The Great Tug of War - Our Troubling Tongue

Back on July the 2nd, 2023, I preached a sermon here entitled, "The Great Tug of War, Fighting the Flesh," based on Galatians chapter 5 verses 16 to 26. In that message we examined the works of the flesh found in that passage and contrasted those works of the flesh with the fruit of the spirit, which were also listed in that same passage. We talked about how if a person is born again, he or she has crucified the flesh, but also that our flesh really doesn't want to stay crucified. I encourage you to look that message up and listen again as a refresher or listen for the first time. Let me know if you need help finding it.

Paul describes that tug of war for us in Romans chapter 7 starting in verse 13. Turn there if you don't mind, Romans chapter 7, and we'll start reading in verse 13 through the end of the chapter. Actually we might peek over into chapter 8 for just a moment. So let's start reading in Romans chapter 7 verse 13. Romans 7 verse 13. Paul says, "Therefore did that which is good become a cause of death for me? May it never be. Rather, it was sin in order that it might be shown to be sin by working out my death through that which is good, so that through the commandments sin would become utterly sinful.

For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am fleshly, having been sold into bondage under sin." Listen now. "For what I am working out, I do not understand. For I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want, I agree with the law that it is good. So now no longer am I the one working it out, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For the willingness present in me, but the working out of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.

But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one working it out, but sin which dwells in me. This is the key part now. I find then the principle that in me evil is present, in me who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in my members, waging war against the law of my mind, and making me a captive to the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

So then on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other with my flesh the law of sin. And here's probably my favorite verse in the whole Bible, Romans 8.1. "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Hallelujah. Thank the Lord for that truth. So the amazing news is that if you've been born again the battle has been won by Christ, and because you are in Him you will experience no condemnation. Christ is born at all. The cup of the Lord's wrath is empty because Christ drank every drop on behalf of those who were born again. Your eternity is secure once and for all.

But as we learn from Paul and from our own Christian experience frankly, although the battle has been ultimately won already, we deal with it every day as we walk on the earth, don't we? Back in 2023 when we looked at fighting the flesh in the great tug of war, we spoke of the flesh in a pretty general way and we defined the flesh as the center of sinful desire within a person. The seat of sinful desires, the place where our sinful desires originate. And Paul also used the word flesh to describe the vehicle through which those sinful desires manifest. Our flesh is the pipeline through which sinful desires become action. Does that make sense?

This morning I want to spend a few minutes getting really specific about one angle of fighting the flesh. About one small piece of flesh actually, and I suppose we can call it our troubling tongue. In fact that's how we'll title this morning's message, "The Great Tug of War, Our Troubling Tongue." The great tug of war, our troubling tongue. Did you know that there are literally multiple hundreds of verses in your Bible that deal with speech? Depending on translation and how you interpret it, it's like somewhere between 350 and 400 or something verses in your Bible dealing with speech. Hundreds. That's staggering.

Literally hundreds of verses providing guidance about the kind of speech that's honorable and praiseworthy, or providing rebuke or warnings for dishonorable or sinful speech. You reckon God cares about the words you speak? You bet He does. So this morning let's read every one of those hundreds of verses, shall we? Just kidding of course. Rather what I want to do this morning is look at a few verses that deal with three categories of sinful speech. Profane speech or profanity, deceptive speech or lying, and harsh or hurtful or abusive speech. To be sure there are other categories or other ways to categorize the various types of sinful speech.

Like I said, there are multiple hundreds of verses dealing with speech. So we could have had a category labeled defiling speech, or maybe one called corrupt speech, or perhaps one described as faithless speech, or a number of others. And that's not to mention that we could spend a good amount of time talking about absent speech. Meaning the sinful withholding of speech. Holding your tongue when words should be spoken but aren't. But this morning we'll focus on profane speech, deceptive speech and hurtful speech. Before we get into those specifics though, let's start in the New Testament book of James. What a coincidence.

We're going to be talking about this passage in a few weeks. James chapter 3. Turn there if you don't mind. James chapter 3. And we'll start reading at verse 1. We're going to read the first 12 verses of James chapter 3. Because they're very pertinent to our discussion and a good launching pad I think. James 3. Starting in verse 1. James says, "Do not many of you become teachers my brothers. Knowing that we will receive a stricter judgment. For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says." Or stumble in his speech. You see that? He's a perfect man. Able to bridle the entire body as well.

