.

This is not speaking of a physical or a sexual love, but the wife choosing to love her husband. Again, remember the context. Whether he chose to love her, Paul is saying she must choose to love him. And second, the other command is that wives are to love their children. Here the command is the same. This command is given concerning the children. Wives are to love their children unconditionally, not based on feelings and not based on the child's worthiness. So here it is obvious that Paul is writing to wives within the family unit. He's not just writing to young women, he's writing to young wives.

Some say that Paul gives this instruction first because he is placing a high value on the Christian family. Now I don't have a problem believing that. Even though Paul was not married, he did place a high value in the Christian marriage. Now in application, we must see several things. First of all, we must see that a wife must love their husband no matter the circumstances. We might not be coming out of first century Greek culture, but we are coming out of the culture and we must love our wives. Wives must love their husbands. I thought about it in several arenas. First of all, wives must love their husbands in arranged marriages.

You might say, "Pastor, I have never seen an arranged marriage in all of my born days." All you have to do is travel to other cultures and you will see that. I know that as our friend, Luke Johnson, ministers there in India, he deals with Christians who come from arranged marriages. When I was there in India for a short period of time, I heard them speaking about arranged marriages and they used a term, they called it a love marriage. Occasionally, there are couples and they get married because they are in love like we would say. But there are some who get married because it is purely an arranged marriage.

That is very prevalent in many different cultures. That's foreign to us, but you must ponder that commandment in light of a situation like that. Second, the wives are to love their husbands in the case of a lost spouse. Have we not learned that? If you determine or come to the conclusion that your spouse is lost, your husband is lost, you must love that husband unconditionally. No matter how worthy you may think he is of your love. Third, wives are to love their husbands in circumstances of dramatic change. Let me give you some examples.

What happens if your husband comes home and says, "Sweetheart, I hate to break the news to you, but I have lost my job." Or what happens when your husband comes home and says that there have been terrible financial changes in my job and my paycheck is cut by a third or cut in half or, "Sweetheart, I must take another job where I will make far less than I used to." Or what happens if you come to the place in your marriage where you realize you cannot have children and by medical technology today, you realize that the problem is with your husband. What happens if you come to the place where your husband has health problems?

Or what happens if your husband is involved in an accident and he has a major disability? You see what I'm saying? No matter the circumstances, no matter if you're married to a lost husband, or physical things take place, changes take place, no matter what Paul is saying, young wives love your husbands. This is unconditional and it is an act of the will. Then also we must see that wives must love their children within the marriage. I thought about some other ways to apply this. First of all, wives are to love their biological children.

You might say, "Pastor, that's pretty obvious and pretty easy." You know we know people and we have people who experience adoption. Wives are to love adopted children just as much as they would love their biological children. We do know that there are situations in our culture where people are divorced and remarried. In that case, wives are to love those stepchildren. We also see that if someone were to have a child in their marriage and there is a physical or a mental disability, they must love that child as well.

Then also, no matter their ability or inability, no matter how gifted or how un-gifted you might think they are, wives, young women are to love their children. I think you see where I'm going. I think you understand what Paul is teaching. No matter the circumstances, what Paul is saying here to those Christian women through Titus, wives must love their families. Remember the culture? We had women, families, men and women coming to Christ out of this Greek culture where the family was in shambles according to the biblical standard.

In our day, we are fighting against, listen, an unbiblical, unchristian standard, but wives must love their families unconditionally. Second, let's move on. Wives must be of quality character. Look at verse 5, "Encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible and pure." Now, last week when we were in 1 Peter 3, we learned that the Christian wives should focus on inner spiritual beauty. In their first century Greek culture, women focused on lavish, prideful physical adornments and Peter was teaching that Christian women should work hard on being godly women.

And here, Paul is speaking to that need as well. The need for an inner beauty and for inner Christian character. Two observations, she must be sensible. Some translations read self-control. The English standard reads self-control. You can say it like this, she must be self-controlled. This word speaks of good judgment or what we call common sense. This is a quality which should be in the lives of elders as well. We see in chapter 1, verse 8. One commentator that I read said that this should be an increasing quality as the wife gets older. Then second, she is to be pure. The King James reads chaste.

This word speaks of moral purity within the marriage. Here Paul is addressing the wife within the family so it is obvious that he is commanding young wives to remain faithful in their marriage and to remain pure sexually. Remember the context. They were coming out of a pagan immoral culture and he is saying you are to be sensible, self-controlled and to be pure. Now it seems that these two qualities are tied together. In the context of marriage, Paul is teaching young married wives to remain pure and faithful and to exercise self-control.

