Obstacles to the Family part 2 cont.

We'll take your Bible this morning, turn with me to the book of Titus. The book of Titus, you should know where Titus is. We were there in Titus last week. If you have trouble, you have difficulty finding that passage or that book. If you hit first and second Timothy, just go one book over to the right. If you land to the little book of Philemon, you're close. If you get to Hebrews and James, go back to the left. Many of you are familiar with James. We spent quite a bit of time there. I think it was about 30 plus messages. So the book of James should be well-worn in your Bible.

Titus, we will be in chapter two, and we will look at verses six through eight. Although I will reference Ephesians five, those verses that we were in previously, and I'll reference a verse or two from last week. It should be easy for you to keep up with our verses. Like I have said so many times, I do encourage you to take notes. I encourage you to develop that discipline, develop that habit. It's a great resource for you in the future, as well as helping you learn today and right now. Now, we started our series on the family with what I have called foundational messages.

We were in Genesis chapter one, two, and three, and there in Ephesians five. That's where the title of these messages come from. The family, our fundamental foundation. Those first messages were meant to be foundational. We needed to get those messages so that we could move on into some of the material that we have been looking at. Then we moved into what I have called obstacles to the family. Our first obstacle was dealing with a lost spouse. If you remember, I brought that to you in the form of a question. That question was, how do I deal with a lost spouse? I thought that teaching was very practical.

I think that teaching is very real because there are people in the life of the church, not just our church, but many churches who deal with a lost spouse. I've seen that through my many years of ministry and even in my time as a layman before God called me in the ministry. That is a real problem that some face. Whether you know it or not, it is a very difficult problem for some to face. Some will live with an unbelieving spouse and they have a good marriage, but yet some live with an unbelieving spouse and they have a very difficult time.

I want to ask you as a brother and a sister in Christ, as a friend, I want to ask you as God has called you to be here, if you know people who are having to wade through those waters to be very much in prayer for them. That can be the trial of trials in life. That can be the most difficult thing that one could face. Last week we started examining our second obstacle. It was in the form of a question as well. And I put that question like this, what are the roles for the husband and the wife? What are the roles for the husband and the wife? We really need to see that this teaching is very much needed in the life of the church today.

This is a real problem. It's a real problem in our culture. It's a real problem in many of our churches because culture has impacted the church, the American culture, American feminism has infiltrated the church, but this is part of that open attack from the enemy on the church, on God's people, on the word of God. And these biblical roles need to be dealt with properly and they need to be assimilated into our lives and into our families. Now last week we focused on the wife and we focused on the role of the Christian wife in the home. It's not about what cultures taught you. We must run from what the culture says.

It's not about maybe what your mother or your father taught you. It's not about what they modeled for you. Many times some of our greatest hindrances are our immediate families. It's a sad thing, but that is a reality. It's not about what your friends have taught you. It's not about how you feel. It's not about what you want.

You see, there are many reasons why we can have problems with the roles of the husband and the wife, but the husbands and the wives must decide and we must decide whether we're going to approach the roles according to God's word, which leads us back to what we've been looking at, one word all through these verses, authority. We must decide if we're going to be under the authority of God's word and the authority of God. And we must live under the authority of God's word. And if we do not live under the authority of God's word, what happens to the family? We have chaos, we have calamity, we have dysfunctionalism and even destruction.

So if we are born again Christians, if we truly love the Lord, if we truly want to be in obedience to the word of God and the God that we love, we must do whatever it takes to bring our families under the authority of the word. Now this morning I want to turn our attention to the husbands and I want us to look at the role of the husband within the marriage and within the home. Now I am keeping that rather lengthy message title, but we've transitioned to the obstacles. We're looking at family, our fundamental foundation, obstacles to the family part two. This is a continuation because we're looking at the roles.

We looked at the wives last week where now we're looking at the husbands this week. Remember that question for that second obstacle. One of the roles for husband and for the wife. And like I said earlier this morning we're going to focus on the husband. On the husband. Let's look at the text together back in our chapter, chapter two of the book of Titus. We saw that teaching of the older women to the younger women and then notice the transition in verse six. Likewise, remember Paul's writing to Titus. Titus is there in Crete on the island of Crete. He's ministering to those churches. Likewise urge the young men to be sensible.

