The Responsibility of Children part 2

Now if you would take your Bible this morning, turn with me to two places, two different places. Last week we were in multiple places at the beginning of the message, but this morning we were going to be back in our Ephesians passage, Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4, and then halfway through the message we're going to go to Deuteronomy chapter 6 verses 4 through 9. Maybe take a little piece of paper and mark that passage, Deuteronomy 6 verses 4 through 9. We'll start off in Ephesians 6. You should know where that is by now because we were there last week. If you're having a difficult time finding Deuteronomy, it's the fifth book of the Bible.

It's the last book of what's called the Pentateuch, the the law. We're going to look at a very important passage of scripture there in Deuteronomy. Now last week we studied what I called the responsibility of children. Now of course this is part of this greater series on the family. I have titled this The Family, Our Fundamental Foundation. I've said this from time to time and I'll repeat it this morning. If we don't have the family correct, if we're struggling in the areas of the family, then our foundations are not as they should be. The foundation of God's work, the foundation of the church, the foundation of the work of God is the church.

The church must be built on the family, the Christian family, the family, as God has given it. That's why I hold on to that lengthy title, The Family, Our Fundamental Foundation. Now last week we looked at two truths. We looked at the fact that children are a gift from God and we did play Bible drill. We went through various scriptures. We were in Genesis, we were in Job, we were in the book of Psalms, but I want to just say to you as your pastor, I want to tell you that I'm very thankful for your heart because I do not believe there's anyone here who does not see that children are a gift from God. That is a cultural lie.

The children are not a liability. They're not a hindrance. No matter how they may come, they are a gift from God. And I know that some of you are experiencing that truth in many different ways in your life even now. But the second truth we looked at was Paul's instruction to fathers there in Ephesians 6 verse 4. And I'm thankful that many of you understand this verse. You're familiar with it, but I want to tell you we need to get better with this verse. That's why we're going to spend a little more time here. We need to be familiar with this verse. We need to stay familiar, men, with this verse. Families, we need to know this verse.

And we need to get better here because it is a constant work that is the family in these areas concerning the children. Now this morning our message is going to be a continuation of last week's message. And that's why I'm titling this message, "The Responsibility of Children Part 2." We're really going to pick up where we left off in Ephesians. And then like I said earlier, we're going to go over to Deuteronomy, that Old Testament book. Now before we get into the message, this morning's message, I want to remind you of some truth concerning this Ephesian passage.

And I want to share with you some background information concerning Deuteronomy and this passage out of Deuteronomy. First of all, remember, I want you to remember that in our second message within this series on the family, we learned that Ephesians chapter 4 and chapter 5, they were Paul teaching on the true normal Christian life. Now if you go through chapter 4 and chapter 5, you will see the word "walk" all through what Paul is writing. Now I'm reading and I study from the New American Standard. There are other translations that we refer to that are good translations. The New International Version uses the word "live." But what do we see?

All through chapter 4 and chapter 5, it's "walk, walk, walk, live, live, live." This is Paul describing the normal true Christian life. And chapter 6 is a part of this teaching. Simply, right here in these chapters, we see the normal Christian life. This is not for some what you might say super Christians. Some people have this division when they look at Christianity. Some people say you have like super Christians and then you have like normal Christians. Really what people are doing there is they're giving an excuse for carnality. This is for the normal Christian life.

And chapter 6 is right in the mix of Paul writing about the Christian life. Also, I want to give you some background of Deuteronomy and this Deuteronomy passage. Deuteronomy is part of the first five books of the Old Testament, are part of what's called the Old Testament law. The book of Deuteronomy contains much legal teaching and places an emphasis on the people and their obedience to God's laws. Now there's little historical material and it takes place in one location over a month's period of time. Now this will help you historically.