Now if we put the bits into horses' mouths so that they will obey us. We direct their entire body as well. Look at the ships also. Though they are so great and are driven by so strong winds. That they are directed. They are still directed by a very small rudder. Wherever the inclination of the pilot wills. So also the tongue is a small part of the body. Yet it boasts of great things. Behold how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire. And the tongue is a fire. The very world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body. And sets on fire the course of our existence.

And is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beasts and birds of reptiles and creatures of the sea. Is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father. And with it we curse men who have been made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers these things ought not be so. Does a fountain pour forth from the same opening fresh and bitter water? Can a big tree my brothers produce olives or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh?

So James says that if a man can control his own tongue he can control everything else about his person. And he has some very unflattering things to say about our tongue describing it as a fire whose source is hell itself. And though it's a very small thing our tongue has the power to defile our whole person. You ever wonder how that's possible? What is James talking about when he says that? How can our little tongue be responsible for so much sin?

Well Christ himself spells it out plainly for us in Matthew 1511 where he said quote, "It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man but what proceeds out of the mouth." This defiles the man. And he expands that thought a little more in Mark chapter 7 verses 20 to 23. Mark 7, 20 to 23 where he said, and he was saying, Christ speaking here, "That which proceeds out of the man, that is what defiles the man for from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, sexual immorality, thefts, murders, adulteries, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness.

All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man." Now not all of those defiling things necessarily involve the tongue, but a lot of them do and all of them can. And finally the passage we read earlier, and this is a favorite passage of mine and I'll explain why shortly, but in Luke chapter 6, just the 43 to 45 of Luke chapter 6. By the way, I wonder if James had this passage in mind when he wrote what we read earlier, because there's some similar imagery in there.

But anyway, Luke chapter 6 verses 43 to 45 where Christ said, "For there's no good tree which produces bad fruit, nor on the other hand a bad tree which produces good fruit. For each tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they pick grapes from a bramble bush. The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good, and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil." Now get this, "For his mouth speaks from the abundance of his heart." See that last phrase there?

"For his mouth speaks from the abundance of his heart." I love the way that King James renders it, which is the way I originally learned it. It's a bit more musical, and it says, "Of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh." So it's not the tongue itself. It's not the little flappy piece of meat between your teeth that houses our taste buds and that we use to get to the Tootsie Roll Center of a Tootsie Pop. And if you get that reference, you're old. No, it's not the tongue itself that is the problem. It's that our tongue is a conduit through which sinfulness pours out. Our tongue is a pipeline between our heart and other people's ears.

Our tongue just lays there and minds its own business until our minds and hearts put it to work expressing what's inside of us. Does that make sense? If you've heard my full testimony, you might recall why that verse is a favorite of mine, and it's because the Lord used it not long after I've been born again to provide me with really strong assurance that I had really been saved. I used to have a profane mouth, boy. Whew, man, you never heard anybody cuss as much as I did. Well, I hadn't been born again very long, and I don't really recall why I knew that verse, other than I'd really had been devouring scripture for weeks.

But I was working in our backyard shop one day and hit my thumb with a hammer, and I'm talking about busted it wide open, and I yell to the top of my lungs, "Ow!" or something like that. See, the thing is, before I was born again, what would have come out of my mouth would have been a string of angry, vulgar profanities. And when those profanities did not come out of my mouth, I immediately knew without a doubt because of that verse that I had been changed on the inside. My mouth was speaking out of the abundance of my heart, and that abundance no longer consisted of vulgarities and profanities.

Now, I want to move on, but we'll come back to this idea, this concept as we wrap up here in a few minutes. Tell you what, write this down, and we'll come back to it in a few minutes to tie everything together. Write this down. You ready? My tongue is a sanctification thermometer. My tongue is a sanctification thermometer. Got it? Good deal. So let's talk about profanity or vulgarity or obscene speech or foul language or cursing in the general sense. Pretty sure we defined that, right? I think we all understand what I mean by that.