In all things show yourselves to be an example of good deeds with purity and doctrine dignified, sound and speech which is beyond reproach in order that the opponent may be put to shame having nothing bad to say about us. Now those are our main verses. We're going to go back and grab a verse out of our verses from last week and like I said we're going to look at or allude to our passages from Ephesians five. Now last week I emphasized the authority of Paul as an apostle. Remember how I wanted you to see Paul's authority.

If Paul were to come physically in the door of our church, walk down our isles as an apostle, one chosen of God, chosen of Christ. He had the office as an apostle, an early church father. He had the authority, he would have the authority to exercise over us. Now Paul physically isn't here with us but he is with us in the writing of the word of God but this morning I want to focus on Titus because what has Paul done? Paul has placed Titus there on the island of Crete as an elder and he is telling Titus what to do. But what do we see? Titus is to be an example. Look at verse seven.

"In all things show yourselves to be an example." Titus is to be an example to the church, to the churches, to the older women, younger women, to the older men and the younger men. Here in verse six, Paul tells Titus to urge, the King James says, "Exhort to teach, to urge, to exhort the young men." So as an elder in the church, Titus is to teach the young men and he is to serve as an example to all of the church and especially these young men. So what do we see? We see Titus is teaching and Titus is our example and you see the main truths that are before us. So let's dive into these truths.

Truth number one, a husband must provide for his family. A husband must provide for his family. Now I'm going to go back a little and I want us to go back all the way to verse five from our verses from last week. Again, this is Titus, Paul speaking to the younger women and the older women. The older women are to teach the younger women and what do we see here in verse five? What does the scripture say? Younger women, they are to be sensible, pure, workers at home. So what do we see? We are being reminded, I'm reminding you of the wife's role and that is to be home-centered.

Last week we learned this is not only from Paul in the New Testament but this is from that famous Proverbs 31 verses the Proverbs 31 woman in the Old Testament. So both New Testament and Old Testament, we learned that the wife's domain, her highest priority, her highest love must be the home. I borrowed that language from John MacArthur, her highest priority, her domain and that is very accurate. That's what we see taught here in Titus and that's what we see in Proverbs 31. But I want to ask you a question. What is her motivation?

Why would a woman make, why would a wife, a young mother, a young lady, why would she make the home her highest domain and her highest priority? As far says that she is to love her husband and her children and this comes out of a great love for God and God's word. You see how it works? These Christian young women as they love the Lord, as they serve God and they love the word of God, a natural outflow is that they would love their husbands, love their children and they would love their home. That is their motivation.

And it is her joy to pour herself into her family and enter her home because it is her highest priority and it is her special domain. Now this poses a question. If the wives are to be workers at home, then who is to go out and to provide for the family? It's the husband. There is an obvious implication here as well as in Ephesians chapter 5 verses 25 and 28. Remember those verses? The husband is to love the wife as Christ loved the church and in those verses the husband is to provide, the scripture teaches. So we see that coming out of the heart of Paul and Ephesians and coming out of the heart of Paul and Titus here in the book of Titus.

So I want to bring this back to application for you, for me, for us. And I have a question. And I have a question for you husbands. Do you see yourself as the provider for the family? Are you assuming that responsibility and making adequate provision for your family? That's what we see here. The wife, our highest domain, her highest priority is the home and therefore the husband is to go out and to provide for the family. That is the husband's responsibility and we must see that we have that responsibility given by God. It was modeled in the Old Testament in Genesis chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3.

Now we did learn last week that the scripture does not specifically forbid a woman from working outside the home as long as she fulfills her priorities within the home. We saw this in the Proverbs 31 woman. Although she did venture out, what she did out of the home was to pour back into the home. She was not career minded, she was home minded. But this does not release the husband. It does not release you husbands from your responsibility of being a provider. That brings me back to what I said earlier in the form of a question. Do you see yourself as the provider for the family?

And are you assuming that responsibility and making adequate provision for your family? Now we know there are cases when there are mothers, wives, women who do not have a husband to provide. Remember, we dealt with several circumstances, the situation of desertion, maybe the situation of divorce. There are women who find themselves, they love the Lord and their husband leave, the husband leaves them, they find themselves in a divorce situation. Through our years of ministry, my wife and I have camped for women who did not want a divorce. They wanted a Christian marriage, but they could not stop that from happening.