Historically, this book takes place at the end of the Jews and their 40 years of wandering through the wilderness in the last few weeks of Moses' life. Now specifically these passages, chapter 6 verses 4 through 9, they are what is called the Shema. You might be familiar with that term and that is the Hebrew word for here. This passage was considered the Jewish confession of faith by Orthodox Jews and it was traditionally recited twice a day. So what I want you to see is the background of this passage and I want you to understand that our Ephesian passage is part of the normal Christian life.

So I've already given you the title of the message. It's the responsibility of children and like I said this is a part two. This is a continuation of what we looked at last week. We're going to look at three main truths. Three main truths. We're going to look at the approach to children. That's out of our Ephesian passage. Then we're going to look at a love for God out of Deuteronomy and a plan or the plan with children and that's out of Deuteronomy as well. The approach to children, a love for God, and the plan with children. Let's read our Ephesians passage first.

Then when we come to our passage out of Deuteronomy we'll flip over and read that. So Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4, "And fathers, do not provoke, do not provoke your children anger but bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord." Now here like I said we're going back to a passage that we dealt with last week. Last week we did not cover this verse in an exhaustive manner and you might say, "Well, pastor, I thought we did." No, there was more truth here and there is more truth that we need to learn.

Remember this is part of the Christian walk and I repeat that over and over because I want you to see that in your Christian life this verse should be a mainstay. If this is not part of your home, this is not part of your relationship with your children, then you must ask yourselves why. That's why we must be exhaustive with this verse. Two more observations I want to make here out of verse 4. First of all, this is a family effort. This is a family effort. If you go back to the verse it will say, "And fathers." You'll notice there's not the word "fathers." Now last week we saw Paul's instruction of fathers. The father is not to provoke.

The father is not to exasperate the children. But the father is to discipline. The father is to instruct. The father is to teach them. And last week I did not deal with an interpretive issue, a debate within this verse. If you do some study in the original language, the word "fathers" here can be interpreted "parents." It is true that all of our English translations interpret this word as "fathers." And I do think that that is the most accurate. But this needs to be interpreted and examined in light of culture. In Paul's day, the fathers in both Roman culture and Jewish culture had legal control over the family and over the children.

And in the Jewish home, the fathers were responsible for instructing their children, starting about the age of seven. Now why do I mention this family effort? I mention this family effort because we need to understand that it is the father's role as the leader to instruct the children to lead the family. But it is also the mother's role to instruct and teach the children as well. This is a family effort. This takes both. This takes all of the family. And I want us to see that it takes fathers, yes, but it also takes mothers. We're going to come back and we're going to look at this this issue of the fathers a little more. But let's move on.

I want us to see this is a positive effort. This is a positive effort. We've already learned that the fathers were not, and that is a negative, not to provoke their children or exasperate them. Go back to the verse. "Now fathers and fathers do not provoke your children to anger." That's a negative commandment. But here we see a positive side and that is the fathers were to bring them up. Go back to the verse. "Now fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up." Now all of the translations that we study read the same thing. But I really like how the amplified captures this portion of the verse.

The amplified, which is a paraphrase, reads "rear them" and then in brackets it has the word "tenderly." Now you might not realize how accurate that is. Let me show you why. Interestingly, this very same word here is used earlier in chapter 5 verse 29 and it is translated different. Look at verse 6 again. "Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up." Now go back up to chapter 5 verse 29 talking about the relationship or responsibility husbands have with wives. "For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it." So it is translated as "nourishes" there in verse 29. So what do we see?

The husband is to care for his wife just as he nourishes his own body. The father is to bring up the children tenderly. And I want you to see that if we look at both verses you will see that the attitude and the approach of being tender and bringing up the children is there. So here what we see in these verses is that the Christian husband would not neglect the care for his wife and the Christian father would not neglect the tender nurturing of his children. So what do we see? This is the approach. I choose those words carefully.

