The Responsibility of Children

Thanks brother Keith. That's a very good one to meditate over. I challenge you from time to time to get some of the songs, get some of the lyrics to some of the music that we sing and that's a very good one. I've used that one through the years to meditate over, to pray over. That should be our heart. It's difficult but it should be our heart that our all would be on the altar. You know we sing those songs, we sing those words, we make those pledges and then we get tested and then we really see how little is on the altar. So that's a good one. Thank you brother Keith. Well take your Bible this morning and turn with me to Ephesians chapter 6.

Ephesians chapter 6 we're going to be in verse 4 but then we're going to be in some other places in scripture. Go ahead and tell you that the first portion of the message will be in lots of different places. Don't try to keep up with me. I've told you before I don't like Bible drill during the sermon. So write down these passages that we're going to refer to. We'll be in Genesis and we'll be in Job and I'll refer to some people in the scriptures that you know of and heard of.

Like I encourage you all the time, take notes, discipline yourself to take notes, go study your notes and when you go back during this week and study the message you can look back at these passages that we'll refer to. But halfway through the message we will land in Ephesians 6 and we will deal with verse 4. Now like I said earlier, at the Christmas break, during the Christmas holidays we took a break from our series on the family. Brother Keith pointed out to me this week we've really taken a break from a break from a break.

We were in our long series through the Gospel of John, we took a break from John, we got into these messages that I'm calling messages from the pastor's heart. Then we took a break from the messages that have been on my heart in looking at some messages in Christmas. Now we're going back to our second series. I don't mean to confuse you, but these are messages that have been on my heart from quite some time. I've been praying over through the summer and I wanted us to start with the family and you know the title of these messages, the title of these messages on the family, that is the family, our fundamental foundation.

If the family is not right, if the family is not structured biblically, if the family is not under the authority of the word of God and the lordship of Christ, we start off wrong from the beginning. And I'm afraid so many families and so many people in the life of the church are very, very hindered because they don't have matters concerning the family right according to God's word. So that's why we started October the 30th in looking at these messages concerning the family. Now this is not an exhaustive series. These are things that have come to the surface for me as I've been praying.

Brother Keith and I have been praying and we've been in the scriptures. Now we've had seven messages on the family so far. Remember we went all the way back to the beginning. We went to Genesis. We went to Adam and Eve and we learned that when Adam and Eve moved out from under the authority of God's word, calamity and sin came and it has affected all of humanity ever since. If they would have just said yes to the lordship of His word, how things would have been different. Then we moved on. We looked at the responsibility of husbands out of Ephesians 5. We looked at the duty of wives out of Ephesians 5.

And then we took several messages, message 4 through 7 and we dealt with obstacles. This is where it got tough. There are some who faced the obstacle of a lost spouse. I've dealt with that through the years. I've seen individuals come to Christ and then they realize, "Wait a minute, my husband, my wife is lost." And they're in a difficult place because they're living with an unbeliever. We also looked at the different roles, the scriptural roles for husbands and wives. Our culture is attacking even as we speak the proper biblical roles. These are obstacles that are in many families that need to be adjusted. There needs to be correction.

There needs to be even rebuke. Sometimes it's just adjustment. So I really want to encourage you to be faithful to these messages. Go back and listen to them. Study your notes. If you need my notes, I'll be glad to give them to you because I believe these are very pertinent to many of you in this room. Now this morning we're going to move away from these obstacles and we're going to move into what I am calling a great responsibility. Now I'll pause here for a moment before I continue. I hope that you realize men, the responsibility that we have. Women, I hope that you realize the responsibility that we have within the family.

God's given us His instruction. We saw that the husband, the wife, the role of the husband and the wife, the family, marriage has been given by God and we have a responsibility to put all matters concerning the family under the authority of the Word of God and under the Lordship of Christ as we seek to be right with God in our life. And so the ball is in our court. We cannot plead ignorance. We must seek to be responsible in all of these areas. Now we're moving on to a different responsibility this morning and we're going to look at the responsibility of children. You see the title of the message? I encourage you to jot that down.

Of course this is part of this overall theme with the family, the family, our fundamental foundation, the responsibility of children, the family and responsibility of children. Like I said earlier, we're going to be with various passages. We're going to look at truth number one, children are a gift from God. Jot those down as we dive into those here in a moment. And then we're going to be in Ephesians and we're going to look at Paul's instruction to the fathers.