And they found themselves all along with children and they had to operate outside of the home. We've known people who dealt with the disability of a husband. I have friends who have dealt with physical disability. And in many cases, in a physical disability, a husband cannot provide. And then we also have the situation where a woman can lose her husband to death. So what am I showing you? I'm showing you that there are times when there is no husband to be that provider, but the point that we're trying to see here is the husband must provide for the family. That is his ultimate responsibility.

Number two, we see that he must possess quality character. Quality character. Go back to verse six. Likewise, urge the young men to be sensible. Here we see where Titus is teaching. Titus is teaching in verse six. It says urge. And also he is an example. So he's speaking, he's teaching, and he is a living example. Now in the original, this word example means a pattern or a type. Titus was to be that pattern. He was to be that type. He was to be that example for them. Go back to the verse. Likewise, urge the young men to be sensible. And then in verse seven, "And all things show yourself as an example." So teach them and be an example.

And he is dealing in verse six with quality character. The English Standard reads self-controlled. The King James reads sober-minded. Now the idea is that the young men should be exercising self-restraint in many areas of their lives. They should be sober-minded to King James, which speaks of possessing a clear mind and exercising clear thinking. So there are two main areas that this specifically applies that we see here in the text. Because a lot of people would say, where does this sober-minded, where does this quality character, where is this fleshed out?

First there are some Bible commentators that say that this applies to false teaching, which it affected the churches there that Timothy or Titus was dealing with, the Christian churches. Chapter one, verse five says that Titus was to set things in order in the church. Verse ten indicates that there were false teachers of a Jewish background influencing the churches. So we know that Titus is dealing with false teachers, false teaching. We know that. So some say that this could be applied in the area of unsound doctrine and bad teaching. Second, there are some that say this teaching speaks about sexual purity.

These Christian Christians were coming from an immoral society. Verse twelve, Paul is quoting a well-known Christian philosopher in which he gives a very indicting assessment of the character of those from Crete. Now what do we see here? What is Paul saying? What is Titus dealing with? Is it bad doctrine? Is it immorality? What is it? I do believe that this is applied to both and even more. These young Christian men were to possess a very valuable commodity and that was a quality Christian character. They were to be clear thinking. They were to exercise self-restraint in an unrestrained society.

It was an immoral society and they were being converted out of that society. And there was the influx of false teaching. So I believe that it pertains to these two situations and even more. They were to be clear thinking. They were to exercise self-restraint. They were to have good quality character making good sound decisions no matter what came their way. Now, an application. I believe this is a foundational character quality that is a must for young husbands or older husbands. We must be clear thinking. We must exercise self-restraint. We must be of quality character in line with the word of God.

We must be self-controlled in any temptation that could come our way whether it be a temptation of immorality, whether it be a temptation from bad influences on our marriages and on our homes and on our children and our spouses, whether it be from bad doctrine that might come in the life of the church. Listen, it's not about always knowing the bad influences. It's about developing quality character according to the word of God and exercising self-restraint. So what may come our way may be dealt with with clear thinking. That's what Paul is dealing with. That's what Titus is dealing with. Young men must possess quality character.

We desperately need that in the lives of our husbands today. Let's continue. Let's move on and let's notice the next main truth. Our next main truth is this, that husbands must possess good works. Husbands must possess good works. We see this in verse 7. What does Paul say? "In all things, show yourselves to be an example of good deeds." To be an example of good deeds. The English standard in the King James read good works. Here Paul is placing an emphasis on Titus' responsibility of being an example. Go back to the text. "In all things, show yourselves to be an example of good deeds." This is a pattern for young men.

Timothy is the pattern, is the example, as well as the teacher. Excuse me, not Timothy, but Titus. This speaks of the common everyday things of life. These Christian Christians were coming out of first century Greek culture, which was soaked with polytheism and immorality. It was anti-Christian in almost every way. Paul was setting Timothy up. He was setting Timothy, or excuse me, Titus up to be an example to these churches and these Christians. Husbands must possess good works. Now, remember the context. The context is the church. Paul is setting Titus up as an example, as a pattern, as a type, in contrast to who?