He is commanding them to exercise self-control in keeping their physical desires under control and within the confines of that marriage. Now an application. This is the opposite of what we see in our culture and especially from entertainment. What I mean by that is in our culture, entertainment and movies and television, those famous people teach and demonstrate the complete opposite of what we learn here. We see that Christian women, Christian wives are to exercise self-control and to maintain purity within that marriage. And listen, purity and self-control in these areas is becoming more and more rare.

Divorce runs rampant even within people within the lives of the church and immorality runs rampant even within people in the church. And what Paul is saying to those Christian wives, he is saying you must be of quality character. Let's move on and let's notice truth number three. We see that wives, Christian wives must be home-centered. Let's go back to the end of verse four again and go back into verse five. "Encourage, train the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible and pure workers at home." Now the New American Standard in the English Standard Version read workers at home.

The King James reads keepers at home. Now if you go all the way back to the original language, it reads to be busy at home. Now automatically this brings up the debate of women working outside of a home. There are some that have no problem at all with women working outside the home like their husband or like men, while others do not feel that a woman should work outside the home at all. Now to deal with this debate properly, we must see what Paul is teaching. And we will move on over into Proverbs. And notice, Paul is not focusing so much on the woman's place as much as her responsibility and that is for the home.

Paul is saying her focus, her heart, her love is to be for the home. I'm going to borrow some language from John MacArthur. John MacArthur says, "But the home is the wife's special domain and always should be her highest priority." Paul is saying the young wife's domain is the home. It is a special domain and it should always be her highest priority. Now question, what would be the biblical evidence to this approach? And I'm going to make clearer my approach. First of all, again examine Paul's teaching. He is emphasizing the woman's responsibility and that is to her home, to her husband, and to her children.

That is her heart, that is her domain, that is her love. Her heart, her affections, and her domain consists of her commitment to her husband, her children, and her home. That's what Paul is teaching. But also notice we see the same thing within Proverbs 31. Now if you are clearly marked to go to Proverbs, you can turn there. I don't want to lose you by having you flip around. But we see the famous Proverbs 31 woman come on the scene, especially in verse 10. Now I'm not going to read these verses. I'm going to refer to them. But within the Proverbs 31 woman, her emphasis, her responsibility is obvious here and that is a love for her home.

I want you to see in verses 13 through 15 that she works very hard for the home. What does it say? She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight. She is like a merchant ship. She brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household. So what do we see? She works very hard in the home. Also we see that she loves her husband. Notice verse 11. The heart of her husband trusts her and he will have no lack of gain. Now that's speaking about how the husband thinks of his wife, but that is indicative of a love for the husband. Then notice verse 28. Her children rise up and bless her.

Her husband also and he praises her saying. Again, this speaks of her love for her husband. So she dearly loves her husband. Then also we see that she loves her children. She works hard for her children. We've already seen she rises very early for her children. And then verse 8 says that her children rise up and bless her. And then also we see that she does have interest outside of the home and we see this in verses 16 through 39. Notice the verses. She considers a field and buys it. From her earnings she plants a vineyard. She guards herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She senses that her gain is good.

Her lamp does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands, the staff and her hands grasp the spindle. So what do we see here? She does have an interest outside the home, but these interests are for the home and do not take away from the home. Her interests are not for a career, but her interests are for a home. Her domain is her home. Her highest priority is her home and her career is not her highest priority. And that is right in line with what we see Paul saying. Paul is placing an emphasis on her love and on her responsibility and that is her home. The Christian young woman's domain and her highest priority should be the home.

So here we see that the domain for the wife is the home. She is to be home centered, loving her husband and loving her children. She is to be like the Proverbs 31 woman working hard for the home. She is to be a helpmate for her husband, caring for her children, caring for and preparing for the home and for the family. Now an application I want to take some time here. And I want to give you some insight and this is based on some of my observations from the Scriptures, my observations in others' lives and in my experience in the life of the church.

Now I want to say this, I want to say that this could be an incomplete list, but I want you to hear me and I want you to hear my heart. First of all, I want to give you reasons why some women should not work outside the home. First reason, some women have a large number of children. Listen, if you have a large number of children and I'm not going to give a number, listen, that is work enough. I know that in our home when we had two little ones at home, that was a full time job. And so I want to say women who have a large number of children, in my opinion, should not work outside the home. Also I think about women who have small children.