And this morning's message is teaching, it is correction, it is encouragement, it is so much, but this also sets us up with where we will go next week in dealing with this responsibility, the responsibility of children. And I trust that you are taking notes and as we dive into the message, it should be easy for you to keep up. So we're going to look at truth number one, children are a gift from God. Now normally I would have read passages of scripture by now, but because we're going to look at many scriptures under this main truth, I'm going to read them as we go along. So don't criticize me for not reading scripture by now.

It's because of time, so much that we're looking at that I want to be sensitive to that. So children are a gift from God. Now I don't know if you know it, but not everyone views children are a gift from God. I ponder a question for you. How many children in this country, in this country alone, are aborted each year because they are an inconvenience, they are a woman's choice. So many excuses that women and children or women and men have in this area, but how many children are aborted each day, each year in this country? I was listening to my wife even last night explain some issues about abortion to one of our children.

I'm thankful that there are some of you in this room. You're deeply concerned. You're broken because every day there are babies that are murdered in our country. And yes, it is murder. How many children are abused? How many children are neglected? How many children are abused and neglected in homes right down the road from this church? How many children are abused and neglected in some of the ministry situations that we come across, we run across this from time to time? And what am I showing you? Not everyone views children as a gift from God. I want us to look at several passages and by no means is this exhaustive.

And these passages will highlight the fact that children are a gift from God. So first I want us to see children were a gift to the original first family, Adam and Eve. Remember, we went back to Adam and Eve and I said the first family doesn't live in Washington. The first family was in the Garden of Eden. But children were a gift to Adam and Eve. If you go over to your scripture in Genesis 4, drop this down, verses 1 and 2. This was after the fall, but notice what it says. Now the man, that's Adam, had relations with his wife Eve. We understand biologically what that was and she conceived and gave birth to Cain.

And she said, "I have begotten a man child," the New American says. Some translations say man with the help of the Lord. And again she gave birth to his brother Abel. So what do we see right there? Here we see the first two children and they were given. And it is plain from the language that Eve knew how this came about. She is confessing a faith in God and she recognizes God as the giver of this gift. And not just one gift, but two. She had two sons. Right here in verse 2, she seems to express what one Bible commentator says, a grateful emotion. I like that. Look back at verse 2.

She says, "I have gotten a man child with the help of the Lord." I believe there is emotion there. Then if we turn over into verse 25 of chapter 4, it says, "And Adam had relations with his wife again and she gave birth to a son and she named himself." Now we know what happened there. There was a great conflict that ultimately ended up in murder. Look what we see in verse 25 through these tragic events between Cain and Abel. God gifts Adam and Eve another son and again Eve has the exact same response concerning Seth. What am I trying to show you? Eve bears testimony that she and Adam knew that children were a gift from God.

She said, "God help me. God enabled me and she expressed that emotion to give birth to children." So children were a gift to Adam and Eve. Second, I want us to see that children were a gift to Abraham and Sarah. I don't know if you've studied the story of Abraham and Sarah. If you have not, I challenge you to do that. You can go to Genesis chapter 12 and pick up right there with the story of Abraham and Sarah. If you get a little confused, you need to know that God changed Abraham's name. So if you see Abraham or Abraham, that is the same man. But Abraham lived in a pagan land and he was living among a polytheistic people.

Abraham was not a worshipper of the one true God, but God sovereignly chose to reveal himself to Abraham and God called Abraham out of that land and called Abraham unto himself and there Abraham began a journey of following the one true God. But Abraham and Sarah had a problem. They were childless. And if you study the story, you will see that they were well beyond childbearing years. Now we understand the birds and the bees and the biology of the whole thing. There comes a point in time when a man and a woman get beyond childbearing years. And that's what happened to Sarah and that's what happened to Abraham.

But what do we see in chapter 17 verse 7? Abraham is discussing, God is discussing, sharing and talking with Abraham about this wonderful covenant that he was living under. And he says, "I will establish my covenant between me and you and your descendants after you throughout their generations." But yet Abraham was childless.

He says, "You're going to have descendants." Then we turn over into verse 15, still part of this same conversation, chapter 17 verse 15, "Then God said to Abraham, 'As for Sarah your wife, you shall not call her name Sarah, but Sarah," changes her name from Sarah to Sarah, "and he goes on to say in verse 16, 'And I will bless her, and indeed I will give you a son by her, well beyond childbearing years, but there is a promise.'" And then if you continue, you will see that God does fulfill his promise. God does bring about a miracle and Abraham and Sarah do have a son and his name was Isaac. Go study the story. It is wonderful.