Those false teachers who had infiltrated the church and he was to teach these things to the young husbands within the church. Let me go back to chapter 1, verse 16. What do we see here? They profess to know God, but by their deeds they deny Him, being detestable and disobedient and worthless for any good deed. Who is Paul talking about? He's talking about those false teachers. Verse 10, "For there are many rebellious men, empty talkers and deceivers." So what we see here is Paul is setting Titus up as an example in contrast of these false teachers that do not have any good deeds, verse 16 says. And so, notice Paul's heart.

Paul is saying, "Titus, you must teach, but you must live these things out. In your life, you must possess good deeds, good works in everyday things." So here Paul is writing to Titus to serve, not just to teach, to demonstrate, not just to speak, to be an example, a living example, not just to preach, in living a life full of good deeds. Now in application, I want to say some things and I want to say these things in a very humble way. This is exactly what Brother Keith and I, this is exactly what our families have tried to model to you. You remember our passage out of 1 Peter chapter 5 verses 1 through 3?

Peter tells those elders that they are to be examples at the end of verse 3 to who? To the church. As you exercise oversight, as you teach, as you shepherd alongside your people, Peter says be examples to the flock. And that is exactly what Brother Keith and I have desired to do. And let me give you three examples. Good deeds, good Christian deeds. First of all, we've tried to do good deeds to those who are in distress in our community. Some might say the poor, some might say the outcast. There are different adjectives that you could use, but they're not outcasts, they're people.

They're families and they're children that God has put in our lives. Many of them we have assimilated into our church and we have sought to assimilate them into our families, opening up our home that they may see what a Christian husband is and a Christian wife is, what a Christian man is and a Christian woman is. We have desire to lead out in ministering to those within our community as the Lord allows and we have sought to be an example to you that we might teach you those things by the way we live. Another way we've sought to be examples to you is doing good deeds in the church. What is our motivation? What is my motivation?

How much brother Keith's motivation? I believe our motivation is what we looked at in 1 Peter chapter 5. Not lording over you, not for sored gain, the King James says. No, we do these things because we love the Lord, we are exercising our call, we love the church, we love you, we love your husband, we love your wife, we love your children, we love your family, we love your extended family and we do good deeds in the church because we love the Lord and we love the church and we love you. We don't see it as service, we see it as life.

If it means picking up the trash, if it means cutting the grass, if it means doing things that you don't know anything about and some of you begin to see those things. Why do we do these good deeds? Just because it's not about position, it's not about pay, it's not about what we can get, it's about the church and the bride of Christ and the call of God on our lives. That becomes contagious. Third, we do good deeds in your lives, in your lives. We do good deeds as opportunities may come our way. I have had sometimes some of you say, "Well, you can't do that." I usually use the same phrase.

My dad is older in his older years and he gives me things, does things for me and I'll say, "Dad, you can't do that." He'll say, "You can't stop me." And I usually can't. And I have said that tongue in cheek to some of you when you said, "You don't need to do that." I say, "Well, you can't stop me." If we want to minister to you, we want to minister to you and we love you. We have sought to be a part of your lives because listen, you are our brothers and our sisters in Christ and we seek to do more. Why? Because listen, we love the church and we love the brothers and sisters in Christ.

We love the work of the church and what am I taking this time to show you? We must be and we seek to be examples to you and listen, especially to our young men and as I have sought to spend time with some of our young men, I've done that out of love and out of a desire and I've done that purposely and look and in many ways, Brother Keith and I want to replicate ourselves in you. So husbands must possess good works and hopefully some of the things that we do and we begin to do will rub off on you and chances are if they do, you will begin to do them even better than we do. Number four, husbands must produce or possess sound doctrine.

Go back to verse seven, "And all things show yourselves to be an example of good deeds with purity and doctrine." Now the English Standard reads, "In your teaching show integrity." The King James reads, "In doctrine showing uncorruptness." All teaching the same thing, different words. Again, Titus was to perform a two-fold work here and that was serving as a pattern in teaching, exemplifying sound doctrine and teaching sound doctrine to the church and to these young men. Now remember the context again. The churches on the island have been influenced by unsound doctrine.

Judaism, a form of Judaism, it seems like Gnosticism, a legalistic Jewish form of Christianity, if I can explain it that way, has crept into these churches. This was something that Paul dealt with with the Galatian churches. We see that in chapter one, verses 10 and 11. These were false teachers and there was a problem from this Jewish element in the church. This was common. Paul had to deal with the Judaizers in many places. And listen, this is a common theme throughout almost all of the epistles dealing with unsound doctrine, a radical doctrine. But what is the purpose?