Small children are a 24/7 job. Then also women who are homeschooling. We have many women in the life of our church. We have many families who are in homeschooling and I admire them and I look up to them. I have people in my family who are homeschoolers. And that is a full time job plus some. Also I think about women who battle health problems. We do remember that women are the weaker muscle and there are some women who do battle health problems and I believe that some of those should not work outside the home at all. And then also the husband who does not want his wife to work outside the home. And a wife should be subject to that leadership.

Remember she is to be subject to her husband in all things. There are some husbands they do not want their wife to work outside the home at all. And then there are those who have a personal conviction, a personal conviction that women or wives should not work outside the home. Now this could be an incomplete list but what I'm trying to show you is there are some women who should not work outside the home at all. But then also I want to give you reasons why some women should work outside the home. One that I've seen people deal with is death. I've known people who have struggled with death. They have incurred great death.

And there comes a place where that death has to be dealt with. There is a death within the family that is overwhelming, it's great. And under the leadership of the husband they come to the place where they feel like that death needs to be addressed and that's the only way. Yes, I believe a woman should work to alleviate and help alleviate that death. Also I think about the death of a husband. Sometimes there comes a place where a wife or a woman loses her husband. And yes, she should most likely step up and go to work and meet those needs. I think about a situation of a divorce. I've seen many women battle this.

Their husband leaves them and a lady, a wife finds themselves in a divorce situation and maybe they have children and there are no family to assist and they should go work and not be a burden on society. I think about the situation of desertion. There are sometimes wives, they come to a place where their husbands leave them. And again, that wife, that young mother or that mother should not be a burden and she might need to go out and work to provide. Also I think about the situation of a disability. I've known families where their husbands were involved in an accident and they were disabled.

And literally the wife had to go out and work and take up the slack because there were needs. And then I have known women who should work because they are being submissive to their husbands. Their husbands want them to work. Now I say this to husbands, be real careful here because I believe that a husband can require his wife to be submissive in a way that is contrary to the scriptures and detrimental to the family. Now again, this is an incomplete list. What am I showing you? There are legitimate reasons why a wife should not work and there are legitimate reasons why a wife should work. Now an application again.

This does not look the same for everyone, but in every situation behind the scene we must find that a wife, a young mother, submissive to our husband, children in the home, we must find in every situation Christian wives being completely and totally responsible to our home. They love the home. They love the husband. They love the children and their heart is in the home. She loves her husband. She loves her children and the home above everything. She is her husband's helpmate. She is her children's greatest caregiver and next to the husband and they are the greatest influence in the home. So the litmus test is, is the wife home centered?

Is her domain the home? And is the home her highest priority and within that home is her husband and is her children and providing a home for them that highest priority. Let's continue. Truth number four, wives must be subject to their husbands. Let's go back to the verses. Again I'm going to pick up at the end of verse four. Teaching what is good that every, that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands. The English Standard reads submissive.

Here we see that all Christian wives, whether they are older or younger, should be in submission to their husbands. We have learned this in our previous messages, but we see that her submission should come not out of duty, but we see here that it should come out of love. A love for her husband, a love for her children, and a love for her home. Her home is her domain and she serves her husband and she loves her children and she serves the home and is submissive to the home out of love. Now an application. Wives, you must submit to your husband's leadership, but husbands, how are you leading? Are you leading to have a home biblically based?

Are you leading to have a home that functions biblically? Are you leading your wife to submit to your leadership and your heartbeat is to have a home that functions and is ordered biblically? Now in conclusion, as we move away from the scriptures, dealing and learning about the biblical role for the home, for the wives, it's extremely important. I want you to notice the context of this teaching. First, go back to verses 3 through 4. Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good that they may encourage the young women.

Listen, the older women within the church are to teach and are to train the younger women. You see the context? This is the church. This is older women modeling, being great examples, training and teaching and encourage younger women. And listen, younger women, you can learn from older Christian women. And older women make sure that your example is biblical, is scriptural. Younger women make sure that the older women you emulate are biblically based, are scripturally based, and they are good examples. And we must be very careful here, but notice the context is the church. Then second, notice verse 5.

Again, Paul says, "For this reason I left you in Crete, that you may set in order what remains." So what do we see here? Paul, an apostle, a church father, is writing to Titus an elder and he is on the island of Crete dealing with multiple churches and within the churches there are people. And look, Titus is ministering to people and he's ministering to the women, he's ministering to the older and the younger women, and he's ministering in the church. And so the context here is the church.