But children were a gift even to Abraham and Sarah when they were well beyond childbearing years. And then third, I want you to see that children, that children are given and children are taken away. We see this story, this illustrated, this taught in the story of Job. I don't know if you're familiar with the story of Job, but if you find your way in Ezra, Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther, then you will come across the book of Job. But in the first chapter of Job, we see some very tragic events take place in Job's life. Job was a man of faith, a man of God, and he walked with God. But notice what takes place in the first portion of chapter 1.

God allows Satan to touch his life. If you go to the scripture, Satan comes before God and God says, "Have you considered my servant Job?" and then Satan says, "What will he do if you allow me to touch his life?" But then we see there in chapter 1 that God allows Satan to touch his life. But then you'll notice what takes place in the second portion of the chapter. Somehow some way, I don't understand it, but in the economy of God, God allowed Satan to take his own children. Messengers come to Job and they talk about calamity, and his children are taken. But notice what happens in verse 20.

"Tragic news, a man of God Job, and news comes that his children are gone. Then Job arose," verse 20, "and he tore his robe and he shaved his head, and he fell to the ground in worship, and he said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.'" And right here in verse 20, there is so much. Notice first that he mourned. What does it say he did in verse 20? It says that he tore his robe and he shaved his head. That is an outward symbol of an inward mourning. He was mourning and physically he communicated that.

Yes, he mourned the loss of his children. And then second, notice immediately he worshiped because it says that he fell to the ground and he worshiped. And then third, he acknowledges God's sovereignty in good and in bad. Verse 21, what does it say? "Naked I came from my mother's womb, naked I shall return. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away." He is recognizing and operating under the sovereignty of God when it's good and when it's bad. And then fourth, he blessed the Lord. What does it say? And he blessed the name of the Lord in verse 22. Through all of this, Job did not sin nor did he blame God.

So he blessed God through his great tragedy. Children were given and children were taken away. So with Job, God gave him children. Then God took him away. But Job still loved God, still worshiped God and still blessed God. And he saw the circumstances accurately. He saw them plainly and accurately even through his grief and his emotions. And then fourth, I want us to see that children are a gift from God. We see this in Psalm 127 verse 3. Many of you are familiar with Psalm 127, those of you who have studied the family. It's a very famous passage in dealing with children and where they come from. It's very plain, it's very obvious.

It's just a summary of all that I've been sharing with you out of Adam and Eve and Abraham and Sarah and even Job. But Psalm 127 verse 3, "Behold, children are a gift from the Lord." So what do we see? Solomon, the wisest man who had ever lived, proclaims that children are a gift from God. He knew it. He declared it. He wrote it down. And Psalm 127 verse 3 is just a summary of all of what the Scripture says that children are a gift from God. So here we see that in various circumstances with various peoples, the same common truth and that is that children are a gift from God.

Adam and Eve definitely knew this truth as well as Abraham and Sarah. And think about how different all of these circumstances were. How different were Adam and Eve compared to Abraham and Sarah? And how different was Job's circumstances in comparison to the others? Even in the deepest of trials, even in losing your children, Job knew it. They came from God, they belong to God, and God can take them away.

So an application, we here at Nola Baptist Church, no matter how old you are, how young you are, no matter if you have children now or we'll have children in the future, we need to be reminded that our children, yes, your children are a gift from God. I think that there are certain people that have unique experiences in relation to children. I think that people who have gone through difficulties in relation to children understand this truth sometimes greater than others. I don't think it's coincidental that Brother Keith and Teresa were able to have camp here for the very first time this morning.

But I've walked with them as they've walked with God through their journey with children, not being able to have children biologically, but being led of God to adopt a wonderful story of how God has worked. And I think that they can understand sometimes more than others that children are a gift from God because they had a different struggle than some others do. Children are a gift from God. I think about another friend who understands this. Y'all know that Brother Keith and I have a friend named Tyler Powell. He comes and shares the pulpit and shares the word with us sometimes.