The context is the church and Paul is saying that young husbands must possess sound doctrine, Titus teach it and then exemplify it. Now what are the purposes here? First, Titus was to possess sound doctrine to be a pattern to these young men. These other false teachers did not do that. What did we see in verse 16? They profess to know God, but by their deeds they deny him, being detestable and disobedient and worthless for any good deed. They were not an example. So when we read that verse, when we look at that verse 7, "And all things show yourself to be an example," that's just not there to be there. That was a serious issue.

These Christians needed a model of sound doctrine. And then suck it, Titus was to teach this sound doctrine. He was to teach it day in and day out, in their homes, in their lives. This was to be embedded into their lives and ultimately what he taught was to be possessed by these young men. That sound doctrine was to be a part of their life and this did not happen overnight. This was hard work. That's why Paul planted him there and he wrote him this letter to encourage him to roll up his sleeves and do a good job here.

So with that said, go back to the verse, "And all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds with purity and doctrine." How you live your life and yes, living your life in sound doctrine. Now in application, you really need to see that that is one of our jobs here. That is one of our jobs. We are to watch out for you and we are to protect you. You might not realize it, but around many corners and right down the road in your life, there are false teachers. There were false teachers around the corner from these Christians and we are to protect you and to watch out for you. That is part of being an overseer.

And then Brother Keith and I are to work hard to teach you, to preach the Word of God. And that's why we say repeatedly, you need to be here. Anytime you are outside of the preaching and the teaching of the Word of God, you are missing out on something that God wants you to get. And you need to be here so that we can take the Word of God and systematically go through the Word of God. That sound doctrine and sound teaching and proper theology would be a part of your life. And let me tell you people, this is hard work. It takes time. It takes effort. It takes study.

This is a tremendous responsibility on our part, but this is also hard work and takes time because it takes time for the Word of God to be embedded in you and it takes time for unsound doctrine and influences that are possibly negative. It takes time for those to be uprooted out of you. This is a process for you and for us. And we desperately need this in the lives of our young men. This is a process that takes hard work and desire on your part. You know, Brother Keith and I can preach and teach to where blue in the face. We can bring in people who can preach and teach the Word and they can work hard.

But listen, if there is no desire and there is no effort on your part, then listen, it just falls in the aisle. And this also takes you sitting here in the church. This takes you attending. This takes you subjecting yourself to the elders and the leaders that God has put before you. Yes, it takes effort on your part. And I want to encourage you young men. I want to encourage you young fathers. I want to encourage you to work hard at becoming the man that God wants you to be. And that's why we are here. Let's move on. Let's notice our next main truth. Number five, they are to produce good speech. Let's look at verse eight.

What do we see in sound in speech, which is beyond reproach. You might not realize it, but verse eight is meant to be read with verse seven, if we know the construction of the language and all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds. And then with purity and sound doctrine, sound in speech. All the translations read the same. Now at first glance, here would assume that Paul is just talking about common everyday speech. In other words, have a clean mouth. But that's not the case. That is not the case. It's far deeper than that. The context of this speech is sound doctrine.

That's why it's important to understand that verse eight is connected to verse seven. And all things show yourselves to be an example of good deeds with purity and doctrine, dignified, sound in speech. And notice this verse, beyond reproach. The opponents here, remember these false teachers, Paul is saying to Titus, have sound doctrinal speech so that these opponents will have nothing to accuse you or me. And so the context of this speech is sound doctrine within the church. Now I want to help us here. I'm going to flesh this out. First, there are those around us who cannot speak of any doctrine.

There are those around us who cannot speak of any doctrine. They cannot witness to their lost loved ones because they cannot clearly articulate man's sinfulness and the gospel. You see what I'm saying? There are people here, they are concerned for their lost mother, their lost father, their lost brother. They are concerned for their lost neighbor. But because they do not have good sound doctrine in their life, they do not have sound speech, good speech. So when they go to that brother or that neighbor and they begin to try to help them, they don't have anything to say.