In matters of teaching, in matters of instructing and bringing up the children in the ways of the Lord, it is within the context of the family. It is the father who leads, yes. Paul interprets this verse as "fathers, yes." But it is a family effort and the approach is to tenderly and softly discipline and instruct and bring up the children in the ways of the Lord. Now let me go back and read the verse, verse 4 again. "Now fathers, do not provoke, do not embitter, do not provoke your children to anger." Remember, that's not having a dictatorship. "But bring them up in a tender manner.

Nurture them in the discipline and the instruction and the ways of the Lord." You see what Paul is saying? Now, in application, we remember what we learned last week because what we learned last week goes hand in hand with what we are learning. We can't provoke our children. We must ask ourselves, fathers, are we provoking them? Are we harsh? Are we overbearing? Are we trying to discipline them out of anger? We must ask ourselves those questions and we must pray and ask the Lord to help us in these areas. And then we must ask ourselves, are we nurturing our children? Are we instructing them? And are we putting in their mind the things of God?

But I want to say to you, this is a family effort. It takes fathers and fathers a leading and it takes mothers. But remember how I mentioned culture. In that day and that time, the fathers ruled. Women did not have rights. Wives did not have rights. It was very much a male-dominated society, both in Judaism and outside of Judaism. But I want to show you, I believe it's turned around in the areas of the home in our day because I believe many men have relegated the instruction of the Lord and the instruction of Christianity and the things of God. I believe most men have relegated that to the wives' job.

I believe most families in many churches have just handed that off to the church. They farmed out spiritual instruction. So what I want you to see is that culture had to fight against a male-dominated society in a negative way. And what we have today is most men have just let someone else do this job. Men need to stand up to their responsibility and that is to lead. Yes, it is a family effort, but look at the approach. This is a positive thing. And I must ask you, are you doing your fair share, men? And what I mean by fair share, are you leading in this area? Let's move on. We're going to look at truth number two, a love for God.

And here we're going to turn back to our passage in Deuteronomy. We're going back to Deuteronomy chapter six. We're going to look at verse four. We'll read on down to verse nine and then we'll start with our verses. "Hear, O Israel, the Lord is our God. The Lord is one." This is Moses speaking. "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might.

And these words which I'm commanding you today, see there's that emphasis on the people, shall be on your heart, and you shall teach them diligently to your sons, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up. And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on the forehead. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." So this second truth comes out of verses four through five, and this is a love for God.

Now, here in this Orthodox Jewish Confession that was so very well known to the Jews, we have not only instructions to children, but we have instructions for, if I can use this language, the Christian life. Now, they weren't living the Christian life like we are, but yet they have instruction as to how they are to live for the Lord. But before we can get into the instruction concerning our responsibility to children, we must deal with basics. And that is our love for God. Because go back to the verse. Is it that what is taking place here?

"The instruction on the children does not come until later." Now, out of verses four and five, I want to make two observations. First of all, there is one God, and he is God. Look at verse four. "Here, O Israel, the Lord is our God. The Lord is one." Now, what do we see here? For the original Jewish audience, this was a strong and clear statement of monotheism. There is one God and one God alone, and we must understand this in light of context. Polytheism abounded in the peoples around the Jews. All of these pagan peoples were polytheistic people.

They worshiped multiple gods, and it was very important for the Jews to understand that God was the only God and the one true God. And Moses is saying, "There is one God, and he is God, and all of these other gods are not gods." Now, an interesting observation in the language. If you study this language in the original, this word for one means unity. Now, we understand, because we have the full revelation of God, that that one God that Moses is speaking of is God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. They would not have understood it in that way, because they did not have the full revelation of God as we have.

But what are we seeing? Taking place in the lives of the Jews? Moses is saying, "There is one God, and he is God." Second, we see they were to love God wholeheartedly. They were to love Him. They were to love God wholeheartedly. Look at verse 5, "And you, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might." Now, for the original audience, their first commandment here was to love God. They were to wholeheartedly and totally love God. All these laws that were given to them were to be obeyed, not out of duty, but out of a total love for God.