I'm encouraged by him and I love Brother Tyler and his wife Donna. And I've seen God work in his life through the years, but I'll never forget what happened to Tyler and Donna with our first boy. Because they were getting closer and closer to that due date. I don't remember exactly how many weeks, but they were at the point where they were going every week to listen to that sonogram and get a report from that doctor every week. And then one day they go and the doctor finds no heartbeat. So what has to happen? She has to give birth to a son named Nathan, a severe chromosome disorder.

And the doctor said that this was a blessing because if he would have lived, it would have been a horrific, horrific existence. And what happened? They had to walk down that lonely road of losing a child. And yet Brother Tyler understood it in light of the sovereignty of God. And lo and behold, guess who preached the funeral? He did. They talk about Nathan all the time, their firstborn. If you ask him how many children they have, they'll say three. But only two are living on this side. But they understand that children are a gift from God, I think sometimes better than even I do. What am I trying to show you?

What do I want us to see in the scripture? What do I want us to have illustrated by talking about real life experiences? Children are a gift from God. And I want to ask you, can you believe that even if you lose your child from a tragic circumstance? Can you really live that? What about this? What if God were to call one of your children? What if God were to call one of your children to the mission field? And you have to go put them on an airplane and they go all the way around the world to a difficult place. Can you live that? Lord, they're not mine. They're yours. They're a gift. Come whatever you choose. Children are a gift. Let's move on.

Let's move on to Paul and let's look at Paul's instruction to fathers. Now, this children are a gift from God is kind of foundational and we're going to carry this on through what we're looking at in Ephesians and where we're going next week. But right here in this Ephesians passage, what do we see? That's what Paul says, "And fathers, do not provoke your children to anger and not exasperate them," some translations, "but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Now, this Ephesians passage is just after the passages that we looked at in Chapter 5 back in the beginning of this series.

But here in these passages, Paul is giving various instructions to various peoples in society. In Verse 1, right here in Chapter 6, he speaks to children. Verse 4, he speaks to fathers. In Verse 5, he speaks to slaves. Earlier in Chapter 5, he speaks to wives. He speaks to husbands. So he's speaking to all different types of people in this teaching starting in Chapter 5. All through Chapter 5, it's walk, walk, walk. And this is the Christian life is what he's talking about. And I want to hone in on Verse 4, and I want to break down Verse 4. First of all, Paul says, "Do not provoke your children." Now, that might seem strange to some of you.

The New International reads, "exasperate." The English Standard, the New American reads, "provoke." I like the Amplified here. The Amplified reads, "irritate and provoke." I think you understand what's being communicated. But the meaning of what Paul is saying is important. But it must be looked at in light of culture. In Paul's day, many Jewish homes were ruled in a strict and domineering manner by the Father, and especially in Gentile homes. That was part of the culture. And the needs and the desires of the wives and children were most often overlooked.

And I've already explained to you that in that culture, many times women were viewed as property or second-class citizens. So many times the needs of the family were overlooked. And here Paul is saying that the Father's authority over his children cannot be used to drive the children away. Paul is saying that domineering authority, unrealistic, unreasonable demands, and needless severity can drive children to anger and resentment. Now Paul is not saying, "Do not discipline your children." We should discipline our children. But out of love, not out of anger, not provoking, not pushing them away. And there is a fine line.

But we must see this in light of culture, not in this domineering, totalitarian approach. So do not provoke your children. Now I think the key here, I think the key here is what we learned way back in Ephesians 5, and that is the fathers must do what? They must love their wife and love their children and love their home. So he says do not provoke, do not irritate, do not exasperate or push your children away. But let's look at the positive side of the verse now. Second, what does he say? He says bring them up in discipline.

Verse 4, "And fathers do not provoke your children to anger." But, notice the transition, but bring them up in the discipline. Now the King James reads nurture. The English Standard, the New American read the same discipline. Now this word means to train a child. Now this speaks of education and instruction in the ways of the Lord. They are to be nurtured, I like that word nurtured, they are to be disciplined and trained. Sometimes trained might have a negative connotation, someone might say well you don't train a child, you train an animal. Well if that bothers you, you can read it like this.

You are to discipline them, you are to nurture them in the ways of the Lord. And trained is okay because that's what it says. You are to train them, you are to discipline them, you are to nurture them as a father in the ways of the Lord, the ways of God, in the word of God. And then notice third, he says bring them up in instruction. But bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord. The King James reads admonition. Now this literally means a putting in the mind.