They cannot clearly articulate man's sinfulness nor the good news and the bad news of the gospel. That's why there are many men who will nod their heads at sermons. They'll say good job preacher, but because they've not worked hard to develop that sound doctrine in their own lives, when it comes down to it, they have nothing to say. Second, there are those who want to talk about doctrine constantly. They focus on one or two things at the expense of much. These men many times will have head doctrine but not hands doctrine. Let me explain the difference. They might have a head full of doctrine, but it cannot be fleshed out in everyday life.

They might have a head full of a few things, but when it comes to practically living out the Christian life, they cannot do it because it's head and not heart. It does not assimilate into who they are. It does not affect their character, their family, and it does not affect others. They have something to say, but they can't do anything. Just with that brief explanation, let me go back to the verse. Verse 7, "And all things show yourselves to be an example of good deeds, common everyday life with purity and sound doctrine being an example. Teach it dignified sound in speech.

You must be a young man who has sound doctrine in your bones and you have something to say in the church and in the culture." So here we see the emphasis on speech is in connection with doctrine. Paul expects Titus to be an example here, to do the hard work of teaching and pressing and implanting sound doctrine into the lives of the young husbands, but these young men have to be responsible to digest it, let it change them, and to grow and therefore have something to say. In application, I want to give you some areas. Brother Keith and I have struggled with this in our years of ministry.

I've known people who would argue you blew in the face as to what you can and can't do on Sunday, but they're hit and miss in attending church. You see what I'm saying? They would argue with you, they would talk with you, they would sit down and they would rebuke you about what you can and can't do on a Sunday. And I believe we should respect the Lord's day. I am not for denigrating the Lord's day to be like any other day. I've never done that nor taught that nor exemplified that. But some would argue and debate with you about what you can and can't do, but they're hit and miss in their commitment to the local church. You see?

That is not exemplifying good speech. I've had people come into my home and try to debate me and correct me about how I am managing my home and how I am raising my children, but yet they would ultimately end up going to a church with terrible doctrine, not good speech. And it's reflective of bad doctrine. I've known some people who will go round and round about certain points of doctrine, but yet ignore the poor and those around them who need the gospel. Now what am I showing you? I'm trying to help you understand what Paul is trying to teach Titus. What Paul is trying to do through Titus.

Paul is saying here, listen, you must develop sound doctrine in these young men and yet it must turn into sound good speech that is reflective of a good, solid life and a sound doctrine. Now, what have we looked at this morning? We've looked at what the husbands must do. They must provide for the family. They must be of quality character. They must be of good works. They must be of sound doctrine and possess good speech that comes out of that good sound doctrine. Now as I conclude, I want to spend a little bit of time in some application, much like I did with the wives and you ladies last week.

You might say, well, pastor, you jumped on us pretty good last week. What about the men? I didn't mean to jump on you. I just wanted to make good application and help you with these truths and I want to do that with us men as well. Now I'm speaking to young husbands. I'm speaking to fathers. I'm speaking to young men. If you're sitting here and you're saying, I'm not married and I don't have children, I'm off the hook. No, this is preparing you for the future. Now three things I want to share and this is not in any particular order. The way I give it, you might say, well, pastor, one of those needs to be first.

If that's the case, you write it down that way. First of all, young men, young husbands, fathers, you are to be the spiritual leader in your home. We've seen that theme constantly through everything we've learned. And look, you cannot and you will not do this unless you are born again. I've seen men try for a little while. They try and they do it in the flesh. They can't because they're not born again. They feel a little guilty because the pastor's preached on certain things. Maybe they've had difficulty. Maybe they've got an erring child or monetary problems and they just try to pull themselves up by the bootstraps. It won't work.

You must be born again. But look, you must be the spiritual leader in your family and you are to be a growing Christian and you must be strong enough. Now look at who you have to lead. You've got to lead your wife. You've got to lead your children and you've got to lead the direction of your home. That's a heavy load. And if you do not lead, your family will flounder and she will suffer. You mark it down. If you do not lead, your family will flounder and she will suffer. And look, do not make your wife have to step in and try to pinch it. You know there are many husbands that do that. They just, well, mama can handle it.

Now we do know that there are some wives. They live in homes with lost husbands and they have to lead. And I do believe God can give them a special grace to do that. But what are we dealing with? We are dealing with husbands and they must be the spiritual leaders in the home. Number two, you are to provide spiritually. You are to provide spiritually. You must provide an environment for your wife and for your children to grow and you are to provide an environment where they can be nurtured spiritually. And let me tell you, there are two places where they must be nurtured spiritually. First in the home and second in the church.