Now, I want you to remember what had taken place in the lives of these people. Remember that they were a delivered people. Remember these are the people that have been delivered out of Egyptian slavery. It was God by His mighty power and His mighty hand. It was God who would deliver them out of slavery unto Himself. This was a delivered people. But also remember that this was a blood-bought people. Remember, they were passed over during that first passover, and they were passed over because of the blood of an innocent lamb. And we know that that is a picture of Christ. Remember that they were a covenant people.

They were in covenant relationship to God. And what that tells us is these people belong to God. And in a sense, God belonged to them. They were God's people. They were specifically chosen by God, and they were in a binding covenant relationship to God. Now, interestingly, we see this same wholehearted love, this love in a wholehearted manner, taught in the New Testament as well. Many of you are familiar with this. Matthew chapter 22, starting in verse 34, we see they were religious leaders who were trying to trap Jesus. They were coming to Jesus to quiz Jesus. What did they say?

They said, "But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together." They were trying to trap him. "And one of them, a lawyer." This would have been one who was schooled in the areas of the Old Testament law. I asked him a question to test him. Notice what the leader says. "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law? And he said to them, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.'" Where did this come from? This is a quotation of this passage in Deuteronomy.

So here we see, so here we must see that the Jews were to love God with a wholehearted love. It was a total commitment of oneself to him, and that was expressed in obedience to his laws and his ways in everyday life. You see? A love for God. Now an application for you, for me, I want to say this. You, sitting here in these pews, you cannot do any of this that we're talking about concerning the family. You cannot do any of this, this concerning the children. You cannot do any of these things unless you love God. You must, this must, come out of a love relationship with the Lord. This must come out of an ongoing relationship with Jesus.

It starts when you were delivered. It starts when you are blood-bought. It starts when you are in covenant relationship with the Lord. Because if you are not in a covenant relationship with the Lord, you are doing it in the flesh, you are doing it of your own accord, you're doing it in your own strength, and that will never suffice. So what do we see? A love for God. And if you're sitting here this morning and you've not been saved, God's not saved you. You don't have a point in time when you've gone from death to life. You've not converted, been converted.

You've not become a new creation in Christ because of the saving grace of Christ in your life. If that is not happened, you are not a saved mother. You are not a saved father. You are not a Christian mother. You are not a Christian father, and you will only do these things in the flesh. And look, if you are not walking with the Lord as you should be, listen, we must walk with the Lord after God saves you, after God saves us. We must walk in the Lord, walk with the Lord, walk in His ways, and we obey His commandments because we love Him. So we must deal with a love for God.

And these Jews could not receive this instruction concerning children unless Moses and God reminded them that they had to love God. Let's look at truth number three. Let's notice the plan with children. The plan with children, because we will see unfolding a plan. Starting with verse 6, "And these words which I am commanding you today shall be on your heart, and you shall teach them diligently to your sons, and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead, and you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Now here in these verses, we will see a continuation of this progression.

There is this mighty declaration in verses 4 and 5. This declaration, what does Moses say? This is "Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God is one, and you must love Him with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength." But now we see the application of what we've learned and seen in verses 4 and 5. Here this is flashed out. Now think, think of how we could deal with this subject. Think about how we would tackle this issue. You and I, most of us, would write it in the instructional child rearing and we would overlook verses 4 through 5, but that is not what God does. We must see the progression.

Starts with us, then it moves to our children. Four observations I want to make out of these verses. First of all, the Word was to be in, and in your notes I'd like you to capitalize that word in. Circle it, underline it. The Word was to be in their hearts. Look at verse 6, "And these words which I am commanding you today shall be on your heart." The New American English Standard reads "on your heart." The King James reads "in." Now I love what the Amplified says here. I'm going to read you this verse in the Amplified.