It's crazy to me that from time to time, there's a discussion among Christians, particularly it seems like the Reformed Christianity, about whether or not it's acceptable to use curse words. That discussion is actually a thing that happens from time to time, and I don't get it. One reason I don't get it is found in the story I just told you about my busting my thumb wide open. If profanity is acceptable to the Lord, then why did he clean my mouth up like that right off the bat? Of course, my personal experiences are not foundational to my doctrine, and yours shouldn't be either. So what does the Bible say about the matter?

Well, Paul says in Ephesians 4.29, "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for building up what is needed so that it will give grace to those who hear." The word from which we get unwholesome there can mean rotten or putrified. That's not a pretty picture. The amplified version really gives us a feel of that verse. It reads like this. "Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word, nor unwholesome or worthless talk ever come out of your mouth.

But only such speech as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion that it might be a blessing and give grace or God's favor to those who hear it." Now, if you want to argue about whether profanity or vulgar obscene language falls in the same category as foul or polluting language or evil words or unwholesome talk, I can't help you. And I'm not interested in that argument. My position is that curse words fit that category. And the Bible says here, "As plainly as it can, don't do that. Don't let such language come out of your mouth." But that's not all.

Paul also says the following in Ephesians chapter 5, verses 3 and 4. Ephesians 5, 3 and 4. "But sexual immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints, nor filthiness and foolish talk or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of things." Here's how the Amplified renders verse 4 there. "Let there be no filthiness and silly talk or coarse, obscene or vulgar joking, because such things are not appropriate for believers. But instead, speak of your thankfulness to God." I mean, Case closed, right? How can it not be closed? That's pretty cut and dried to me.

But just in case you want to argue your Christian liberty with me, let me remind you of something that our pastor said from this very pulpit just last week. Now, he said it in the context of drinking alcohol, but the principle applies to the sort of language we use as Christians. Our pastor pointed out that Paul teaches us in 1 Corinthians chapter 8, that the word of the old Christian liberty means nothing if that liberty could cause someone else to stumble. Paul was specifically dealing with whether or not someone should eat meat that had been offered to idols.

He begins by explaining that idols are not really anything other than inanimate objects and have no power. So basically, meat offered to idols is no different than any other meat. But if a new Christian who'd recently been saved out of idol worship might be offended by meat offered to idols, Paul says, "Even though I know there's nothing wrong with the meat, I'm not going to eat it because my rights to eat that meat have to take a backseat to my responsibility to love this new convert." In the last verse of 1 Corinthians 8, verse number 13, Paul sums it up this way, "Therefore, if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again ever so that I will not cause my brother to stumble." So let's just assume for a moment that your Christian liberty allows you to use profane language without violating your own conscience.

In that case, you should read 1 Corinthians 8, 13 like this, "Therefore, if my cursing causes my brother to stumble, I will never use profanity again ever so that I will not cause my brother to stumble." Remember this, folks, if you ever find yourself in the position of arguing for your Christian liberty, you've missed the point entirely. Let me say that again. If you ever find yourself arguing for your Christian liberty, you have missed the point entirely. Christ did not die so you could do whatever you want to do or say whatever you want to say. Rather, He died to make you holy. So don't cuss. Don't cuss. What about deceptive speech?

What about lying? What does the Bible say about that? Well, we might start in the Ten Commandments. That happens to be one right there. Commandment number nine, found in Exodus chapter 20 verse 16 says, "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor." Now, that might specifically deal with leveling false accusations against someone, but at the core of the matter, that's about lying, ain't it? If there's any question, you can flip over to Leviticus 19.11 that says, "You shall not steal nor deal falsely nor lie to one another." No wiggle room there.

None in Psalm 34.13 either, which says, "Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit." God says in Psalm 101 verse 7, "He who practices deceit shall not dwell within my house. He who speaks lies shall not be established before my eyes." Here's Proverbs 12.22, "Lying lips are an abomination to Yahweh, but doers of faithfulness are his delight." There are many, many more Old Testament verses, but what about the New Testament? Well, in John 8.44, Christ said to the Pharisees, "You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father.

He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies." So chew on this for a minute. You are never more like Satan than when you lie. You are never more like Satan than when you lie. Ouch. In Ephesians 4.25, Paul instructs us to, quote, "lay aside falsehood and speak the truth." And then in Colossians 3.9, he says, "Do not lie to one another, since you put off the old man with its evil practices." In that Colossians verse, Paul reminds us that lying is what unbelievers do. So stop it.