And younger women are to be taught by older women, they are to be examples, and the elders in the life of the church are to teach these truths within the church. So the context of this learning is the church. Now, as your pastor, as an elder trying hard to shepherd the flock, remember our 1 Peter passage trying to shepherd the flock and oversee the flock. I am giving you, we are giving you teaching, we are giving you protection, and we are giving you guidance. We are giving you correction, we are giving you encouragement, and we are leading you according to the Word of God. I want to speak to you as your pastor in some of these areas.

First of all, we need to be very, very careful about our wives working outside the home. There are Christian women in many churches today who focus on careers, paychecks, and benefits while the home is neglected, overlooked, and it turns into chaos for the children and for the home, and then notice at the end of verse 5 that the Word of God may not be dishonored. There are many homes that are Christian homes that dishonor the Word of God because they are in error in this way.

We know that the Proverbs 31 woman did exercise outside of the home, but she was home-centered and anything she did outside of the home was for the home and it did not pull her away from the home. It did not pull her away from her love for her husband. It did not pull her away from her role as a helpmate. It did not pull her away from her role as the primary caregiver of her children. It did not pull her away from her duties in her home. We need to be very, very, very careful here. This is an area of our lives personally that we have been very prayerful about. We do not just take any old job.

My wife does work outside of the home, but it does not pull away from our home. It does not pull away from our children. This time in our life, it is necessary for my wife to work, and my wife works where my children are. This is something that we have been very, very prayerful about. My wife, we have had job opportunities that we have turned down because it would pull my wife away from me, her being my helpmate, away from our children and her dedication to our home. We take this very seriously. We need to be really, really careful about our children. We need to be very careful about who is nurturing our children.

The wife and the husband are to be the primary nurturers for the children, and we cannot outsource that nurturing. We must nurture our little ones. We do not look for anyone else to be the primary caregivers of our children. We do not look for the church to be the primary givers of our children. We do not look for our extended family to be the primary caregivers of our children. I must be a husband, and I must be a father, and my wife must be a wife and a mother where we give spiritual Christian nurturing to our children, and you must work hard to do the same. Third, men, we need to reevaluate even our jobs.

Our approach to our families, we must reevaluate how we lead our wives. We must evaluate our expectations for our wives, and we must evaluate our financial goals. Is our approach as men, is our approach as husbands, so that our wives can be committed to the home? Do we expect our wives to make the home their domain? Is our expectation that our wives be our helpmate and that our wives be the anchor of our home? And men, we need to seriously evaluate our jobs and our approach. Again, I speak of our experience. I've sat down at lunch meetings with men who have offered me jobs.

Better pay, better benefits that would have pulled me away from this church. I've dealt with job opportunities that would pull me away from my home. I turned them down because of my commitment to my family and my commitment to our ministry. Now I don't say that to you as being prideful. I don't say that to you in a braggadocious manner. Brother Keith knows the labor in prayer and the diligence in seeking to know God's will. And he knows better than anybody the sacrifices that we've made and that I've made to be committed to my wife and my family and the church. So I'm not asking you men to make any sacrifice most likely that I have not made.

It's very tempting when a man sits down with you at a lunch meeting and offers you a wonderful job that you could probably double and triple your salary. It's very difficult when your boss looks at you and says, "Well guys, we've got to go out of town to work." Now I'm not against a man working out of town. Those are difficult things. But what I'm showing you is, is these decisions need to be made prayerfully and according to the word of God. And listen men, we are leading our wives and our families and we need to be very, very careful in these decisions.

And I firmly believe some men within the lives of our churches need to reevaluate our financial goals and our expectations from our wives. I think that some need to reevaluate their approach to their children and who's nurturing their children. And I believe there are some within many churches and their wives need to jettison certain jobs and be committed to the home and the family and the husband and be that caregiver and the help me. Why? Because this is God's authority. His word and His plan and His instruction and it's not our ideas and our expectations and our feelings that matter. What matters is what God's word says.

Now inevitably some of the things that I have taught and said have stirred up questions. Years ago I heard as an old famed Southern Baptist evangelist, long since been dead, Manly Beasley, he said good preaching doesn't answer all the questions that stirs up a few. And I know that I have stirred up some questions in you, but that is our job to call you to evaluate your lives and your homes according to the word. And if you need counsel, if you need guidance, if you need prayer, if there are questions that we need to help you answer, Brother Keith and I are at your disposal. Now what are we looking at? The family, our fundamental foundation.

If we don't have the family right, listen, the foundation of the home, the children, the church and society is destroyed. That's why I've held onto that lengthy title. The family, our fundamental foundation. In the American family, the family within the life of the church faces many obstacles. And the obstacle that we're facing is, what are the roles of husbands and wives? Let's pray. Lord Jesus, help us as Christians, help us as men.