It says, "And these words which I'm commanding you this day shall be in its first in brackets in your own minds and your hearts." You see what the Amplified is saying? These words, all that I'm going to command you, this day shall be first in your own mind and in your heart. He, this is Moses, this is God, He is commanding these Jews that the Word must not only be read but meditated on. It must be learned. It must be implanted into their minds, into their hearts. It must be a part of their thinking. And listen, "Coupled with the above love for God, it will be in their hearts." You see? The Word must be in their hearts.

Second, he says the Word was to be taught to their children. Verse 7, "And you shall teach them diligently to your sons, and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up." Now all the translations use the word "diligent" here, but we need to notice a few details out of this verse. First notice, Moses says, "Sons, and not children." What does he say? "And you shall teach them diligently to your sons." Now we understand that that was primarily a male-dominated society, but I want to contrast what is said in Deuteronomy with Ephesians.

You don't have to turn there, but if you go back to Ephesians 6, Paul says, "And fathers do not provoke your children." It's clear that Paul is saying, "Do these things with your children, both male and female alike, both boy and girl alike." So notice Paul's application, and we know that the New Testament never contradicts the Old Testament, and what we must see is that the Word must be taught to children. But notice where this teaching should take place.

Look back in Deuteronomy and these words, which I'm commanding you today, should be on your heart, "You shall teach them diligently to your sons." And notice, "And you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." Moses is saying, "When you are in the home, when you're out of the home, early in the morning, and late at night, when you have your sit-down devotional time, and when you're moving outside of the home, no matter where you go, you should be constantly teaching." So it's not just in the home, it's not just one time a day, it is all throughout the day, all throughout life, no matter where life would take you, but it is 24/7.

Again, verse 7, "And you shall teach them diligently to your sons, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up." So what do we see? The Word was to be taught to the children. The Word was to be taught in the home, out of the home, no matter where you go from morning and to night. Third, I want us to see that the Word was to be on the forefront of their minds. The Word was to be on the forefront of their minds.

Verse 8, "And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be on be as frontals on your forehead." Now, this simply meant that the Jews were to meditate on the Word of God both day and night. This would have been a deliberate task and hard work, because, listen, in that day there would have been very few copies of the Law. Later on, the Jews interpreted this in a very literal fashion. Later on, the Jews would tie little small boxes on their foreheads and on their hands with small leather straps. These were called phylacteries, and Jesus mentioned these all throughout the Gospels.

And in those little boxes, they would place little scripture verses, and that was their external way of trying to be obedient to what we see here. But the point of the matter was that the Word was to be on the forefront of their minds day in and day out. Then fourth, the Word was to be prominent in their homes. Verse 9, "And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Here we see that they were to keep the Word of God in the home and outside of the home. The doorposts would be like our door frame in our house.

Now, what they would have done is they would have taken small little parchments, they would have rolled them, and they would have put them in little small cylinders, and they would have put them on the door frame of their house. And they would have put them on the right-hand side of the doorposts, and they would have put them on every single door in their home. Of course, the gate refers to the outside entrance of the home. So what do we see? The Word was to be prominent in the home, even outside of the home. So here we see the plan with the children. And I want to see, I want you to see this work. It's on three fronts.

Let's just divide it in a summary fashion on three fronts. First, for the parents, the fathers and the mothers were to have the Word of God in their minds and in their hearts. The Word of God was to be in the very fabric of their being. Second, they were to have the Word of God in their homes. The Word of God was to be in every room of their home, and the Word of God was to be even outside of their home. And then third, they were to teach their children. They were to teach their children night as day, as they sit, as they go along, when they're in the home and when they are out of the home.

Now, in application, this leads me to make application in three areas using three questions. First of all, parents, do you have the Word of God in your heart and in your mind? Are you diligently studying the Word of God? Are you night and day, early and late? Are you making the study of the Word of God a priority in your life? Is your Bible well worn? Do you have specific times where you are studying the Word of God? I think we do a pretty good job of dividing the Word for you. We give you an ample diet of the Word of God Sunday morning and Sunday night. There is an ample diet for you to go back home and to pray over and to study.