In 1 Peter 3.10, Peter quotes from Psalm 34 when he says, "The one who desires life to love and to see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceived." And now brace yourself for Revelation 21.8, which says, "But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and sexually immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters, listen, and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death." By the way, here's a bonus question. How many liars does it take to be a liar? Think of it this way. How many murderers does it take to be a murderer? Just one.

Same with lying. You tell one lie you're a liar. Everybody in here is a liar, including me. The Revelation 22.15 says, "Outside," meaning outside the gates of the heavenly city, "are the dogs and the sorcerers and the sexually immoral persons and the murderers and idolaters and everyone who loves and practices lying." Hard to be any clearer than that. The Lord hates lying. He absolutely hates deceptive speech. And consider this quote from Charles Spurgeon. "Oh, dear sirs, there are some who talk of white lies, but there are no lies that are white.

They are scarlet, and they will sink a man to hell if they are not confessed and forgiven." Now, some might say, "But what about Rahab the harlot? Didn't she lie when she hid the Israelite spies? Or what about the people during the Holocaust who hid Jewish people from their German persecutors? Or what about when my wife says, 'Does this dress make me look fat?'" What the Bible is prohibiting when it says that we shouldn't lie is intentional deception for selfish or harmful purposes. Now, that's a very simple definition, and frankly, I kind of made it up, but I like it. So here it is again.

Lying is intentional deception for selfish or harmful purposes. My mom suffered from Alzheimer's near the end of her life, and we learned that when she repeated things, sometimes it was because she had a fear that she couldn't articulate. When I was discussing this message with Patty, she reminded me of a time when mom was staying with us. Corey was about 15 or so, and he had some of his friends over, and they were camping down by the creek. That's a little more than a half a mile through the woods from our house. Mom was crocheting, I think, and she asked me where Corey was, and I told her he and some friends were camping down by the creek.

And then within a very few minutes, she asked me again, where's Corey, as if she hadn't asked me before. And I told her the same thing. Within a few minutes, she had asked me again. But before I could answer the same way I had been answering, Patty either whispered to me or maybe she sent me a text to tell mom that they were camping right close to the house, right out in the backyard. And so I did that, and she didn't ask me again. She was worried about Corey and his friends, but she couldn't articulate that. And when I put her fear to rest, the question didn't come up anymore.

So did we lie to my mom in the sense that's prohibited in the verses we've read? Or according to my definition? I don't think so. We weren't intentionally deceiving my mom for selfish or harmful purposes. We were telling her her diseased mind what it needed to hear to put her at rest. Does that make sense? I'm sure we could what if this to death. We could come up with 100 scenarios and play the is it a lie game all day. But I propose that just like you know full well what profanity is, you know what lying is.

And just like with profanity, if you are focused on squeezing some sort of the deception into the acceptable category, I'm afraid you've missed a point again. Rather than seeing how close you can get to the line without sinning, why not rather stay far away from the line so as to protect your conscience and your witness? So first of all, don't cuss. Second, don't lie. Neither are behaviors that Christians should embrace, but are behaviors that we should avoid like a plague. The same is true for our third category of sinful speech, which we've described as harmful or hurtful or abusive speech.

In Psalm 52, King David is addressing doge or doe egg the Edomite who had betrayed David. And in verse 2, David says of him, "Your tongue devises destruction like a sharp razor, O worker of deceit." That phrase like a sharp razor really resonated with me because my tongue was once like a sharp razor. And to my shame, I used my tongue to inflict a great deal of hurt and embarrassment in my younger days. And though the Lord immediately removed vulgar language from my heart when I was saved, he made me work on dulling my sharp tongue and it took me a while.

I'm sorry to say I inflicted quite a bit of damage to Patty in those days, but she's been gracious to forgive me and the Lord helped her to heal from that. Also inflicted harm upon my children. Many times it wasn't even out of anger, though sometimes it was, but other times it was out of some weird sense of jesting or joking and it was hurtful. How awful I was. Thankfully, my children have also forgiven me. Men, ladies, your words don't have to be loud to be hurtful. Your voice doesn't have to be angry to cause pain. Is your tongue destructive? Is it sharp like a razor? Do you cut your spouse or your children to shreds at the drop of a hat?