The idea here is that they were to put in their minds, fathers put in the minds of the children the facts of God's existence and then on from there his commandments, his truths and his ways. This is extremely positive here and I want to repeat that. The idea is that the father puts into the minds of the children not just the existence of God but his commandments, his truths and the ways of God. So notice the positive end of that. He says bring them up, train them, nurture them, train them. And then he says instruct them in the admonition of the Lord. So here we see that Paul gives three commands from this verse.

Now there are some Bible commentators that I ran across this week. They combine discipline and instruction. That's acceptable but I like breaking it down because it adds a layer. It adds a layer. Now an application. We must ask ourselves if there is anything in us as fathers that provokes our children to anger, to resentment, to becoming exasperated with us as fathers and the leaders of the home. We must ask ourselves that question and we might need the help of the Lord there because we can all have different tendencies.

Some can be too strong handed, some can be too authoritative, some can be too soft, some can not be authoritative enough and it always comes out of a heart of love. So we must ask ourselves are we provoking, are we angering, are we building up resentment, are we exasperating our children because if we understand what Paul is saying, he is saying if we do these things without approach we will drive our children away. Couple more questions. A little more specific. Do you have a domineering personality in your home? Do you have a totalitarian approach to parenting? Do you have unrealistic rules and unrealistic demands?

Do you have extreme severity? I think you see how the ball is rolling. We must ask ourselves these questions because listen, we must be about training and nurturing. We must be about admonishing and this is all done out of love because all in chapter 5 when Paul is dealing with husbands and fathers it's all out of love, love, love, not out of authority, authority, authority. First we are authoritative but it's all out of love. I think there is a mistake here that some might make. Some might skip over the first portion of verse 4 and go right to the part on training and instruction.

And if we are not careful we can train and instruct and all the while we are pushing them away. So we must ask ourselves is there anything in us, is there anything that provokes our children anger and resentment and then becoming exasperated with us as fathers? Again I say this does not mean that we don't discipline. This does not mean that we do not put the rod to our children. No we do those things because they are commanded. In the end the last question and application is we must ask ourselves if we are training and we are instructing them in the ways of the Lord.

I think it would do us more good than we know if we examined our approach before we examined what we are doing in our instruction and training and communicating and teaching. Because if we do not do this right we can work our fingers to the bone and drive them away rather than draw them in. So as I move to the conclusion of the message we are moving away from these various passages in Genesis and Job moving away from Ephesians and like I said we are going to hold on to verse 4. We are going to hold on to the fact that children are a gift from God.

I want us, I want to show you why it is important that we look at first children are a gift from God. If we do not see that children are a gift from God, if I can use this language we start off on the wrong foot because if we do not realize that children are a gift from God they are ours and not his. Surely it should not take death or tragic circumstances to show us this. Surely it can be a work that God does in our life where we look at our sons and we look at our daughters and we say Lord forgive me I have always treated them as mine. No they are yours and you just loan them to me.

So we must see how important this is that we digest this truth wholeheartedly. And then and only then can we look at Paul's instructions. Then and only then can we look at other instructions concerning the family, concerning the children. So what I want you to see an application is we must see that children are a gift from God and when God has done that work in us then we move we move on past that to we must not push our children away. We must not push them away. We must not exasperate them but we must draw them to ourselves.

And then we can instruct then we can mold then we can teach then we can encourage then we can implant then we can infuse the ways of God in them. And listen if you can live what we've just talked about your children will catch more Christianity from you then possibly you teach them because if what you teach is not what's in their life your life it will drive them away. Now as I move to the end of the message I want to say this to you as your pastor elder preaching teacher and I speak for brother Keith as an elder as well we are in this journey with you.

We're sinners we're men we have to work hard in our homes we have to work hard through struggles we've not arrived we examine messages like this more than you know we discuss these matters and pray over these matters more than you know because listen this is not a high tower for me to preach to you and then live a contradictory life no I step out of this pulpit and I step on the same ground you walk on and I have children and I have home and I have a wife and I have bills and I have struggles just like you.

And brother Keith and I do realize that just like Paul set Titus on the island of Crete as an example to them he has set us here as an example to you and we take these matters very seriously. So what do we see? We're holding on to the title of this series the family it's our fundamental foundation knowing we must have this family right and now we're looking at this tremendous responsibility of the children that God has given us. A heavy load a lot of work a great responsibility a lifetime of work. Let's pray. For Jesus I thank you.