And my question for you, parents, do you hide the Word of God in your mind? Do you work hard that the Word of God would not just go into your mind, but it would trickle down into your heart and into your very being? Do you spend time praying over the Word of God? Do you spend time on your knees over the Word of God? Do you spend time praying and fasting over what's being preached here because we preach the Word of God? Second, do you have the Word of God in your homes? Is the Word of God prominent in your home? Is the Word of God in a prominent place in your home? I want to ask you another question. Is the Word of God in every room?

Is the Word of God in every part of your life? Man, is the Word of God part of your work? Man, is the Word of God part of your hobbies? Is the Word of God part of your television programs? Is the Word of God part of your phone conversations? Listen, is the Word of God in your home? That's what Moses meant when he said, that's what God was trying to say through Moses. You put it on every doorpost because it's supposed to be in every part of your life, in every part of your home. So do you have the Word of God in your home? And then third, are you teaching your children at all? Do you teach them only in a sit-down session much like school?

I think many people make that mistake. They have one particular time, they sit down and they teach, and then that's it. If we are paying attention at all with this Deuteronomy passage, it's more than that, although that is good. But the point of the matter is, it is to be in our hearts and in our lives and in the very fabric of our being as fathers and leaders and as mothers and wives. It is to be in our home because it is a part of our life and then we are to implant it into our children in a positive manner, implanting it in their minds and in their hearts when they rise, when they go to bed, no matter what is going on. That is the plan.

Now, as we move to conclusion, you should see how this message builds on last week. They just go together. We learn that children are a gift from God. People, we must be reminded, they are not ours. They were given by God for God's purposes and how dare we take our children and use them for our selfish reasons. They're a gift. Then we learned last week, Paul does give specific instruction to the fathers. I just happen to believe in our culture, our men's need to tune up. Our men need to be jerked by the nap of the neck and they need to be seen that it is their responsibility to lead their home, not to form it out to even the wife.

And then this morning we're looking at the approach. It's a positive approach. This is not a dictatorship. This is not a set of rules and regulations. No. And it is a family approach. It takes both. And then it comes out of a love for God. Why do we do these things? We love God. We want to love God with all of our heart and all of our soul and all of our strength and all that we are and ever will be. And then we have a plan. The word of God, a relationship with God is going to be who we are and everything that we are. It's going to be in our homes. It's going to be in our thoughts. It's going to be in our hobbies.

It's going to be in our home because it is in us. And then we pour it into our family. We pour it into our children. Morning, noon, and night. And if that is our approach, listen, there will be no hypocrisy. Now, this involves the home and its totality. Does it not? I mean, this involves everything. I think just with these two messages, I've been able to take a blanket and cover the whole home. It takes both parents one purpose, God's way. Now, as I close, I want to specifically, if I can, point this message to two people. The first person is the one who is not a born-again Christian. You're here. God's brought you here.

God's got you here for this purpose. You can do it externally. I know. You can do it in the flesh. I know. It could do some good. Yes, I know. But listen, take no comfort. If you are doing it in your flesh, if you're doing it in your flesh, you're not doing it out of a love for God because you do not love God. You need to be converted. You need to let God bring you to the place. And I believe God is working to bring you to that place where He would convert you and give you a new heart and a new life and a new mind. And then you can do it in the Spirit.

So if you're here and you are not a born-again mom or a born-again dad, listen, you keep coming. You keep being in the pew. You keep seeking the Lord. You keep studying the Word of God and seeking God that He may save you. And then the second person that I really want to aim at is those of us who are born-again Christians, dads. I think I used this term earlier in the series. The buck stops here. It stops with me. It stops with you, dads. We are the ones that set the pace. We are the ones that set the standard. That's why Paul said what he said to the fathers. What's the title of the message?

The family, our fundamental foundation, our responsibility of children. Really so much more. Responsibility of the home. Responsibility of so much. Let's pray. Lord Jesus, I think...