Do you snap at them and sudden outbursts of anger? Do you jokingly belittle them or is your language dismissive even? Dismissive speech is hurtful speech. Maybe you don't think you do that. Maybe you should ask them. Maybe you should ask them something like, "Do my words ever hurt you? Do my words or the way that I speak to you ever make you sad or embarrassed or afraid?" If so, you need to repent of that with a quickness, like right now. Just very minute. Psalms and Proverbs have many verses that speak of a sharp tongue or a tongue or lips that drip with poison. Psalm 140, verse 3, for example, says, "They sharpen their tongues as a serpent.

Poison of an asp, which is a type of snake, is under their lips." Proverbs 12, 18 says, "There's one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword with the tongue of the wise brings healing." Sir, ma'am, are you thrusting swords into your children when you snap at them? Hang on, let me rephrase that. Sir, ma'am, you are thrusting swords into your children if or when you snap at them. Shouldn't your words bring healing to them instead? How about when you speak to your wife, sir, or when you speak to your husband, ma'am? Are your words poisoning them? Or are they a healing balm that makes them feel secure and loved? Maybe you ought to ask them.

Paul in Ephesians 4, 31 and 32, tells us, "To let all bitterness and anger and wrath and shouting and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Instead, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, graciously forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has graciously forgiven you." And in Colossians 3, 8 he says, "But now you also lay them all aside, wrath, anger, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth." I forgot to mention at the very beginning, these verses I'm reading in the LSB, so yours may say something different, but the LSB in Colossians 3, 8 says, "Abusive speech from your mouth.

Get rid of it." So how are we doing in these areas, folks? Do you have an issue with profanity? How about lying? Do you fudge the truth just a bit if it might benefit you? Are you truthful with your spouse? Young people, are you truthful with your parents even when it might cause you trouble? Is your tongue as sharp as a razor or dripping with poison? Look back at what I asked you to write a little while ago. I asked you to write down, "My tongue is a sanctification thermometer." It really is. Your tongue is a thermometer that indicates your current level of sanctification, at least in part. What do I mean by that?

Remember that Christ said your mouth speaks out of the abundance of your heart? What's in your heart comes out of your mouth. The implications of that are staggering and a little frightening. What that means is that when you find yourself using profanity, or lying, or hurling insults, or abusive speech toward your spouse or your children or anyone else, you cannot say, "I didn't mean that." You know what? Yes, you did. You meant it. Because out of the abundance of your heart, your mouth spoke. You said what was in your heart. You might wish you hadn't. You might wish that that weren't the case.

But you did, and it is, and there's no escaping that. So what does your thermometer say to you and to the watching world? How is your sanctification going these days, assuming you've been born again? If you haven't been born again, boy, howdy, I beg of you. Turn from your sin and run to Christ for forgiveness. He's full of mercy and is eager to save sinners. Quit stalling. Quit bowing your neck against the Holy Spirit. Submit to Him. Run to Him. Run to the cross and be saved from your sins, saved from the wrath of God that is surely coming for you.

If you are a believer, though, you've been born again, but you find yourself in the midst of that great tug of war between that part of you that desires the things of God and your flesh that desires sin, then you too flee to Christ. Confess your weakness to Him and allow Him to conform you into His own likeness. And take heart because Romans 8.1 is true. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who were in Christ Jesus. That is true. So you need to live like it's true. Folks, the world is watching you. Parents, your children are watching you. Husbands, your wives are watching you and vice versa. Your thermometer is showing.

Everybody can see it. We need to live our lives in such a way that we adorn the doctrine of God, our Savior and everything, as Paul said to Titus. The bad news is you can't do that. You know, I was initially going to title this message, The Great Tug of War Taming the Tongue. But then I'm remembered that on our own, like James says, we can't do that. We can't tame our tongues. We need Christ to do that. We need His Spirit to help us for, help us to do it for us, really. But we need to work toward it, knowing it's Him that is empowering the work.

If your tongue is troubling you, if you have an issue with profanity or lying or hurtful or abusive speech, cry out to God and beg Him to cleanse your heart because that's where the trouble is. And then we'll end where Jared started our service this morning, crying out with David in Psalm 19.14, where David said, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Yahweh, my rock and my Redeemer."