And look, that's why I said in a very bold way, you need to be here. You need to be here every time the doors are open. We have quality programming. We are not filling the calendar with events. The Word is being taught from the preschool all the way up. We are singing truth, going through the Word of God, performing ministry, praying. We are doing the work of the church. And we have provided an environment here where your family can be nurtured. This should also be taking place in your home. And you are to provide a home where they can grow spiritually. Now in every home this looks different.

But look, mom and dad should be examples to the children. They should be teaching the Word. They should be teaching prayer. You should be demonstrating a life and a marriage and a home, life of faith. And look, it all looks different. But the Word should be taught, prayer should be taught, and a Christian life should be exemplified and a life of faith should be obvious. That should be taking place. So husbands are to provide spiritually, provide that environment of church and home. Now I want to issue a warning here. Everybody does this different.

I've heard stories of men who went and took music lessons so as they could play the piano and lead their family in worship. Praise the Lord. But not everybody does those things. I've known people, they do certain things in the mornings and then they do certain things at night. I know people that do certain things at night and they don't do certain things in the morning. However you do it, you do it. It looks different for everybody. But the litmus test is, is the Word of God being taught? Is prayer being taught? Are you being examples to your children? Are you nurturing your wife? And are you nurturing your children spiritually?

Are you providing that environment in the home and in the church? Third, you're to provide physically. Physically. I said this at the beginning of the message. It is our job to provide, and we as husbands are to provide a home, are to provide income, and are to provide adequate possessions. There's certain possessions in our culture that we need. We just need a car. We gotta have a car to get up and down the road, isn't that right? We live somewhere else, we might not need a car. And we are to provide.

First Timothy 5, 8 reads, "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for members of his old household, he is denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." And if you know someone who is a husband, who is a father, and they do not provide, they're worse than an unbeliever. Now I want to give you some warnings quickly. Warnings to young men, husbands and fathers. You need to be committed to the church. I'm repeating, I know, but it needs to be repeated. You need to be committed. And then the second warning is you need to be careful with your job.

I'm afraid there's some guys, they just, some men, they're dealing with the wrong job. Now, I'm not saying that the perfect job is out there for everyone. There are jobs that are detrimental to the family. And look, we must examine these things and know that we have the job that God wants us to have. We must be careful with debt. I believe there are wives who must bear a load financially that they should not bear because the husband has led the family into debt. You would be better off working to pay the debt than not paying the debt. Must be careful of possessions and toys.

I'm afraid some men, some of us guys, you know, we might like our possessions and toys. That can be a detriment to the family. We must be on guard against two extremes. One extreme is not being a leader, not providing. And the other extreme is establishing your own dictatorship. I've seen both. Some of you, some of you men need to be on guard against your extended family. Sometimes mom and dad, and sometimes our in-laws can be our greatest hindrances. But sometimes they can be our greatest assets. These are some warnings that I'm pointing you to in incomplete lists. Now one more thing in closing.

I want to use a common and often heard expression as we close the message. Y'all have all heard this. The buck stops here. This was an expression that was made famous by President Harry Truman. I don't know if you know who Truman was. Harry Truman became president after Franklin Roosevelt died in office. And Truman was famous for giving the order to use the first atomic weapons which ultimately ended our war with Japan during World War II. But President Truman had a little sign on his desk. And on the back of the sign it said, "I am from Missouri." And then on the front side it read, "The buck stops here." It was one of his mottos.

Now what's the meaning of that expression? It's a slang expression. It means the passing of responsibility onto someone else. Listen men. The buck stops with you and the buck stops with me. We cannot pass that responsibility onto our wives, over to our mother-in-laws, to our mothers, to our extended family. We cannot pass that responsibility over to the church. You cannot pass that responsibility over to me, over to a Sunday school teacher. Listen. They might all come in to help, but the buck stops with you. And this is the way it's all going to play out.

When you die and you stand before God, when I die and stand before God, I will be, and you will be accountable for your family. I will be accountable for my family. See? Now what have we looked at? Family are fundamental foundation, obstacles to the family, but what are the roles of husband and wife in these roles when they're out of balance, out of guilt, or out of sort? They are a tremendous obstacle to the family. Let's pray.